Indecision 2012 - Take the Money and Don't Run

  • Aired:  10/06/11
  •  | Views: 405,321

The only way Sarah Palin's fundraising scheme would be dishonorable is if she'd made up her mind long ago, but dangled fake indecision in front of donors. (5:22)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILY

SHOW, MY NAME IS JON

STEWART.

OH, WE HAVE A NICE SHOW

TONIGHT.

I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO

ENJOY YOURSELF, OUR GUEST

JASON SUDEIKIS HERE TO PRO

NOTE-- PROMOTE A NEW PROGRAM

HE'S ON SATURDAY,-- ON

"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE", GOD

BLESS HIM.

I DON'T KNOW IF THIS THOUGH

IS GOING TO LAST, EVERYBODY

KNOWS, SATURDAY NIGHT IS

BRIDGE NIGHT.

EVERYBODY THAT WATCHES THE

PROGRAM WE RECENTLY SPENT

TIME ANALYZING HOW SARAH

PALIN HAS BEEN TRAVELING THE

COUNTRY IN A CONSTITUTION

WRAPPED BUS FREQUENTING

EARLY PRIMARY STATES AND

TALKING ABOUT HER PLANS TO

SAVE AMERICA WHICH SUGGESTED

TWO VERY DISTINCT

REQUESTEDS.

>> YOU ARE EITHER RUNNING

FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

STATES OR YOU ARE A CRAZY

PERSON.

(LAUGHTER)

WELL, LAST NIGHT SARAH PALIN

WENT ON FOX NEWS, BRAVELY

SUPPORTING-- THAT COULD HAVE

EASILY CAR KEYED HER AWAY

IN -- TO PROVIDE THE ANSWER.

>> NO, I'M NOT RUNNING.

>> Jon: SO I'M READY TO CALL

IT WITH 100% OF SARAH

PALIN'S REPORTING TONIGHT.

THE WINNER IS CRAZY PERSON.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

CRAZY PERSON WAS THE OBVIOUS

FRONT-RUNNER.

ONLY THING NOW IS FOR SARAH

PALIN TO MAKE HER CONCESSION

SPEECH.

BUT UNLIKE CERTAIN ATTENTION

WHORES WHO WILL REMAIN THE

GOVERNOR OF NEW JERSEY,

SARAH PALIN PLAYED IT IN HER

TYPICAL LOW KEY FASHION.

STATEMENT RELEASED FOR THE

RADIO THEN A FEW HOURS LATER

ON THE PEOPLE.

>> TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I

MADE MY ANNOUNCEMENT TODAY

IN THE FORMAT THAT I DID

BECAUSE THAT WAS HIS 7

1,000,000, NO AND I DIDN'T

WANT TO GO THROUGH ALL OF

THAT.

I WANTED TO, YOU KNOW, JUST

KIND OF PUT THE MARKER DOWN

AND SAY NO, I'M NOT RUNG.

NOT HAVE A BIG PRESS

CONFERENCE, NOT MAKE A BIG

DARN DEAL ABOUT IT, BECAUSE

THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME.

ALTHOUGH TRUTH BE TOLD YOU

CAN'T SPELL AMERICA WITHOUT--

(LAUGHTER)

OR IF I MAY ASK YOU GOVERNOR

PALIN, THAN WHAT WERE YOU

DOING.

>> SARAH PALIN HAS STARTED

THE NATIONWIDE BUS TOUR.

>> SHE CASHED MITT ROMNEY'S

PARTY BRINGING HER BUS TOUR

TO NEW HAMPSHIRE ON THE SAME

DAY THE FORMER MASSACHUSETTS

GOVERNOR WAS THERE TO

ANNOUNCE FOR PRESIDENT.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA MAKES HIS

FIRST 2011 VISIT IN IOWA,

AND AT THE SAME TIME SARAH

PALIN MAKES AN APPEARANCE.

>> SARAH PALIN WASN'T IN THE

BIG DEBATE AND SHE IS NOT ON

SATURDAY'S IOWA EXTRAPOLL

BALLOT BUT ROLLED INTO THE

STATE FAIR.

>> THE TOUR IS REALLY

STEALING THE POLITICAL

CENTER FROM SO OTHER

PROSPECTIVE CANDIDATES

WITHIN THE WORST PART ISN'T

SHE IS LIKE A GUEST AT A

WEDDING THAT SHOWS UP

WEARING A WEDDING DRESS BUT

INSISTS, HEY, I AM NOT HERE

SPOILING YOUR BIG DAY, I'M

JUST HERE TO HELP YOU GET

YOUR MESSAGE OUT ABOUT

FIDDLITY.

(LAUGHTER)

OH, AND IF YOU DON'T MIND, I

HAVE SOME VOWS I WANT TO

READ, IT WON'T TAKE A

MINUTE.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT

THAT-- FOR THE MOST PART HER

NARCISSISM IS VICTIMLESS

CRIME, EXCEPT FOR THIS.

>> TWO WEEKS AGO PALIN

SUPPORTERS GOT A LETTER FROM

SARAHPAC CURIOUSLY SPECIFIC

ABOUT ITS PURPOSE.

AS YOU KNOW, GOVERNOR PALIN

IS ON THE VERGE OF MAKING

HER DECISION OF WHETHER OR

NOT TO RUN FOR OFFICE.

SOMEONE MUST SAVE OUR NATION

FROM THE ROAD TO EUROPEAN

SOCIAL ILL, DO YOU THINK IT

SHOULD BE GOFF TER PALIN.

IF SO, CAN YOU SEND YOUR

BEST ONE TIME GIFT TO

SARAHPAC AND SHOW HER WE

SUPPORT HER IF SHE DECIDES

TO RUN.

SO EVERYONE, LET ME

TRANSLATE THAT, IF YOU WANT

TINKER BELL TO LIVE, CLAP

HARRER.

(LAUGHTER)

NOW SARAHPAC ISN'T JUST SOME

GRASS ROOTS PALIN FAN CLUB

THAT SPROUTED UP NATURALLY

OUT OF THE MANURE FIELDS OF

WASILLA.

IT'S SARAH PALIN'S PAC AND

BY PAC I MEAN PACK OF MONEY.

IT'S HER MONEY, SHE CONTROLS

IT, SHE ALREADY USED

PREVIOUS DONATIONS FOR HER

FAMILY VACATION NECESSITIES

LIKE THE 14,000 DOLLAR

CONSTITUTION BUS ART,

$10,000 ON LOGISTICAL TRIP

CONSULTING.

$7,000 ON LODGING AND $3200

THAT WANT TO HER PARENTS,

CHUCK AND SALLIE HEATH FOR

PURPOSE OF DISBURSEMENT

CORRESPONDENCE AND CARD

MAILING.

NOW YOU MAY SAY TO YOURSELF,

WOW, THAT IS [BLEEP] CRAZY.

BUT THOSE ARE THE RULES THAT

ARE SET UP.

THE ONLY WAY THAT THE LITTLE

SCHEME WOULD BE DISHONORABLE

OR SHADY IS IF PALIN HAD

KNOWN ALL ALONG WHAT HER

DECISION WAS YET CONTINUED

TO DANGLE HER INDECISION AS

A LURE.

TO UNSUSPECTING DONORS.

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PROVE

THAT.

YOU WOULD HAVE TO FIND

SOMEONE CLOSE TO THE

OPERATION BUT PERHAPS TOO

NAIVE TO REALIZE SHE HAS

INADVERTENTLY SPILLED THE

BEANS ON LET'S SAY JUNE

28th.

>> DO YOU GET THE SENSE THAT

YOUR MOM HAS NOT MADE UP HER

MIND OR DO YOU THINK SHE

KNOWS AND HASN'T TOLD US.

>> YOU KNOW, SHE DEFINITELY

KNOWS.

WE TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE,

BUT SOME THINGS JUST NEED TO

STAY IN THE FAMILY.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: SEE, THAT KIND OF

TAKES THE OUT OF THE

SELF-LESS CATEGORY AND PUTS

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