Zero Dark 900,000

  • Aired:  05/02/13
  •  | Views: 34,858

Samantha Bee and the Best F#@king News Team Ever conduct a massive search for an Iraq War veteran's elusive benefit claim form. (4:51)

STORE.

AT THIS POINT IT'S BEGINNING

TO SEEM LIKE NO ONE, NO ONE

CAN SHAKE BENEFITS LOOSE

FROM THE VA.

OR CAN THEY?

OUR OWN SAMANTHA BEE WENT

THERE.

>> 900,000 VETERANS HAVE

BEEN STUCK ON ENDLESS CALLS

TO THE VA FIGHTING FOR THEIR

RIGHTS.

IF I WAS GOING TO HELP, I'D

FEED TO ENGAGE IN THE

GREATEST PAPER HUNT OF ALL

TIME.

IT ALL BEGAN WITH THE STORY

OF IRAQ ARMY VETERAN EUGENE

MAYONNAISE.

OH MY GOD, OH NO WHAT IS

HAPPENING?

>> WHY IS THERE ALL THIS

GLASSWARE EVERYWHERE?

>> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU

DOING?

>>.

>> MANNING, IS THAT YOU?

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.

TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW.

>> WELL, I WAS IN IRAQ IN

200 -- I WAS HIT BY AN EID.

I PUT IN VA MEDICAL CLAIMS

FOUR TIMES AND THEY HAVE

LOST THEM THREE OUT OF FOUR

TIMES.

>> YOUR MOST RECENT RONE

CLAIM HOW LONG HAS THAT BEEN

IN PROGRESS.

>> ABOUT 330 DAYS.

>> SHE TOLD MY WIFE THAT THE

VA FORMS ARE IN A PILE, A

PHYSICAL PILE.

>> SO WHILE SOME COMPANIES

USE COMPUTERS, THE VA USE

PILE-BASED TECHNOLOGY.

>> THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

>> I'M GOING TO HELP YOU.

>> WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

>> I'M THE [BLEEP] THAT IS

GOING TO FIND YOUR CLAIM.

>> YOU CAN DO THAT.

>> YES, I'M TRAINED

SMOLDERER, I'M DOING DRAMA.

>> I ALREADY TWO YEARS AGO.

>> HOW MANY TIMES-- WANTS

DOW MEAN --.

>> YOU DON'T USE COMPUTERS

OVER THERE.

>> MANNING'S CLAIM EXISTED

ONLY ON PAPER, PEAKING IT

IMMUNE TO OUR ADVANCED

HACKING TECHNOLOGY.

>> THERE IS NOTHING.

>> WHY DO I EVEN HAVE A TECH

NERD.

GET OUT OF MY WAY.

OH, OH.

[BLEEP], OH.

>> THE CLAIM WAS LAST SEEN

IN THE MOUNTAINS OF

PAPERWORK, BUT IT COULD HAVE

ESCAPED TO THE MANHATTAN

REGIONAL OFFICE OR MAYBE

D.C..

>> SO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS

IT COULD BE ANYWHERE.

>> YES.

>> OKAY.

BREAK FOR LUNCH GUYS.

>> YEAH.

>> LET'S GO EXTRAS.

>> GUYS --

>> I NEEDED BETTER INTEL SO

I TRACKED DOWN A TRIBAL

LOCAL WHO AGREED TO MEET IN

PRIVATE.

>> I'M SORRY, I DON'T SPEAK

ARABIC.

>> OH.

>> CAN I --

>> CAN WE GET THE LIGHT DOWN

PLEASE.

HELLO AS A VETERAN'S

ADVOCATE FOR THE IAVA HE

MIGHT BE ABLE TO TELL US

WHERE TO LOCATE MANNING'S

MISSING CLAIMS FORM.

>> UNFORTUNATELY IT'S LIKE

FINDING A NEEDLE IN A

HAYSTACK.

>> WHEN WILL THE VA BE

ON-LINE.

>> I HAVE BEEN HEARING IT

WILL BE NEXT YEAR FOR THE

LAST THREE YEARS.

>> HAS ANYONE EVER FOUND

HIGH VALUED TARGET LIKE THIS

AT THE VA?

>> THEY HAVE A VETERAN WHO

IS WITH ME IN D.C. A FEW

WEEKS AGO.

HE HAD BEEN WAITING FOR A

YEAR.

HE WENT ON TELEVISION AND

TOLD HIS STORY AND LOW AND

BEHOLD THE NEXT DAY HIS

CLAIM WAS FIXED.

>> GENIUS.

>> ALL WE NEEDED TO DO WAS

SHOOT 900,000 MEDIA

INTERVIEWS WITH VETERANS AND

SHAME THE VA INTO TAKING

ACTION.

>> MY NAME IS MICHAEL DAIN,

I HAVE BEEN WAITING 515

DAYS.

>> 119 DAYS.

>> 350 DAYS,.

>> 702 DAYS, 153 DAYS.

>> I CAN'T DO IT ANY MORE.

>> THEY JUST KEEP COMING.

>> OKAY, EVERYBODY, JUST

TELL ME ALL AT ONCE, HOW

LONG YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING

FOR YOUR BENEFITS.

>> THERE ISN'T GOING TO

WORK.

>> WE HIT A DEADEND AND THE

TOP BRASS WAS NO HELP.

>> NEED TO SEE --

>> OKAY.

>> I KNOW, I KNOW, OKAY.

>> IT'S BEEN 300 DAYS.

>> NO!

>> I SHOULD HAVE JUST --

>> I WASN'T ANY CLOSER TO

FINDING MANNING'S CLAIM IT

WAS MORE THAN I COULD BEAR.

>> WHAT'S THAT, BOB.

>> I KNOW.

SERIOUSLY.

WILL SAMANTHA BEE GET HER

FORMS, STAY TUNED FOR ITS

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