The Victorious GOP - Everyone But Rumsfeld & Cheney

  • Aired:  05/15/13
  •  | Views: 138,565

Donald Rumsfeld accuses the Obama administration of promoting a self-serving narrative to fit its Middle East agenda. (5:13)

EMBARRASSING.

ANYWAY, SO THIS IS ALL BAD FOR

THE ADMINISTRATION.

THE QUESTION IS, HOW BAD?

>> THIS IS NIXONIAN.

THIS IS A PRESIDENT WHOSE INNER

NIXON IS BEING REVEALED

>> Jon: THAT'S IT.

IF THESE MEASURES FROM THE

I.R.S. AND JUSTICE WERE TAKEN AT

THE BEHEST OF THE WHITE HOUSE

THAT IS NIXONIAN.

AT BEST, IF YOU BELIEVE THE

ADMINISTRATION ONLY FOUND OUT

ABOUT THIS STUFF THROUGH NEWS

REPORTS, IT'S STILL BAD.

IT'S JUST THAT THE PRESIDENT'S

INNER MAGOO IS BEING REVEALED.

IT'S MAGOOVIAN.

I REMEMBER WHEN PRESIDENT MAGOO

NOMINATED A COAT RACK FOR

SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY.

IT WAS COMICAL.

UNTIL, OF COURSE, THE

DEVASTATING DEPRESSION.

BUT THIS WEEK I CAN'T NITPICK.

THE FLOOD GATES ARE OPEN.

EVERY CRITIC SUDDENLY HAS

CREDIBILITY.

EVERY SINGLE ONE.

WHO WOULDN'T HAVE THE STANDING

TO BE ABLE TO LEGITIMATELY

CRITICIZE THIS PRESIDENT.

I CAN'T IMAGINE.

>> I CAN'T IMAGINE...

Jon: HOLD ON.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

AREN'T YOU DONALD RUMSFELD?

I ASSUME YOU'RE ABOUT TO SAY

SOMETHING LIKE I CAN'T IMAGINE

POSSIBLY COMMENTING ON SOMETHING

LIKE THIS, GIVEN MY DUBIOUS

RELATIONSHIP WITH GOOD

GOVERNANCE.

>> I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW A PERSON

COULD STAND UP THERE WHEN

EVERYONE INVOLVED KNEW IT WAS A

TERRORIST ATTACK.

THE IDEA THAT IT WAS SOMEHOW

RELATED TO A YOU TUBE VIDEO AND

THAT THAT NARRATIVE KEPT BEING

PROMOTED, I SUPPOSE IT'S BECAUSE

IT FIT THEIR HOPES AND WHAT THEY

WANTED TO BE THE INDICATION.

... WHAT THEY WANTEDDED TO BE

THE CASE.

>> Jon: THANK YOU, DONALD

RUMSFELD.

I WAS THINKING THERE WAS NO WAY

TO OVERREACH.

YOU BELIEVED THE OBAMA

ADMINISTRATION IS PROMOTING A

NARRATIVE, NOT BECAUSE IT'S REAL

BUT BECAUSE IT FITS THEIR HOPES

AND WHAT THEY WANT TO BE THE

CASE?

YOU?

SENIOR W.M.D. MAGILL CUTTY,

ESQUIRE.

THE GUY WHO WANTED TO GO AFTER

SADDAM HUSSEIN ON 9/11 WHILE THE

PRESIDENT WAS STILL READING "MY

PET GOAT"?

YOU?

AND SOMEHOW MANAGED TO MAKE THAT

ATTACK HAPPEN EVEN THOUGH SADDAM

HUSSEIN HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH

9/11?

RUMSFELD IS GERMAN FOR PROMOTING

A NARRATIVE BECAUSE IT FITS YOUR

HOPES AND WHAT YOU WANT TO BE

THE CASE.

IT IS THE RARE GERMAN WORD THAT

IS ACTUALLY SHORTER THAN THE

THING IT IS DESCRIBING.

SO, NO!

YOU ALONE DON'T GET TO COME TO

THE VICTORY PARADE FOR THE

REPUBLICANS.

YOU'RE THE ONLY GUY WHO DOESN'T

GET TO WEIGH IN.

>> I THINK IT'S ONE OF THE WORST

INCIDENTS FRANKLY

>> Jon: DID I SAY ONE GUY?

IS THAT HE WHOSE NAME I DARE NOT

SPEAK.

THE ONE WHO SETS OFF MY

CHENEY-DAR.

WHO LED OUR COUNTRY ASTRAY-DAR?

SHOT HIS FRIEND IN THE FAY-DAR?

HAS THE HEART OF GRAY-DAR?

DON'T.

YOU.

DARE.

>> I THINK IT'S ONE OF THE WORST

INCIDENTS THAT FRANKLY THAT I

CAN RECALL IN MY CAREER.

THEY CLAIMED IT WAS BECAUSE OF A

DEMONSTRATION VIDEO SO THEY

WOULDN'T HAVE TO ADMIT THAT IT

WAS REALLY ALL ABOUT THEIR

COMPETENCE.

THEY LIED.

>> Jon: YOU DO NOT GET TO USE

THE L-WORD.

IN FACT, YOU DON'T EVEN GET TO

WATCH THE L-WORD.

DICK.

WHICH I CAN CALL YOU BECAUSE

THAT'S YOUR NAME.

AFTER THE THE LINES YOU TOLD,

YOU DON'T GET TO DOUBT ANYONE'S

CREDIBILITY.

IF A BASEBALL BREAKS YOUR WINDOW

AND YOUR GRAND KID WALKS IN THE

DOOR WITH A BASEBALL BAT AND

TELLS YOU THAT ZACH AND CODY

FROM THE SWEET LIFE DID IT WHILE

THEY WERE PLAYING A GAME WITH

SPONGE BOB, YOU JUST HAVE TO

[BLEEP] CHOKE THAT DOWN.

NOW, LISTEN TO ME.

AND LISTEN CLOSE.

ALL OF THESE SCANDALS COULD ADD

UP TO VERY BAD REPERCUSSIONS FOR

THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION.

MANY CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICANS

ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR MOMENT OF

RIGHTEOUSNESS BUT GUESS WHAT?

HISTORY DIDN'T START FRIDAY.

AND OBAMA ADMINISTRATION

TRANSGRESSIONS DON'T WIPE AWAY

YOURS WHICH ARE MANY AND

GRIEVOUS.

ENJOY WATCHING YOUR FRIENDS HAVE

THEIR FUN BUT TWEEDAL-DICK AND

TWEEDAL-RUM DON'T GET TO JOIN

THE PARTY.

IT'S LIKE THIS.

IT'S LIKE THIS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

THAT'S MIKE TYSON.

HE DOESN'T GET TO MAKE FUN OF

SOMEONE'S TATTOO.

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