Indecision 2012 - How Is It that Mitt Romney Hasn't Crushed this Guy Already?

  • Aired:  02/27/12
  •  | Views: 402,743

Rick Santorum finds JFK's stance on religious freedom nauseating and Obama's educational aspirations snobbish, while Mitt Romney finds a blue collar connection impossible. (7:18)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILY

SHOW.

I'M JON STEWART.

WE HAVE A GOOD ONE FOR YOU

TONIGHT.

TONIGHT ON THE PROGRAM-- AND I

CAN SAY THIS WITHOUT ANY

HESITATION AT ALL, MY FAVORITE

ASTROPHYSICIST ON THE PLANET

WILL BE HERE.

AUTHOR NEIL DEGRASSE WILL BE

HERE.

DID I SAY SPACE CHRONICLES?

I MEANT TO SAY SPACE

CHRONICLES.

WE BEGIN TONIGHT WITH HISTORY.

52 YEARS AGO AN IRISH CATHOLIC

SENATOR FROM MASSACHUSETTS

SOUGHT TO TEMPER ANTI-CATHOLIC

BIGOTRY BY REASSURING THE THAT

HIS POLITICAL ALLEGIANCE WAS

TO AMERICA AND NOT TO THE

VATICAN.

>> I BELIEVE IN AN AMERICA

WHERE THE SEPARATION OF CHURCH

AND STATE IS ABSOLUTE.

WHERE NO CATHOLIC CAN TELL THE

PRESIDENT, SHOULD HE BE

CATHOLIC, HOW TO ACT.

I BELIEVE IN AN AMERICA THAT

IS OFFICIALLY NEITHER CATHOLIC,

PROTESTANT, NOR JEWISH AND

WHERE RELIGIOUS LIBERTY IS SO

INDIVISIBLE THAT AN ACT

AGAINST ONE CHURCH IS TREATED

AS AN ACT AGAINST ALL.

>> Jon: NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE

ME, THERE IS A SHOW GIRL.

IT WAS A WATERSHED MOMENT FOR

CATHOLIC ASPIRATIONS IN THIS

COUNTRY, ONE THAT PAVED THE

WAY FOR KENNEDY'S PRESIDENCY

AND PERHAPS WITHOUT THAT

SPEECH THERE WOULD BE NO

PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDACY FOR

CATHOLIC RICK SANTORUM, A DEBT

HE ACKNOWLEDGES WITH THE

FOLLOWING.

>> VERY LATE IN MY POLITICAL

CAREER I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY

TO READ THE SPEECH, AND I

ALMOST THREW UP.

SNON I KNOW.

WERE YOU READING IT IN A CAR

BECAUSE THAT CAN OR A POORLY

AIR ATED BUS.

OR READING IT WHILE ON CONEY

ISLAND ON ONE OF THOSE CRAZY

PIRATE SHIP THINGY BECAUSE

IT'S HARD TO READ ON THOSE

THINGS OR STAND.

I CAN ONLY ASSUME YOU RICK

SANTORUM WERE IN AN ILL

VENTILATED VEHICLE BECAUSE

KENNEDY'S SPEECH LAYS OUT WHY

SOMEONE WHO PRACTICES A FAITH

THAT VOTERS ARE NOT AS

FAMILIAR WITH SHOULDN'T BE

DISQUALIFIED FROM OFFICE.

UNLESS... WHAT DID YOU THINK

HE SAID?

>> TO SAY THAT PEOPLE OF FAITH

HAVE NO ROLE NO ROLE IN THE

PUBLIC SQUARE, YOU BET THAT

MAKES YOU THROW.

WHAT KIND OF COUNTRY DO WE

LIVE IN.

>> Jon: ALL DO YOU HEAR ALL

FAITHS ARE WELCOME AS NO

FAITHS ARE WELCOME?

DO YOU HEAR MARTIN LUTHER

KING'S I HAVE A DREAM SPEECH

LIKE THIS, BLACK AND WHITE

CHILDREN CAN PLAY TOGETHER.

ONLY CHILDREN OF NO COLOR ARE

ALLOWED TO PLAY?

RICK, I'M SORRY THAT HEARING

THAT J.F.K. SPEECH ON RELIGION

MAKES YOU THROUGH UP.

IF HE WERE ALIVE TODAY KNOWING

THAT YOU WERE RUNNING FOR

PRESIDENT WHO MAKE HIM (BEEP)

HIS PANTS.

TO BE FAIR, THAT WOULD

PROBABLY JUST BE AGE.

HE'D BE, I THINK, 95.

I BELIEVE WE NEED TO

INAUGURATE A NEW SEGMENT ON

THE PROGRAM, HOW IS IT THAT

MITT ROMNEY HASN'T CRUSHED

THIS GUY ALREADY?

I MEAN, THE NEXT PRIMARY IS

MICHIGAN.

IT'S TOMORROW.

ROMNEY'S HOME STATE.

ROMNEY'S PROBABLY KILLING IT

UP THERE IN MOTOR CITY.

>> I DRIVE A MUSTANG AND A

CHEVY PICK-UP TRUCK.

ANN DRIVES A COUPLE OF

CADILLACS ACTUALLY.

>> Jon: THAT SOUNDS BAD.

TO BE FAIR, TO BE FAIR, SHE

DRIVES THEM AT THE SAME TIME.

WHAT IS SHE SUPPOSED TO DO?

SIT ON THE SAME FLOOR AS HER

CHAUFFEUR?

IS SHE GOING TO DRIVE A SINGLE

LEVEL CAR, A RANCH CAR?

COME ON.

NO.

ALL RIGHT.

I KNOW HOW ROMNEY CAN FIX THIS

ELITIST THING HE'S GOT GOING.

TO FLORIDA AND THE DAYTONA

500.

YOU LOVE NASCAR, RIGHT, MITT

IS.

>> THIS COMBINES A COUPLE

THINGS I LIKE BEST.

CARS AND SPORT.

>> LET ME START YOU RIGHT

THERE.

SPORT.

HERE IN THE HUMAN WORLD WE

CALL THINGS LIKE NASCAR

SPORTS.

FOOTBALL, BASEBALL, BASKETBALL,

SPORTS.

SPORT, SPORT-- THAT IS

SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT THING.

THAT REQUIRES A HORSE OR BOAT

OR AN ASCOT.

OR ALL THREE OF THOSE THINGS.

SO DAMAGE CONTROL FOR THE CARS

AND SPORT REFERENCE WHICH WAS

DAMAGE CONTROL FOR THE WIFE

HAS CADILLAC REFERENCE,

QUICKLY HOW CLOSELY DO YOU

FOLLOW NASCAR, ROMNEY GO.

>> ABOUT AS CLOSELY AS SOME OF

THE MOST ARDENT FANS BUT I

HAVE GREAT FRIENDS THAT ARE AS

NASCAR TEAM OWNERS.

>> Jon: IS THERE ANYTHING THAT

COMES OUT OF THIS GUY'S MOUTH

THAT COULDN'T COME OUT OF

THURSTON HOWELL III'S MOUTH.

I APOLOGIZE.

HOW IS IT THAT RICK SANTORUM

HASN'T CRUSHED THIS GUY?

THAT'S OUR NEW SEGMENT.

ASIDE FROM THAT J.F.K. MAKES

ME PUKE WHACKYNESS, WHY IS

SANTORUM NOT BREAKING THROUGH?

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA ONCE SAID

HE WANTS EVERYBODY IN AMERICA

TO GO TO COLLEGE.

WHAT A SNOB.

>> Jon: NO, NO, NOT (APPLAUSE)

WHAT A SNOB.

LOOK WHO IS EDUCATING HIS

CHILDREN.

I GUESS SOMEONE IS TOO GOOD

FOR NOT KNOWING THINGS.

RICK, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW

THIS BUT SNOBS ARE

EXCLUSIONARY IN NATURE.

DUDE, DO YOU KNOW WHO MUFFY

WANTS TO JOIN THE COUNTRY

CLUB?

ALL THE MEXICANS.

WHAT A SNOB.

JUST TO BE CLEAR, YOUR COMING

OUT AGAINST PEOPLE EDUCATING

THEIR KIDS BECAUSE IT'S FANCY.

EXPLAIN THAT.

>> A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THIS

COUNTRY HAVE NO DESIRE OR NO

ASPIRATION TO GO TO COLLEGE

BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT

SET OF SKILLS AND DESIRES AND

DREAMS THAT DON'T INCLUDE

COLLEGE.

THERE ARE... THERE'S TECHNICAL

SCHOOLS AND ADDITIONAL

VOCATIONAL TRAINING.

THERE'S SKILLS AND

APPRENTICESHIPS.

>> Jon: I MISUNDERSTOOD.

ALL SANTORUM IS SAYING IS THAT

FOUR-YEAR COLLEGES AREN'T FOR

EVERYONE.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH

TECHNICAL SCHOOLS, VOCATIONAL

TRAINING AND APPRENTICESHIPS

WHICH IS HARDLY THE

PRESIDENT'S POSITION.

>> I ASK EVERY AMERICAN TO

COMMIT TO AT LEAST TO ONE YEAR

OR MORE OF HIGHER EDUCATION OR

CAREER TRAINING, IT COULD BE A

COMMUNITY COLLEGE OR A FOUR-YEAR

SCHOOL.

VOCATIONAL TRAINING OR AN

APPRENTICESHIP.

>> Jon: EWWWW!

I JUST WINDED MYSELF.

YOU KNOW, I'M BEGINNING TO

SUSPECT THERE MIGHT BE

SOMETHING MORE TO SANTORUM'S

HATRED OF COLLEGES.

>> I UNDERSTAND WHY HE WANTS

YOU TO GO TO COLLEGE.

HE WANTS TO REMAKE YOU IN HIS

IMAGE.

>> Jon: RIDICULOUS.

IF OBAMA WERE TRYING TO REMAKE

US IN OUR IMAGE, HE WOULD

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