Democalypse 2012 - Negate Expectations - The Presidential Debates

  • Aired:  10/01/12
  •  | Views: 45,604

Wyatt Cenac and Aasif Mandvi help voters decide which functional man-child candidate is best equipped to bring America back to greatness. (2:11)

>> ZING!

>> THE CANDIDATES ARE PREPARING FOR WEDNESDAY'S DEBATE WE GO TO SENIOR CORRESPONDENT AASIF MANDVI.

>> YOU ARE WITH THE ROMNEY CAMP, HOW IS HE DOING?

>> HE IS PREPPING THE BEST HE CAN, JON, BUT YOU HATE TO SEE AN UPHILL BATTLE LIKE THIS, THIS IS

THE PRESIDENT, THE GREATEST OR FOR THIS, ORATOR THIS COUNTRY HAS SEEN SINCE LINCOLN.

>> LIKE I MEAN, MITT ROMNEY, TALK ABOUT BRILLIANT TWO, HARVARD DEGREES, THE GUY HAS NEVER EVEN LOST AN ARGUMENT, HE

IS NO SLOUCH, I MEAN, HE IS THE PRESIDENT.

>> SMOKE AND MIRRORS, JON, RIGHT NOW THEY ARE DRILLING HIM ON BASIC GRAMMAR SKILLS.

HOPING TO GET SOME AGREEMENT DURING THIS DEBATE.

>> ROMNEY'S PEOPLE ARE JUST HOPING HE REMAINS UP RIGHT.

>> HE IS A BUYING NAPPER, JON, BUYING NAPPER.

>> MITT ROMNEY, 90 MINUTES AWAKE AND UP RIGHT MEANS BUYING WIN FOR THE CAMP.

>> Jon: WELL, I CERTAINLY IMAGINE ROMNEY WILL ACCOMPLISH THAT.

>> BARACK OBAMA CAN ONLY COUNT TO 27.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

>> MITT ROMNEY HAS NEVER GONE MORE THAN 17 MINUTES WITHOUT BLURTING OUT THE N WORD.

>> Jon: REALLY?

>> THE N WORD!

>> BARACK OBAMA GETS THROUGH THIS DEBATE WITHOUT PULLING OUT HIS DONG AND SWINGING IT AROUND WHILE YELLING CHECK OUT MARINE

ONE! IT WILL BE A VICTORY!

>> IF ONLY MITT ROMNEY KNEW HOW TO USE A ZIPPER HE COULD ZIPPER THE NAME OF ONE OF HIS SONS.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, GUYS, SLOW DOWN.

IF MITT ROMNEY DOESN'T PASS OUT.

>> NOT LIKELY BUT IFED HAPPENS, BUYING VICTORY.

>> Jon: AND IF BARACK OBAMA KEEPS HIS (BLEEP) IN HIS PANTS

>> I DON'T SEE THAT HAPPENING BUT FINGERS CROSS, THAT WOULD BE A HUGE, HUGE VICTORY.

>> Jon: WILL HELP AMERICANS DECIDE WHICH ONE OF THESE FUNCTIONAL MAN CHILDREN IS BEST-EQUIPPED TO BRING AMERICA

BACK TO GREATNESS.

>> YEP.

>> Jon: THANK YOU SO MUCH,

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