Crisis in Dairyland - Apocalypse Cow

  • Aired:  03/10/11
  •  | Views: 281,129

Wisconsin Republicans use a loophole to vote without Democrats, and Sam Bee gets a taste of what it's like to live the teacher's dream. (6:26)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

TIME TO CHECK IN ONCE AGAIN ON

THE FAST-CHANGING SITUATION IN

WISCONSIN.

THREE WEEKS INTO A SEEMINGLY

ENDLESS STANDOFF BETWEEN

WISCONSIN GOVERNOR WALKER AND

STATE DEMOCRATIC SNEEFRTZ A NEW

LAW THAT WOULD STRIP TEACHERS

AND STATE WORKERS OF MOST OF

THEIR COLLECTIVE BARGAINING

RIGHTS, THE STANDOFF CAME ON 2

AN ABRUPT END.

DID THE AWOL SENATORS RETURN

HANDING THE GOVERNOR A VICTORY

AND QUORUM?

DID THE GOVERNOR CAVE AND

PROMISE TO REMOVE THE

RESTRICTIONS ON COLLECTIVE PRG

IN EXCHANGE FOR FINANCIAL

CONCESSIONS.

>> Reporter: THE REPUBLICANS

USED A LOOPHOLE THAT ALLOWED

THEM TO VOTE WITHOUT THE

DEMOCRATS.

>> Jon: THAT'S A LITTLE

EMBARRASSING.

IT'S LIKE SPENDING THREE WEEKS

PUSHING AGAINST THE DOOR UNTIL

FINALLY SOMEONE GOES, "DID YOU

TRY PULLING IT?"

( LAUGHTER )

NOT THAT THE DEMS WENT DOWN

WITHOUT A FIGHT-- OR SHOULD I

SAY THE DEM?

>> AND THAT IS WRONG.

NOW, I-- MR. CHAIRMAN, THIS IS A

VIOLATION OF LAW.

THIS IS NOT JUST A RULE.

IT'S A LAW.

>> ADJOURNED.

>> NO, MR. CHAIRMAN, THIS IS A

VIOLATION OF THE OPEN MEETINGS

LAW.

IT REQUIRES 24-- AT LEAST TWO

HOURS' NOTICE.

>> WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WHAT HAVE

YOU DONE?

>> EXCUSE ME.

>> Jon: MR. CHAIRMAN!

( LAUGHTER )

WHERE IS EVERYBODY GOING?

I'M STILL HOLDING PAPERS.

I GOTTA SAY THAT'S SORT OF

IMPRESSIVE HOW POLITE

WISCONSINITES REMAIN IN FACE OF

EXPLOSIVE SITUATION.

SERIOUSLY, THEY FUMBLE YOUR

ORDER IN A NEW YORK CITY

STARBUCKS AND WATCH HOW QUICKLY

( BLEEP ) HITS THE FAN THERE.

MEANWHILE, THE REAL VILLAINS IN

THIS ENTIRE SITUATION THE

TEACHERS, THE GREEDY,

CHALK-DUSTED SUCK YOU BY, WHO SO

CAVALIERLY DRAINED WISCONSIN AND

AMERICA DRY, AND CONTINUE TO

LAUGH IN OUR FACES.

>> IT'S NO SECRET THAT TEACHERS

HAVE IT MADE.

>> THE AVERAGE TEACHER'S SALARY

IS MUCH GREATER THAN THE AVERAGE

PRIVATE SECTOR SALARY.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> $51,000 IN WISCONSIN.

>> THEY'RE BEING PAID VERY WELL.

>> LAVISH, WITH A CAPICAL "L"

BENEFIT.

>> AND IT'S A PART-TIME JOB.

THEY'RE DONE AT 2:30.

>> AND YOU'RE GO B TO GET A

TASTE OF WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE

THE DREAM.

TODAY, WE'RE KICKING IT WITH A

MOTHER OF TWO, THIRD-GRADE

TEACHER STRAIGHT UP IN THE

SUBURBS.

>> HI, I'M BETH HENRY.

>> AND WE'LL CHECK OUT A

51-YEAR-OLD SPECIAL ED.

>> HI, I'M BARBARA KAY.

WELCOME TO MY APARTMENT.

>> OH, MY GOD!

WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

A BED.

RIGHT IN THE FOYER.

YOU GOT A TOP SHEET AND A BOTTOM

SHEET?

>> I DO.

♪ MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

SAY IT.

>> KAZAM!

>>

♪ MONEY, MONEY, MONEY ♪ ♪

>> SHOW ME EVERYTHING.

>> WELL, OBVIOUSLY, THIS IS A

LIVING ROOM?

>>.

>> HU.

>> KITCHEN.

>> UH-HUH, AND THE BATHROOM IS

OFF THE KITCHEN.

♪ MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

IF YOU'RE BROKER I'M SORRY ♪ ♪

>> WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY, MRS. H.?

>> LOOK AT ALL THESE TOYS AND

GAMES.

WHERE AM I, THE NEVERLAND RANCH?

BALLPARK IT FOR ME.

LIKE $20.

>> $20,000.

>> THAT OTHER ONE.

>> WELL, IT'S A HYUNDAI.

IT'S A SANTA FE.

>> YO, I GOTTA GET A REWIND ON

THAT.

WOW.

CLOTHES.

>> I'LL DO IT.

>> OOH, WHAT'S THIS, SOME FANCY

JAPANESE KIND OF COUCH?

IF YOU TON.

FUTON.

I'M SORRY, WHERE'S YOUR TV.

>> I DON'T HAVE A TV.

>> STARING AT THE WALLS.

>> I GET UP AT 4:30, FOUR, FOUR,

4:30.

I WORK FROM 8:00 UNTIL 2:47.

>> AFTERNOONS OFF!

>> THEN I WORK A SECOND JOB.

>> IT'S OBVIOUSLY A ROOM FOR

YOUR CAT.

>> UHM, NO, IT'S MY OLDER

DAUGHTER'S BEDROOM.

>> OH, MY GOD, YOU HAVE A CHILD.

>> TWO GIRLS.

>> WHERE DID YOU BUY THEM FROM?

>> NO, I-- I HAD THEM.

>> OR YOU HAD THEM WITH YOUR

BODY?

>>.

>> HU.

>> OH, MY GOD, THAT IS SO

TRENDY.

SHOW ME YOUR GAME ROOM.

>> WE DON'T HAVE A GAME ROOM.

>> HUMIDOR?

>> NO, WE DON'T HAVE THAT.

>> OOH, THIS IS NICE.

>> WHAT ARE WE DOING?

>> MAXIN AND RELAXIN.

WE SHOULD GET SOME CHAMPAGNE AND

LIKE, RUB IT ALL OVER OUR BOOBS

AND STUFF.

I WAS REALLY EXPECTING TO FIND

ALL THIS SUPER-FANCY TEACHER

STUFF, AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE,

LIKE, A DISH WASHER.

>> OH, I WOULD WANT A DISH

WASHER BUT ON A TEACHER'S SALARY

I CAN'T AFFORD A DISH WASHER.

>> ARE YOU JEALOUS YET.

MRS. H. IS ABOUT TO DROP SOME

KNOWLEDGE.

>> I THINK A LOT OF THE TIME IT

FEELS LIKE A THANKLESS JOB.

PEOPLE THINK OUR DAY ENDS AT

3:00, AND THAT'S NOT THE CASE.

WE FEEL UNAPPRECIATED.

>> SO THAT'S THE APARTMENT.

THANKS FOR COMING.

AND IT'S TIME TO GO.

>> THANK YOU.

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