Spamalot

  • Aired:  04/05/12
  •  | Views: 14,328

Tenth-level techno e-wizard Barack Obama doesn't need to address e-mails with "Hey" to be cool -- he's the president, that's pretty f**king cool. (4:50)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

SOCIAL MEDIA, THE PHRASE ABOUT A THING, PEOPLE EVERYWHERE ARE TALKING ABOUT ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

AND IT'S SOMETHING OUR PRESIDENT IS KNOWN TO EXCEL AT.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS THE RINGLEADER WHEN IT CAME TO SOCIAL MEDIA AND ENGAGING

THOSE YOUNG VOTERS, IS HE STILL THE KING.

>> MR. OBAMA PIONEERED THE PRESIDENT'S USE OF SOCIAL MEDIA.

>> OBAMA DURING THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN USED SOCIAL MEDIA VERY, VERY WELL.

THEY RAISED A LOT OF MONEY ON-LINE.

>> HE IS OUR FIRST SOCIAL MEDIA PRESIDENT.

HE HAS CONNECTED WITH SUPPORTERS ON FACEBOOK,

TWITTER AND TUMBLER AND IS NOW ON INSTAGRAM.

>> Jon: WOW, OH MY GOD.

HE WASTES A LOT OF TIME ON

[BLEEP].

(LAUGHTER) MR. PRESIDENT, THE RUSSIANS ARE ON THE LINE.

>> SH, I'M A CHECK IN AWAY FROM BEING THE MAYOR OF WHITE HOUSE ON FOUR SQUARE.

AND THEN IT'S ON TO THE CINNAMON CHALLENGE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS EITHER.

DON'T-- ALL RIGHT.

THIS PRESIDENT IS 1/10 LEVEL TECHNO E WIZARD.

AND THAT IS WHY ON BEHALF OF MYSELF AND ANY LIKE-MINDED INDIVIDUALS OUT THERE I

WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO THE PRESIDENT, STOP IT.

(LAUGHTER) OR IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE THE TECHNOLOGY, I ASK ONLY THAT YOU NOT HAVE TO TAKE ON

THE PERSONA OF THE MEDIAN AGE OF THE TECHNOLOGY'S OTHER USERS.

FOR INSTANCE, I RECEIVED SOME OF YOUR CAMPAIGN E-MAILS.

I HAPPEN TO GET E-MAILS FROM ALL THE CAMPAIGNS.

AND THE ONES FROM BARACK OBAMA HAVE THE SUBJECT LINE "HEY, THIS IS WRONG"

YOU DON'T NEED TO ADDRESS ANYONE AS "HEY" TO BE COOL.

YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT.

THAT'S PRETTY [BLEEP] COOL.

WHEN AN E-MAIL IS FROM YOU THE SUBJECT LINE SHOULD PRETTY MUCH JUST BE "FROM

THE PRESIDENT" ME.

YOU DON'T NEED TO RESORT TO THE KINDS OF FAKE,

FAMILIARITY THAT IS LIKE SPAMERS USE TO GET ME TO BUY AN iPHONE 6.

IT'S NOT A REAL iPHONE.

AND SECOND, EVERY TIME I OPEN THOSE SUPERCASUAL BRO-MAILS, THE MESSAGE IS ALWAYS THE SAME.

GIVE ME MONEY.

EVERY TIME.

IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN REALLY VALUE OUR MAKE BELIEVE FRIENDSHIP.

SERIOUSLY THERE ARE EXILED NIGERIAN PRINCES GETTING OBAMA CAMPAIGN E-MAILS GOING,

EASE UP ON THE MONEY THING,

FELLOW.

BUT GETTING DOZENS OF HOW IS IT HANGING FROM YOU IS RUINING MY ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP.

NOW WHEN ANYONE E-MAILS ME JUST TO SAY "HEY" I'VE BEEN

TRAINED PAVLOV'S DOG STYLE TO ASSUME THAT THEY'RE REALLY JUST ASKING ME FOR $75.

DENNIS LEARY TELLS ME SUBJECT LINE GO [BLEEP]

MYSELF, I WON'T KNOW IF HE REALLY MEANS IT, EVEN WHEN HE TELLS ME REALLY MEANS IT.

(LAUGHTER) STILL GOING TO BE THINKING SOME WITH IN THERE HE'S JUST LOOKING FOR $75 BUCKS.

MY POINT IS I WOULD MIND IT LESS IF YOUR CAMPAIGN SOLICITATION E-MAILS WERE

SUBJECT LINE GIVE ME MONEY.

THEN I WOULD KNOW THE PARAMETERS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE." DINNER?

"AND" JOHN?

"CAN WE MEET FOR DIFFERENT.

OKAY.

I WILL MAKE A COUPLE OF BURGERS, IT WILL BE ALL GOOD.

THEN A FEW DAYS LATER IT'S I'M BRINGING MICHELLE.

AND I'M LIKE OH, GREAT, NOW THEY HAVE TO BE GRASS FED LOCALLY SOURCED BURGERS.

AND NOW THAT THERE ARE THREE OF US THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BE SLIDERS BECAUSE I

DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BURGER.

MEANWHILE THE PRESIDENT AND I ARE DEVELOPING OUR RELATIONSHIP HIS WIFE IS

E-MAILING ME ON THE DL, ME AGAIN.

AND I LOVE YOU BACK.

LADY, YOUR HUSBAND'S GOING TO BE HERE IN LIKE AN HOUR.

AND THEN COMES THE KICKER,

ME, BARAK AND YOU?

NO!

OKAY!

BUT WE HAVE TO ESTABLISH SOME GROUND RULES.

FIRST OF ALL, DON'T POST ANY OF THESE PICTURES ON WHAT WAS THAT INSTA-GRAM.

HMMMM.

I WILL SAY I ONCE DID RECEIVE ONE OF THESE CASUALLY SUBJECTED POLITICAL E-MAILS THAT I DID ENJOY.

IT CAME FROM A DIFFERENT CAMPAIGN.

WE SIGN UP FOR ALL OF THEM SO WE CAN PRETEND WE'RE POPULAR.

THIS ONE CAME FROM MARCUS BACHMANN, THE FAMOUSLY FLAMBOYANT RUNNER OF THE CLINICS AND MICHELE

BACHMANN'S HUSBAND, THE SUBJECT LINE OF THE E-MAIL,

I SWEAR TO YOU," SHH, DON'T TELL MICHELE ".

THAT IS AN INTRIGUING E-MAIL.

I DIDN'T CLICK ON IT BUT ALL I CAN SAY IS THIS DON'T WORRY GIRLFRIEND, SHE

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