Chinese Oil Drill

  • Aired:  06/04/13
  •  | Views: 52,646

Iraq repays America by awarding oil contracts to China. (4:13)

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>> Jon: HEY, I HAD TO

TURN-- WELCOME TO THE DAILY

SHOW, MY NAME IS JON STEWART,

GUEST TONIGHT NBC NEWS

ANCHORMAN BRIAN, BRIAN,

BRIAN WILLIAMS.

ACTUALLY, FATHER OF DAILY

SHOW CORRESPONDENT JESSICA

WILLIAMS, TRUE.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT FIRST OF ALL, LET'S GET

TO SOME SERIOUS STUFF.

ON THE INTERNATIONAL SCENE.

THE ABOUT THE UNITED STATES

BECOMING INVOLVED IN THE WAR

IN SYRIA.

SLOW DOWN, AMERICA.

REMEMBER OUR TROOPS ARE

STILL IN AFGHANISTAN AND WE

STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT

FOR SURE WHO WON THE IRAQ

WAR.

(LAUGHTER)

AND THE NOMINEES, A WINNER

OF THE IRAQ WAR ARE IRAQ.

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

AND DANIEL-DAY LEWIS.

(LAUGHTER)

AND THE WINNER OF THE 2003

TO 2011 IRAQ WAR IS --

>> ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE

"NEW YORK TIMES," CHINA IS

THE BIGGEST WINNER, ECONOMIC

WINNER FROM THE IRAQ WAR.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: THEY WEREN'T EVEN

NOMINATED!

CHINA IS NOT EVEN IN THE

RUNNING.

DON'T YOU HAVE TO BE IN A

WAR TO WIN IT?

CHINA?

CHINA, THEY HAVE ALREADY

BEATEN US IN SYNCHRONIZED

DRUMMING AND BEAR CUTENESS,

AIR CHEW ABILITY.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU GOT TO TAKE THIS FROM US

TOO?

>> CHINA IS THE LEADING

BUYER OF IRAQ OIL PURCHASING

IS 1.5 MILLION BARRELS A DAY

OR HALF OF IRAQ'S OUTPUT.

>> Jon: CHINA IS BUYING

THAT?

HUH?

I GUESS ALL THOSE PROTESTORS

WERE WRONG.

THEY HAD THE NO IN THE WRONG

PLACE.

YES, THAT WAS WHAT HAPPENED.

THAT'S WHAT WE DID.

WE DIED FOR THE NO OIL.

HOW DID CHINA GET TO BUY ALL

THE OIL IN IRAQ?

>> CHINA HAS SPENT MORE THAN

$2 BILLION AND SENT HUNDREDS

OF WORKERS INTO IRAQ TO

SECURE A STAKE IN THE OIL

BUSINESS.

(LAUGHTER)

IRAQ YOU AWARDED ALL YOUR

OIL CONTRACTS TO CHINA,

IRAQ.

I MEAN COME ON, MAN.

WE LAUNCHED A SUSTAINED

SHOCK AND AWE BOMBING

CAMPAIGN ON YOUR COUNTRY.

WE REDUCED YOUR ALREADY

STRESSED INFRASTRUCTURE TO

RUBBLE AND UNLEASHED

SECTARIAN CONFLICT THAT EVEN

NOW COST YOUR COUNTRY

HUNDREDS OF LIVES PER MONTH.

AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY

US?

(LAUGHTER)

YOU UNGRATEFUL-- CHINA

THINKS OH, WE SPENT $2

BILLION, REBUILDING IRAQ

INFRASTRUCTURE.

BIG [BLEEP] DEAL!

WHEN WE WERE IN IRAQ WE

SPENT $2 BILLION JUST

LOOKING FOR THE OTHER $9

BILLION WE LOST.

APPARENTLY WE SHIPPED IT TO

IRAQ IN A CONTAIN THEIR SAID

$9 BILLION AND SOMEONE RAN

OFF WITH IT.

WELL, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT DOES THAT SAY?

THAT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE A

CUTOUT OF GEORGE W. BUSH.

WOULD WE HAVE TO CUT HIM

OUT?

I THINK WE ACTUALLY HAVE

THAT PICTURE OF HIM JUST

WITH A DIFFERENT SIGN.

I DON'T KNOW BY THE WAY IF

THAT ACTUALLY SAYS MISSION

ACCOMPLISHED IN MANDARIN

THAT ACTUALLY COULD SAY

SOMETHING ABOUT GENERAL

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