I Watch "Morning Joe"

  • Aired:  03/26/14
  •  | Views: 165,919

Samantha Bee's one-woman show returns with a compelling story of family loyalty and binding friendship on "Morning Joe." (6:47)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK. WOO.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S A MORNINGCABLE NEWS SHOW FOR EVERY

AMERICAN.

FOR THE HEARTLAND CONSERVATIVETHERE'S YOUR FOX AND FRIENDS.

[ LAUGHTER ]FOR AMERICANS WAITING AT THE

DMV, THERE'S CNN'S NEW DAY.

[LAUGHTER]BUT IF YOU WANT THE INSIDE SCOOP

ON WASHINGTON'S POWER PLAYERSLOOK NO FURTHER THAN MSNBC'S

MORNING JOE.

>> I'M SORRY, JON, LET ME STOPYOU RIGHT THERE.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: OOH, BOY.

>> MMM HMM YEAH.

MORNING JOE IS NOT A MORNINGNEWS SHOW.

>> Jon: SAM, IT'S A -- IT'S AMORNING NEWS SHOW.

>> NO, JON, MORNING JOE IS AFAMILY.

THE KIND OFFAMILY YOU DON'T SEE MUCH

ANYMORE.

[LAUGHTER]WHAT WITH TOOAY'S DIVORCE RATES

AND RAP MUSIC, AND FROZENYOGURT.

NO, MORNING JOE IS A FAMILYTHAT STICKS TOGETHER.

AND I SHOULD KNOW BECAUSE I'MSAMANTHA BEE AND I WATCH MORNING

JOE!

♪ THE MORNING JOE FAMILY IS AS

AMERICAN -- AS AN APPLE PIE.

[ LAUGHTER ]DADDY JOE IS A SALT OF EARTH

WEALTHY FORMER CONGRESSMAN.

MOTHER MIKA THE DAUGHTER OFIMMIGRANTS.

HIGH SOCIETY IMMIGRANTS, NOTTHE GROSS KIND.

[ LAUGHTER ]AND TOGETHER THEY ARE STRAPPED

ONTO THE ROCKETSHIP OF PASSIONTHAT IS MIDDLE AGED COUPLEDOM.

>> YOU CAN ALWAYS TELLCOUPLES THAT ARE NOT WORKING

OUT WELL BECAUSETHEY DRESS LIKE THEY'RE

GOING TOTWO DIFFERENT PARTIES.

>> YOU LOOK NICE TODAY BUT STILLIN THESE FREEZING TEMPERATURES

NO SOCKS. IT'S FLORIDASHOES, THOSE SMELLY THINGS.

>> I'M MAKING A STATEMENT.

>> YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO LOSEABOUT FIVE MORE POUNDS.

>> AND THEIR ROTE LOVELESSTV MARRIAGE BEGOT THE GREATEST

GIFT OF ALL BOY PUNDITS.

THERE'S WILLIE, MARKEY, LITTLEJOHNNY, BALD JOHNNY, HARRY BOWIECOLUMN JR.,

SMALL STEVIE, DOUBLE D'S,GIBBSEY, THE TODDSTER,

SLINGSHOT, TOM TOM, WHAMMYSAMMY, MIKEY S., MIKEY B. ANDMIKE.

AND YOU KNOW HOW BOYS ARE!

>> I THINK JOE WAS RIGHT.

>> I AGREE WITH JOE.

>> JOE IS RIGHT.

>> JOE IS RIGHT.>> I'M GOING TO AGREE WITH JOE.

>> I THINK JOE IS RIGHT ABOUTTHIS.

>> ALWAYS COMPLETELY AGREEINGWITH THEIR DAD.

HEY BUT MOMMY MIKA'S GOTOPINIONS OVER HERE, BOYS.

SHE'S NOT JUST A PAIR OF ALL YOUCAN EAT BUFFETS.

CENTERS HERSELF. OF COURSE AFAMILY THIS BIG HAS PLENTY OF

LOVE TO GIVE WHICH IS WHYMORNING JOE HAS SO MANY GREATFRIENDS.

>> MAYOR BLOOMBERG, A GOODFRIEND OF OURS.

>> A HEDGE FUNDBILLIONAIRE. QUITE FRANKLY, AFRIEND OF OURS.

>> WE'RE FRIENDS OF JERRYWEINTRAUB. WENT OVER TO

HIS HOUSE YESTERDAY.

>> WE LOVE FRED ARMISEN.

>> BONO WAS THERE. YOU GUYS WERECHATTING AWAY.

>> WE HAVE GOOD FRIENDS IN THEWHITE HOUSE.

>> WE'RE GOOD FRIENDS WITH CHRISCHRISTIE.

>> YES WE ARE.

>> YOU WOULD BE HARD PRESSED TOFIND PEOPLE IN WASHINGTON I'M

NOT FRIENDS WITH.

>> HAHA YOU CAN'T. BECAUSEIF THEY ARE NOT FRIENDS

WITH JOE AND MIKATHEY DON'T EXIST.

THEY ARE NOTHING.

[LAUGHTER]IT'S A PERFECT LIFE IN A PERFECT

WORLD AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO BESO HAPPY FOREVER.

>> SHE INTERRUPTS ME ALL THETIME. CAN I JUST STOP YOU

FOR A SECOND? >> NO ACTUALLY, YOU CANNOT.

>> DO YOU WANT TO SAY THAT ONTELEVISION THAT I'M ACHAUVINIST?

>> IT'S DAMN COLD OUT.

>> PLEASE STOP FIGHTING. ISIT MY FAULT? PLEASE DON'T RUINCHRISTMAS.

>> I DIDN'T.>> YOU DID.

>> THIS IS HORRIBLE.

>>YOU SOUND LIKE YOUR FATHER. >>YOU SHUT UP!

>> I'M SORRY.

YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO GETDIVORCED, AREN'T YOU?

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO LIVEWITH LAWRENCE O'DONNELL, HE

DOESN'T FLUSH THE TOILET.

[ LAUGHTER ]CAN'T ANYTHING SAVE THIS FAMILY?

>> GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE'SIMAGE AS A FRONT RUNNER IN 2016,

SOME SAY IS IN JEOPARDY.

>> WHAT?

UNCLE CHRIS IS IN TROUBLE?

>> I TALKED TO HIM YESTERDAY FOR15 MINUTES.

HE'S HAVING A HARD TIME.

HE IS REALLY SAD.

>> HE'S SAD? IS ITBECAUSE THE MEDIA IS

TRYING TO PIN THAT BRIDGESCANDAL ON HIM

JUST BECAUSE THAT WILDSTEINGUY, THE GUY WHO UNCLE CHRIS

SUSPICIOUSLY APPROVED A NEW JOBFOR IN THE AGENCY THAT RUNS

THE BRIDGE SAYS THAT CHRISTIEKNEW ABOUT IT.

>> HOLD ON. HOLD ON.

THIS IS WILD SPECULATION.

>> YEAH IT'S JUST WILDSPECULATION THAT A GOVERNOR

WOULD EVER TALK TO HIS STAFF.

WHAT IS HE SOME KIND OF PERVERT?

OR WAS IT THAT HOBOKEN MAYORTHAT WROTE IN HER PRIVATE DIARY

THAT CHRISTIE TRIED TO SHAKE HERDOWN.

GET HER, DAD.

>> I'M SAYING IF YOU WERESITTING DOWN AND CALL HIM QUOTE

CORRUPT IN HER PRIVATE DIARY -->> IN HER PRIVATE DIARY --

WHY ARE YOU SAYING HE ISA GREAT GUY PUBLICLY.

WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT ABOUTHER CHARACTER?

>> IT SAYS SHE'S A LIAR AND AWHORE AND A DRUNK WHO DOES

DRUGS.

POLITCALLY SPEAKING A DRUNKENWHORE JUNKY.

COME ON YOU MEDIA JACKALS IT'SJUST A BRIDGE.

IS IT REALLY MORE IMPORTANT THANUNCLE GOVERNOR CHRISTIE'SFEELINGS?

>> I JUST WONDER IF WE'VE ALLBEEN GUILTY OF BLOWING THIS OUTOF PROPORTION.

>> IT'S SORT OF LIKE SHOOT FIRSTASK QUESTIONS LATER.

>> WE ALSO HAVE TO WATCH OUTFOR THE PYLON.

>> THE BLOGGERS WITH THESCANDAL CHRIS CHRISTIE AND

EATING THE CHEETOS.>> STOP!

>> YOU KNOW, I'VE LEARNEDSOMETHING HERE TODAY.

♪ OH, SURE, MY MORNING JOE FAMILY

MAY FIGHT AND BICKER AND STAR(bleep) LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS

BUT WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN FOR

ONE OF OUR POWERFUL FRIENDS WE PULL TOGETHER TO ATTACK ANYONE

WHO QUESTIONS THEM BECAUSETHAT'S WHAT MORNING NEWS SHOWS

DO.

DADDY, MOMMY, MAKE UP MY BED,I'M COMING HOME!

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: THANK YOU, SAM.

[ LAUGHTER ]SAMANTHA BEE, EVERYONE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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