Law & Border

  • Aired:  04/26/10
  •  | Views: 466,909

The Arizona immigration law is very clear: the police will only check people who are reasonably suspicious. (8:21)

>> APRIL 26, 2010, FROM COMEDY CENTRAL'S WORLD NEWS HEADQUARTERS IN NEW YORK, THIS

IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH JON STEWART.

["DAILY SHOW" THEME SONG PLAYING]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MAN WE'VE GOT A MAN WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

THANK YOU.

ON OUR PROGRAM TONIGHT WE HAVE THE CHIEF -- WHY NOT --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WE HAVE THE CHIEF OF THE --

[LAUGHTER]

WE HAVE THE E.P.A. CHIEF LISA P.

JACKSON WILL BE JOINING US.

TONIGHT'S SHOW COMPLETELY GREEN.

SO MY APOLOGIES TO "THE DAILY SHOW" TIRE FIRE DANCES.

WE'LL HAVE YOU BACK ANOTHER NIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AS JUSTICE LOUIS BRANDEIS ONCE WROTE THE STATE ARE THE LABORATORIES LABORATORIES FOR DEMOCRACY.

A PLACE TO TEST AND SOLVE NATIONAL PROBLEMS.

THEN THERE'S ARIZONA.

>> THE BIRTHERS ARE BACK AND LEGISLATORS ARE LISTENING.

PASSING LEGISLATION TO REQUIRE A CANDIDATE TO SHOW A BIRTH CERTIFICATE TO GET ON THE

PRESIDENTIAL BALLOT.

>> ARIZONA IS THE THIRD STATE TO LEGALIZE WEAPONS WITHOUT A PERMIT.

>> THE TOUGHEST LAW AGAINST ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION.

>> Jon: THESE THREE BILLS WERE JUST ONE WEEK IN ARIZONA.

[LAUGHTER]

IT TURNS OUT ARIZONA IS THE METH LAB OF DEMOCRACY.

[LAUGHTER]

AND THIS IMMIGRATION LAW IS -- WHAT IS THIS -- WHAT DOES THIS IMMIGRATION LAW DOLL EXACTLY?

-- DO EXACTLY?

>> IT MAKES IT A STATE CRIME TO BE IN THE U.S. ILLEGALLY.

LEGAL IMMIGRANTS MUST CARRY PAPERWORK PROVING THEIR STATUS.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW THAT'S TOUGH.

IT'S NOT UNPRECEDENTED HAVING TO CARRY AROUND YOUR PAPERS.

SIT'S THE SAME THING FREE BLACK PEOPLE HAD TO DO IN 1863 LORD KNOWS THAT DIDN'T LEAVE ANY

RESIDUAL ANGER.

WHAT IS THE FUSS?

>> POLICE ARE REQUIRED TO CHECK ANYONE THEY HAVE A REASONABLE SUSPICION IS ILLEGAL AND PEOPLE

CAN SUE LOCAL GOVERNMENTS IF THEY THINK IMMIGRATION LAW IS NOT BEING ENFORCED.

>> Jon: YOU CAN SUE THE POLICE FOR NOT ENFORCING HARSHLY ENOUGH -- HELP, POLICE NEUTRALITY.

HOW MUCH OF A REACH IS THIS BILL?

WELL, LET'S HEAR WHAT TOM TAN KRAEUDO HAS TO SAY -- TAN CREDO HAS TO SAY ABOUT IT.

HE SAYS THE BORDER PATROL ARE NOT VIGILANTES THEY ARE HEROS.

>> I DO NOT WANT THE POLICE PULLING PEOPLE OVER BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD BE PULLED OVER.

>> Jon: HOLY (bleep).

HE THINKS YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR,

ARIZONA.

TOM TENCREDO, THE MAN MEXICAN PARENTS TELL THEIR KIDS ABOUT TO GET THEM TO EAT THEIR VEGETABLES.

HE THINKS YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR.

HE DOES.

IT'S LIKE TED NUGENT -- IT WOULD BE LIKE TED NUGENT PLEADING WITH YOU TO PUT DOWN THE GUNS AND

TALK THIS THING OUT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

ONE OF THE BILL'S SPONSORS,

STATE SENATOR RUSSELL PIERCE EXPLAINS HOW LAUGHABLE-HA -- CHARGES OF RACIALLY PROFILING ARE.

>> THE CHARGES ARE THAT WILL ENCOURAGE ALMOST MANDATE RACIAL PROFILING.

>> I HAVE TWO GRANDCHILDREN THAT ARE HISPANIC.

>> Jon: AND I'M GOING TO MISS THEM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

FOR MORE ON ARIZONA'S IMMIGRATION CONTROVERSY, WE GO TO WYATT CENAC LIVE FROM PHOENIX.

WYATT, HOW IN ANY WAY DO YOU ENFORCE THIS BILL WITHOUT RACIAL PROFILING OR VIOLATING EVIL

PROTECTION OR SEARCH AND SEIZURE LAWS IN THE CONSTITUTION?

>> IT'S EASY, JON.

THE LAW IS VERY CLEAR.

YOU ONLY CHECK PEOPLE WHO ARE REASONABLY SUSPICIOUS.

>> Jon: RIGHT.

BUT IF YOU DON'T CATCH THEM COMING ACROSS THE BORDER WHAT WOULD THEY BE DOING THAT WOE

SUSPICIOUS AS IMMIGRANTS?

ARE THEY LOOKING FOR PEOPLE DOING THIS?

>> OF COURSE NOT, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

THEY ARE LOOKING FOR ILLEGALS.

THEY ARE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE ACTING SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE GARDENING OR BURPING WHITE

PEOPLE'S BABIES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: WYATT, THOSE ARE NOT ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES IN AND OF THEMSELVES ASSUMING YOU HAVE THE

WHITE PARENTS' PERMISSION.

>> IT'S LIKE OBSCENITY IT'S HARD TO DESCRIBE IT BUT YOU KNOW IT WHEN YOU SEE IT.

SORRY, WHAT IS THAT?

YOU NEED MY DRIVER'S LICENSE.

LOOK, JON -- HERE.

LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE ALL RIGHT.

THIS GUY WALKING DOWN THE STREET LOOKED FINE, RIGHT.

>> Jon: I GUESS HE LOOKS FINE.

>> HE IS BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS GUY?

>> Jon: FINE?

>> NO.

HE'S NOT.

HE'S REASONABLY SUSPICIOUSLY ILLEGAL.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.

THIS GUY.

>> Jon: NO, THAT -- YES.

THAT'S JEFFREY DAHMER HE'S A CANNIBAL AND A KILLER.

HE IS OBVIOUSLY SUSPICION -- SUSPICIOUS.

YOU HAVE TO ARREST THEM.

>> THIS ISN'T HITLER'S GERMANY.

YOU CAN'T PULL PEOPLE OFF THE STREET FOR BEING HUNGRY.

WHAT ABOUT THIS GUY?

>> Jon: NO, NO.

MAYBE I WOULD STOP THE LAST GUY TO GET HIS AUTOGRAPH.

>> YOU COLLECT AUTOGRAPHS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS.

>> Jon: THAT'S PAUNCH FROM CHIPS.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

>> Jon: IT'S A TV SHOW IN THE 70s.

>> BECAUSE YOU ARE A BABY BOOMER YOU ARE DON'T APPLY THE LAW TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS.

>> Jon: ERIC ESTRADA WAS BORN IN NEW YORK.

>> WHAT IS THAT?

YOU NEED MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE,

TOO.

JON AOEURPBLGS GOING TO GIVE YOU A FINAL CHANCE.

WHAT DO YOU DO --

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT DO YOU DO -- TICK TOCK,

MAN, TICK TOCK.

>> Jon: YOU ALREADY HER?

-- YOU ARREST HER?

>> JUST HER.

>> Jon: THE MONKEY, TOO?

>> WHY BECAUSE HE'S GAY?

YOU DISGUST ME?

NO, WE HAVE LAWS TO PROTECT PEOPLE AND FLAMBOYANTLY GAY MONKEYS, ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GETTING IT MAN.

HOLD ON A SECOND, DUDE.

>> Jon: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND I.D.

>> IT'S COOL, JON I'D STOP ME,

TOO.

I COULD BE A DOMINICAN OR SOMETHING.

>> Jon: PART OF THE LAW SAYS YOU ARE WITHIN YOUR RIGHT TO REFUSE TO SHOW IDENTIFICATION.

ANYONE CAN SAY I'M A CITIZEN AND POLICE HAVE TO TAKE YOU AT YOUR WORD.

IT'S A LOOPHOLE SO BIG YOU COULD DRIVE A TRUCK FULL OF LABORERS THROUGH IT.

>> SURE, JON.

THEY WOULD NEVER FIGURE THAT OUT IN ARIZONA.

HERE IS SHERIFF JOE ARPAIO.

>> WE WILL ARREST THEM PURSUANT TO OTHER CRIMES.

>> NO I'M NOT DOING TIME OVER A BUSTED TAILLIGHT ON MY NEWS VAN.

RIGHT, MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

IT IS RIGHT --

>> Jon: WHO IS GOING TO FINISH?

WHO IS GOING TO FINISH?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHAT?

WHAT IS GOING ON?

>> JON, LET ME TAKE IT FROM HERE.

I GUESS I'M ANOTHER ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT DOING A JOB AN AMERICAN DOESN'T WANT TO DO.

>> Jon: YOU ARE NOT LEGAL IN THIS COUNTRY?

>> NOT BY A LONG SHOT.

>> Jon: ARE THEY STOPPED YOU AND ASKED YOU FOR I.D.?

>> WITH THESE EYES?

I GET INTO MOVIES FOR FREE WITH THESE BABY BLUES.

>> Jon: WHY DO YOU HAVE AN ASSAULT RIFLE?

>> THEY SAID I COULD CARRY ONE SO WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T I?

>> Jon: SEE YOU LATER JASON.

>> ADIOS.

I'M JUST KIDDING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

>> Jon: WYATT

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