Grand Theft Semi-Auto

  • Aired:  01/17/13
  •  | Views: 172,833

President Obama rips the Constitution to pieces by decreeing 23 reasonable limits on assault weapons and high-capacity magazines. (5:00)

Captioning sponsored by COMEDY CENTRAL

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW." MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MY GUEST TONIGHT FRESH OFF -- FRESH OFF GOLDEN GLOBE WIN FOR ACTING, PRODUCING, CHOREOGRAPHY,

LENA DUNHAM IS ON THE SHOW.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OBVIOUSLY THE BIG NEWS PRESIDENT OBAMA'S HOTLY ANTICIPATED ANNOUNCEMENT OF HIS NEW STEPS TO

TRY TO CURB GUN VIOLENCE.

AH, I DIDN'T SEE IT.

I DON'T --

[ LAUGHTER ]

I DON'T WANT -- I DON'T WANT TO BRING THE ROOM DOWN.

MY MIND HAS BEEN ELSEWHERE.

MY GIRLFRIEND, WHO TOTALLY EXISTS --

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT'S HER.

YOU DON'T KNOW HER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IS GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME.

SHE DIED.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND THEN, AH, AND THEN, AH, ALSO FELL OFF A CLIFF OF LEUKEMIA.

[ LAUGHTER ]

SO IT'S A TOUGH DAY TO BE HERE FOR ME.

BUT I'M GOING TO DO IT.

HER LAST TWEET TO ME WAS, "THIS SHOW MUST GO OOOOOOON.

--

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

-- WAIT, WAIT, #THUMP.

ALL RIGHT.

SO I MISSED THE WHOLE PRESS CONFERENCE.

WHAT HAPPENED?

>> LOCK AND LOAD.

>> OBAMA LAYS OUT HIS AGAIN CONTROL PLAN.

>> THE UNPRECEDENTED ASSAULT ON YOUR SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHTS.

THE SECOND AMENDMENT IS MEANT AS A FINAL FIREWALL AGAINST TYRANNY.

>> HE IS NOT A KING OR A CZAR.

>> GOING AFTER OUR GUNS.

>> CHIPPING AWAY AT OUR FREEDOM.

>> BARACK OBAMA CAME IN PEACE TO RIP OUR CONSTITUTION TO PIECES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: (bleep) WHAT DID HE DO?

LET'S LOOK AT THE PRESIDENT'S OPENING STATEMENT.

>> KNEEL BEFORE ZOD.

>> Jon: OH, THAT IS BAD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT IS BAD.

WHAT DICTATES DID KING BAMA DECREE.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA ASKED CONGRESS YESTERDAY TO PASS NEW LAWS INS -- INSTITUTING

UNIVERSAL BACKGROUND CHECKS AND BANS ON ASSAULT WEAPONS AND HIGH CAPACITY MAGAZINES.

>> Jon: TWO THINGS, ONE, THOSE MEASURES ENJOY, I BELIEVE, MAJORITY SUPPORT IN THE LATEST POLL.

AND TWO, WHEN TYRANTS WANT SOMETHING THEY THEY GENERALLY DON'T ASK THEIR LEGISLATIVE

BODIES IF THAT WOULD BE OKAY.

THEY TEND TO PROCEED WHAT IS THE WORD I'M LOOKING FOR TIE RANNICLY?

WHAT AM I MISSING?

>> A TOTAL OF 23 EXECUTIVE SIGNS SIGNED DIRECTLY IMPACTING YOUR RIGHT TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS.

>> THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS IN THE EXECUTIVE ORDERS THAT ARE UNAMERICAN AND FASCIST.

>> DOES HE NOT BELIEVE IN COEQUAL BRANCHES OF GOVERNMENT.

>> Jon: THE EXECUTIVE ORDERS THAT IS WHAT MAKES HIM A TYRANT.

LET'S SEE WHAT KING OBAMA IS BYPASSING CONGRESS TO DO.

EXECUTIVE ORDERED A LAUNCH OF A NATIONAL AND SAFE RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNERSHIP CAMPAIGN.

ORDERED NOMINATION OF AN ATF DIRECTOR, A LAUNCH ON A DIALOG ON MENTAL HEALTH AND ALLUG THE

CENTERS OF DISEASE CONTROL TO CONDUCT RESEARCH IN THE CAUSE OF GUN VIOLENCE AND THE WAYS TO

PREVENT IT?

REALLY?

TYRANNY?

BECAUSE WHEN I LISTEN TO THAT THAT AIN'T (bleep) HITLER.

I GUESS HANNITY WANTS TO PROTECT AMERICAN LIBERTIES AND WOULD STAND UP TO ANY PRESIDENTIAL

OVERREACH EVEN IF IT WAS DONE IN SAVING LIVES.

IF THE PRESIDENT WANTED TO LISTEN TO YOUR PRIVATE CONVERSATION WITHOUT A WARRANT.

I CAN'T IMAGINE HANNITY TALKING ABOUT THAT IN 2006.

>> THE PRESIDENT'S POWER TO THE CONSTITUTION IN COMMANDER IN CHIEF HE HAS TO ENSURE THE

SAFETY OF THIS COUNTRY AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, DOESN'T HE, ESPECIALLY DURING WAR.

>> Jon: LIKES LIKE A TYRANT IS ANYONE SWORN TO PROTECT THE CONSTITUTION YOU DIDN'T VOTE FOR.

FORMER PRESS SECRETARY DANA PERINO THOUGHT IT WAS AN UNTASTY --

>> EVEN IF THAT MEANS SURCOUPLE VENTING CONGRESS.

SIGNING THESE 23 EXECUTIVE ORDERS IS WEAK TEA.

>> Jon: HERE TESS IN HER PREVIOUS JOB.

>> THE PRESIDENT WILL SIGN AN EXECUTIVE ORDER PRESERVING TWO RECREATIONAL FISH, THE STRIPED

BASS AND RED DRUM.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: NO, NO, THERE'S A DISTINCTION HERE.

THERE'S A STRONG DISTINCTION HERE.

IT'S OKAY TO USE EXECUTIVE ORDERS BUT ONLY IF YOU

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