Poor-Off

  • Aired:  06/24/14
  •  | Views: 91,040

As campaign season warms up, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden attempt to appeal to blue-collar voters by sharing their financial woes. (4:49)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK. SO, DO YOUREMEMBER A TIME, DO YOU

REMEMBER A TIME WHEN BARACKOBAMA WAS BUT A NAIVE YOUNG

PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE,AND HE SAID WORKING CLASS VOTERS

IN THE MIDWEST WERE CLINGING TOTHEIR GUNS AND RELIGION.

NOW, THE AMERICAN PEOPLEPUNISHED HIM BY ELECTING

HIM TO TWO TERMS AS PRESIDENTOF THE UNITED STATES.

CAUSE THAT AIN'T FUN. WELL THEDEMOCRATIC FRONT-RUNNERS

FOR 2016 AREN'T GOING TO MAKETHAT MISTAKE.

>> I DO NOT BELIEVE OUR GREATCOUNTRY SHOULD BE PLAYING MINOR

LEAGUE BALL.

WE'RE THE FORCE FOR PROGRESS,PROSPERITY AND PEACE.

>> SHE WAS ASKED ABOUT THE BOOKTHAT MADE HER WHO SHE IS TODAY.

AND HER ANSWER WAS THE BIBLE.

>> Jon: OH MY GOD, DID SHE JUSTTHREATEN TO SMITE HER ENEMIES?

HILLARY'S CLINGING TO RELIGIONWHO WILL CLING TO GUNS?

>> IF YOU WANT TO PROTECTYOURSELF, GET A DOUBLE-BARREL

SHOTGUN.

IF THERE IS EVER A PROBLEM,JUST WALK OUT ON THE BALCONY

HERE, FIRE TWO BLASTSOUTSIDE THE HOUSE.

BUY A SHOT GUN.

BUY A SHOTGUN.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: MY FAVORITE PART OF

THAT IS THE DUDE SITTING NEXT TOHIM LIKE, HOLY [BLEEPED].

I WANT YOU TO CALL SHOTGUN WHILESHOTGUNNING A BEER ON THE WAY TO

YOUR SHOTGUN WEDDING.

THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE SHOTGUNS.

SO COME ON DOWN TO CRAZY JOEY'SSHOTGUN EMPORIUM.

CLEARLY THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TOSETTLE WHICH DEMOCRATIC

CANDIDATE CAN APPEAL BEST TOTRADITIONAL BLUE COLLAR REAGAN

DEMOCRAT VOTERS. LOOKS LIKEWE NEED OURSELVES

A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED POOR-OFF.I RECKON IT'S TIME FIND OUT

WHICH OF THESE TWO IS JUSTMORE PLAIN FOLK.

MADAM SECRETARY...

>> WE CAME OUT OF THE WHITEHOUSE NOT ONLY DEAD BROKE, BUT

IN DEBT.

>> I STILL GET EMOTIONAL JUSTTHINKING ABOUT IT.

[APPLAUSE]WELL PLAYED, MRS. CLINTON, BUT

IF I KNOW JOE BIDEN, YOU JUSTBROUGHT A $100 BILL TO A LOOSE

CHANGE FIGHT.

>> HE'S VICE PRESIDENT OF THEUNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

HE MAKES, NOTWITHSTANDING,HE'S LISTED AS THE POOREST MAN

IN CONGRESS.

>> Jon: HOW POOR IS BIDEN? CAN'T EVEN AFFORD A FIRST-PERSON

PRONOUN. THAT'S HOW POOR HEIS.

YOUR MOVE, MADAM SECRETARY.

>> WE HAD NO MONEYWHEN WE GOT THERE, AND

WE STRUGGLED TO, YOU KNOW,PIECE TOGETHER THE RESOURCES FOR

MORTGAGES FOR HOUSES.

>> Jon: YEAH, WHEN YOU'REAPPEALING TO THE MIDDLE CLASS,

YOU MAY WANT TO USE THE SINGULARWHEN REFERRING TO THE

MOST VALUABLE ASSET MOST PEOPLEWILL EVER COME IN CONTACT WITH.

BIDEN I SEE AN OPENING.

>> FOR 36 YEARS I COMMUTED FROMWASHINGTON, D.C., TO WILMINGTON

ROUND TRIP EVERY DAY.

DON'T HOLD IT AGAINST ME THAT IDON'T OWN A SINGLE STOCK OR

BOND.

DON'T HOLD IT, I HAVE NO SAVINGSACCOUNT.

>> Jon: DON'T HOLD IT AGAINSTME, BUT MY CLOTHES ARE MADE OF

OLD CURTAINS.

[LAUGHTER]DON'T HOLD IT AGAINST ME, BUT I

[BLEEPED] IN A BUCKET OUTSIDE.

[LAUGHTER]TOP, THAT SECRETARY CLINTON.

TOP IT.

>> THE BRITISH NEWSPAPER THE"GUARDIAN" HAD ASKED MRS.

CLINTON IF SHE COULD BE ACREDIBLE CHAMPION FOR

FIGHTING INCOME INEQUALITYDESPITE HER WEALTH.

MRS. CLINTON SAYS, "THEY DON'TSEE ME AS PART OF THE PROBLEM

BECAUSE WE PAY ORDINARY INCOMETAX, UNLIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO

ARE TRULY WELL OFF, NOT TONAME NAMES."

>> Jon: I THINK WE KNOW WHOSHE'S TALKING ABOUT, BECKY FROM

CAMP, ALWAYS CHEATING ATDODGEBALL AND TAXES.

IT'S ANOTHER BOLD ATTEMPT,BUT I'M AFRAID THAT ONCE AGAIN

YOU'RE SIMPLY NO MATCH FORJOE I'M ALLERGIC TO MONEY

BIDEN, ALTHOUGH HIS I DON'T HAVEANY STOCKS STORY DOES

HAVE A BIT OF A HOLE IN IT.

>> WELL, ACCORDING TODISCLOSURE FORMS, BIDEN

DOES HAVE SOME MONEY IN SAVINGSAND INVESTMENTS.

>> HIS OFFICE SAYS THE VICEPRESIDENT WAS TELLING THE TRUTH

BECAUSE THE INVESTMENTS BELONGTO HIS WIFE.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: HOLD ON.

I'M HOMELESS.

I HAPPEN TO STAY IN MANSIONBELONGING TO MY LOVELY BRIDE.

KIND OF LIKE THE KING OFENGLAND.

WHAT'S WITH THE POVERTYTOURETTE'S?

WHY DO THESE TWO SEEM TO THINKWE NEED A HOBO FOR PRESIDENT?

OWN WHAT YOU HAVE, IT'S FINE.AND MORE IMPORTANTLY,

WHY DO YOU THINK WE'LL BELIEVETHEM? I MEAN, BOTH OF YOU GUYS

HAVE HAD YOUR FACES ONBOOK COVERS, BOOKS WRITTEN BY

THEM ABOUT THEM.

THAT USUALLY MEANS YOU'RE DOINGPRETTY GOOD.

>> HIS MEMOIR "PROMISES TOKEEP," EARNED LESS THAN $201 IN

ROYALTIES LAST YEAR.

>> Jon: ON SECOND THOUGHT, I'MNOT SURE HOW THIS GUY AFFORDS A

BUCKET TO [BLEEPED] IN.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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