Drink Different - Pick Your Poison

  • Aired:  05/31/12
  •  | Views: 69,225

Michael Bloomberg proposes a super-sizedsugary drinks ban, but ignores the real reason for New York City's collective weight gain in recent decades. (5:07)

THAT, MICHAEL BLOCKBERG.

STILL THE LARGER POINT REMAIN, THE SODA BAN SAY TERRIBLE IDEA.

NOBODY IS GOING TO BE DOWN WITH IT.

>> I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

TO ANYONE THINKS YOUR KIDS SHOULD DRINK THIS ENTIRE THING.

>> NO.

>> IN THE COURSE OF THE DAY.

>> NO, YOU SOLVE OBESITY,

HEALTH CARE, IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

>> Jon: MORNING JOE?

YOU'RE SPONSORED BY STARBUCKS.

YOU REALIZE YOUR PERSONAL SPONSOR OF BEVERAGES ARE PRETTY MUCH INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE

BAEFERJS YOU WANT OUTLAWED.

LADY, PLEASE, STEP AWAY FROM THE BEVERAGE, LADY, STEP AWAY MI ALL FOR PROMOTING

PUBLIC HEALTH BUT MR. MAYOR,

THIS PLAN MAKES YOUR ASSININIE LOOK BIG.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHTMENT AS A KNOCKER I CAN GO ON MY LUNCH BREAK TO, I DON'T KNOW,

CARNEGIE DELI AND ORDER 14 POUNDS OF PASTRAMI GARNISHED WITH 7 POUNDS OF BEEF TONGUE

AND NOT ON WON'T THE DELI GUY GO WHAT?

THAT'S THE MOST RIDICULOUS SELF-DESTRUCTIVE THING A PERSON COULD EVER ORDER.

THE DELI GUY WILL GO OH, YOU WANT THE MANDY PATNEKI, S.

AND IF I WANT TO SPLIT THE THIS THIS SAND WATCH WITH SOMEONE IT'S AN EXTRA THREE BUCKS.

BY THE WAY, THE MEAT DOES COME WITH TWO PIECES OF RYE BREAD, BECAUSE KNOW, IT'S A SANDWICH.

IT'S MORE LIKE EATING A COW WITH A RYE BREAD YALMAKLE.

THEN GI TO RIGHT OVER TO HOOTERS FOR A QUICK BASKET OF CHICKEN WINGS BATTERED

DEEP FRIED AND TOSSED IN HOT SAUCE AND MELTED BUTTER SERVED WITH A BOWL OF CHEESE,

TOP IT ALL OFF WITH A LITTLE BIT OF FROZEN HOT CHOCOLATE FROM SERENDIPITY, ALL OF

THIS IS LEGAL IN NEW YORK CITY!

UNTIL GOD FORBID, I WANT A WASH IT DOWN WITH A LITTLE SOMETHING AS PURE AND

REFRESHING AS MOUNTAIN DEW!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) AH, OH NO, I'M ON THE RUN FROM JOHNNY LAW!

(LAUGHTER)

[BLEEP] THIS IS LEGAL UNTIL IT MELTS.

AND WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT SLURPEES?

WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT SLURPEES, HUH?

A DRINK THAT LIVES IN THE NETHER WORLD BETWIXT PHYSICAL STATES.

IS IT A SOLID, A LIQUID,

ULTIMATELY A GAS?

OH, BUT THAT'S RIGHT THE SLURPEE IS FINE BECAUSE THEY'RE SOLD IN CONVENIENCE

STORES AND THAT'S NOT REGULATED BECAUSE-- IT'S MAGIC.

LOOK, MR. MAYOR, I KNOW YOU CAN BE INTIMIDATED BY THESE LARGE SIZE DRINKSMENT YOU

AND RI BOTH, LET'S FACE IT,

SMALL.

WE MIGHT SEE A GENEROUSLY PROPORTIONED SUGARED BEVERAGE AND THINK OF IT AS A DROWNING HAZARD.

(LAUGHTER) BUT IT'S NOT FAIR!

IT'S NOT FAIR!

MR. MOON BLOOMBERG, FOR PEOPLE LIKE US, WE, THE WEE PEOPLE WHOSE THIRST ASK BE

STATED BY A MERE THIMBLE CUP OF JUICE OR THE DEW FROM AN ELM LEAF-- (LAUGHTER)

BUT YOU AND I MUST COEXIST IN A CITY THAT ALSO INCLUDES PEOPLE LIKE 7 FOOT 1 INCH

KNICKS CENTER TYSON CHANDLER.

A 16 OUNCE SODA FOR HIM IS LIKE AN EYE DROP NEVER A BABY BIRD'S MOUTH.

SURE F WE WERE NURSING HIM BACK TO HEALTH IN A SHOE BOX THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH.

AND BY THE WAY, YOU MAYORS ARE THE ONE WAS GOT US IN THIS OBESITY MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

REMEMBER NEW YORK IN THE 70s.

TIMES SQUARE, STRIP CLUBS,

PIMPS, HOOKER, SLASHERS,

SMACK ADDICTSING DRUG DEALERS.

YOU NAME IT, WE HAD THEM AND LOOK AT US, WE LOOKED GREAT!

SO IS A VELT.

AND THEN MAYOR GIULIANI HAD TO CLEAN THE PLACE UP.

WELL, GUESS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GO IN AND REPLACE STRIP CLUBS AND PORN

THEATRES WITH THE BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP COMPANY, THE UNLIMITED BREAD STICK MECCA

KNOWN AS THE OLIVE GARDEN AND MY FAVORITE ONE, THE M & M STORE.

LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.

WHY THE [BLEEP] IS THERE A STORE THAT SELLS NOTHING BUT M & Ms.

THIS IS NEW YORK, YOU CAN BUY M & Ms IN ANY STORE.

WHY DOW NEED A STORE THAT IS ALL JUST M AMP Ms.

AND I WANT TO OPEN BE ALL TODAY WORLD ON 34s AND 88.

MR. MAYOR, PICK YOUR POISON.

OBESITY IS THE PROBLEM NOW?

FINE, I THINK I KNOW HOW TO SOLVE IT.

REINTRODUCE CRACK.

IT MAY BE WHACK, BUT WHEN THAT WEIGHT COMES OFF, IT STAYS OFF.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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