A Bugged Life

  • Aired:  10/30/13
  •  | Views: 39,043

If you're a world leader and you put a USB stick Russia gave you at the G20 summit into your computer, you deserve what you get. (3:08)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILY

SHOW, MY NAME IS JONSTEWART.

NICE SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

OUR GUEST DIANE RAVITCH HERETO TALK ABOUT EDUCATION AND

EDUCATION REFORM.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THEREARE MANY CONSEQUENCES TO THE

GROWING CASCADE OFREVELATIONS ABOUT OUR

NATION'S SPYING ACTIVITIES.

MOST RECENTLY THE BUGGING OFGERMAN CHANCELLOR ANGELA

MERKEL'S CELL PHONE ANDLEDERHOSSEN DRAWERS.

(LAUGHTER)AND THE FACT THAT THE UNITED

STATES PRETENDED TO BE HERONLINE BOYFRIEND FOR TWO

YEARS.

TOUISOSOPO!

BUT PERHAPS I NEVER REALIZEDHOW ACUTE AND DIRE THE

FALLOUT OF THIS MAY BE UNTILI SAW THIS SHOCKING STORY.

>> RUSSIAN LEADERS AREDENYING REPORTS OF SPYING ON

OVERSEAS LEADERS.

THEY ARE ACCUSED OF PASSINGOUT BUGGED GIFT BAGS AT LAST

MONTH'S G-20 SUMMIT.

>> Jon: BUGGED GIFT BAGS!

BEFORE ALL THESE REVELATIONSWE COULD HAVE JUMPED ALL

OVER THIS STORY WITH GOODOLD-FASHIONED AMERICAN

CONDESCENSION AND SMUGSUPERIORITY, THROWN OUT A

LITTLE BORIS AND NATASHAREFERENCE.

DONE A LITTLE YAUKOFFSMIRNOFF, IN RUSSIA GIFT BAG

RUMMAGE THROUGH YOU, BUT NOW-- (LAUGHTER)

I CAN ONLY SNEER AT HOW HAMHANDED THEIR SPYING IS.

>> DELEGATES WERE GIVEN USBMEMORY STICKS AND PHONE

CHARGERS EQUIPPED WITHSPYWEAR.

>> IF YOU'RE A WORLD LEADERAND YOU PUT THE USB STICK

RUSSIA GAVE YOU INTO YOURCOMPUTER, YOU DESERVE TO

HAVE THEM [BLEEP] WITH YOURSCREENSAVER.

WOW.

THAT IS GOING TO HAUNT MYDREAMS.

OH.

LIKE I WAS HYPNOTIZED.

BUT IT IS NOW ABUNDANTLYCLEAR THAT ANY OPPORTUNITY

FOR OUTRAGE OR MORAL PEARLCLUTCHING THAT WE

WOULD LIKE TO ENGAGE IN WHENLEARNING OF ANOTHER

COUNTRY'S COVERT ACTIVITIESIS LONG GONE.

THE ONLY THING LEFT FOR TOUS DO IS PRETEND WE HAD NO

IDEA IT WAS HAPPENING.

>> THE SENATE INTELLIGENCECOMMITTEE SENATOR DIANE

FEINSTEIN A LOYAL DEFENDEROF THE NSA BROKE RANKS AND

SAID THEY HAVE BEEN KEPT INTHE DARK OF JUST WHAT THE

NSA WAS UP TO DEMANDING ATOTAL SURVEILLANCE REVIEW.

>> IF ONLY WE HAD SOME WAYOF SECRETLY FINDING OUT WHAT

THE SPY ORGANIZATION WASUP-- OH, YOU KNOW WHO COULD

HELP US, THE NS-- OH [BLEEP]IT'S TIME FOR A GOOD OLD US

OF A PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITYSCRAMBLE.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY, I DON'TRECALL IF I HAD BEEN

SPECIFICALLY BRIEFED ONWHETHER OR NOT THIS IS

BUTTER.

(LAUGHTER)AND ARBIES.

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