Indecision 2013 - Hey, I'm Votin' Here Edition - Weiner's Alienation

  • Aired:  09/05/13
  •  | Views: 68,434

The Best F#@king News Team Ever investigates Anthony Weiner's voter outreach campaign, and Carlos Danger defends his wife's honor. (5:58)

FOR MORE OF ANTHONY WEINER'S

ALIENATION OF VOTERS WE'RE

JOINED BY JESSICA WILLIAMS

IN HARLEM.

ANY SIGN OF ANTHONY WEINER

CAMPAIGNING UP THERE?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> HE WAS JUST HERE, JON.

HE BLEW THROUGH LIKE AN

[BLEEP] TORNADO.

AND I CAN'T QUITE DESCRIBE

WHAT I JUST SAW SO I TOOK A

PICTURE ON MY PHONE.

(LAUGHTER)

JON, I GUESS HE'S TRYING TO

APPEAL TO THE BLACK VOTE BUT

WE HAVEN'T DRESSED LIKE THAT

SINCE, UM, NEVER.

(LAUGHTER)

WE ARE NEVER DRESSED LIKE

THAT IN THE HISTORY OF TIME.

UNLESS WE'RE THE HARLEM

GLOBETROTTERS AND WE'RE

VISITING SCOOBY DOO IN A

VERY SPECIAL EPISODE.

AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT

THAT THING NEXT TO HIM IS.

BUT I HAVE A THEORY THAT

IT'S SOME SORT OF SOUND

BRIEFCASE.

>> Jon: GOOD TO KNOW.

I HAVE SEEN THOSE THAT'S A

BOOM BOX.

>> THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS.

>> Jon: WELL, IT'S A LITTLE

BIT.

>> JON, JON.

>> Jon: I'M SORRY, AASIF

MANDVI.

>> YEAH, I AM--

>> I'M HERE IN MURRAY HILL.

>> Jon: YEAH.

>> WHERE ANTHONY WEINER HAS

JUST COMPLETELY LOST THE

INDIAN VOTE.

>> Jon: WHAT DID HE DO?

>> WELL, THINGS WERE GOING

GREAT.

HE WAS HAVING DINNER WITH A

FEW INDIAN CONSTITUENTS AND

OUT OF NOWHERE HE DIPS HIS

SAMOSA IN HIS MANGO NUT

LASSI!

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: WHAT WAS HE SUPPOSED

TO DO WITH IT.

>> DRINK IT!

>> Jon: WHAT IS THE GREEN

STUFF.

>> THAT'S FOR THE SAMOSA.

>> Jon: OKAY, I'M SORRY!

WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO

WITH THE PINKISH ONION

LOOKING THING.

>> YOU DON'T TOUCH THOSE,

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THOSE ARE

FOR.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, I DIDN'T

REALIZE.

>> JON . YES, AL MADRIGAL, I

ASSUME ANTHONY WEINER HAS

DONE SOMETHING TO PISS OFF

THE LATINO COMMUNITY WHAT IS

IT THE CARLOS DANGER

THING.

>> Jon: WHAT THE HELL IS

THAT?

>> THAT'S THE DANGER SONG?

IN SPANISH.

WE'RE ACTUALLY FLATTERED BY

THE WHOLE CARLOS DANGER

THING. HE COULD HAVE PICKED

FRANCOIS DEGERE, OR SEAMUS

MCDANGER

OR FYVESH

McDANGERBERG BUT HE CHOSE US, I

THINK I'M VOTING FOR HIM.

>> I'M SORRY, HOLD ON A

SECOND.

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE-- .

>> Jon: WHAT DID HE DO, WHAT

IS IT.

>> I JUST GOT A MASS TEXT

FROM THE WEINER CAMPAIGN,

HE'S TRYING TO GET THE

LATINOS TO THE POLLS.

BUT LOOK AT THIS PICTURE.

>> Jon: I DON'T-- OH, WOW.

(LAUGHTER)

SOME SORT OF WEIRD SPEEDY

GONZALEZ DICK PIC?

>> YES, WE DO NOT PUT

SOMBREROS ON OUR PENISES.

>> ALTHOUGH IT WOULD HELP

PROTECT IT FROM THE SUN.

>> Jon: THANK YOU, AL

AL MADRIGAL, AASIF MANDVI

AND JESSICA WILLIAMS.

TO YOU LOOK, WEINER HAS

ALIENATED -- -- I THOUGHT

FOR A SECOND WHEN HE SAID HE

DIPS HIS SAMOSA IN A MANGO

LASSI I THOUGHT IT WAS ALSO

A EUPHEMISM BUT I GUESS IT

WASN'T.

WEINER IS ALIENATING VOTERS BUT

NOT HIS BASE, IT'S NOT LIKE

HE IS GOING INTO A KOSHER BAKERY

ON HIGH HOLY DAYS AND

YELLING AT A GUY IN A YALMULKE

>> WHAT HAVE I TOLD THAT YOU

ARE YOU MY JUDGE.

>> YOU'RE FINE.

>> YOU TALK TO GOD AND WORK

OUT YOUR PROBLEMS BUT STAY

OUT OF THE PUBLIC

EYE. THAT IS WHY

THEY HAVE ELECTIONS.

>> AND YOU'RE PERFECT,

YOU'RE GOING TO JUDGE ME.

>> I'M NOT RUNNING FOR

OFFICE.

>> YOU KNOW WHO JUDGES ME?

YOU KNOW WHO JUDGES ME?

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: THE VOTERS OF NEW

YORK CITY?

EVERYTHING THAT WEINER DOES

JUST LOOKS BAD NOW.

THERE'S NO REASON FOR IT

(APPLAUSE)

I MEAN FOR GOD'S SAKES WHAT

ARE YOU YELLING AT THIS GUY

FOR.

IT'S NOT LIKE HE INSULTED

HIS WIFE, OH, REALLY ROLL

THAT TAPE.

>> EMBATTLED NEW YORK

MAYORAL CANDIDATE ANTHONY

WEINER IN AN EPIC WAR OF

WORDS AT THIS BROOKLYN

BAKERY AFTER HE PAID FOR

SOME TRADITIONAL ROSH

HASHANAH BAKED GOODS.

>> REAL SCUM BAG.

>> VERY NICE.

>> WEINER BEGINS TO LEAVE

THE BAKERY BUT THEN, LISTEN

CLOSELY.

>> THIS MAN SAUL KESSLER

MAKES A RACIAL SLUR ABOUT

WEINER'S WIFE HUMA ABADINE

>> Jon: AH.

WELL THEN [BLEEP] THAT GUY.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

OF COURSE, IT DOES RAISE AN

INTERESTING POSSIBILITY.

WHAT IF EVERYTHING ANTHONY

WEINER HAS DONE MAKES SENSE

IF YOU LOOK AT IT A LARGER

CONTEXT.

WHAT IF THERE IS ONE PIECE

OF INFORMATION THAT MAKES

EACH INCIDENT OKAY.

LIKE WHAT IF AT THAT WEST

INDIAN PARADE HE DIDN'T

REALIZE HIS MICROPHONE HAD

BEEN SET TO JAMAICAN ACCENT

AUTO TUNE.

NOW YOU MAY SAY ALL RIGHT,

FINE WHAT ABOUT THAT TEXT

MESSAGE HE SENT TO HIS

NON WIFE LADY WHERE HE SAID

HE WANTED TO QUOTE-- [BLEEP]

(LAUGHTER)

MAYBE SHE HAD SOMETHING ON

HER FACE AND HE TRIED TO GET

HER ATTENTION BY GOING LIKE,

YOU KNOW--

(LAUGHTER)

BUT SHE WASN'T, YOU KNOW,

AND THEN HE THOUGHT OH, I

KNOW WHAT COULD GET THAT

OFF.

(LAUGHTER)

AN MAYBE INSTEAD OF SENDING

A PICTURE HE MEANT TO SEND A

PICTURE OF-- BUT HIS CAMERA

PHONE AUTO CORRECTED.

NAH, HE'S JUST A GUY WITH

SELF-CONTROL ISSUES NEVER

SHOULD HAVE RUN FOR MAYOR.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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