Back in Black - The Moocher Class

  • Aired:  04/16/13
  •  | Views: 61,728

Lewis Black learns that the moocher poor should pay their fair share -- just so long as it doesn't involve taxes on cigarettes, soda or guns. (3:50)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Jon: HEY, WELCOME BACK.

LEWIS BLACK COMES ON FOR A

SEGMENT WE CALL "BACK IN BLACK."

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> THIS COUNTRY'S FINANCES ARE

IN THE DUMPS!

WE'RE OFFICIALLY POOR!

WHICH IS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE

GUESS WHO'S THE BLAME?

>> PEOPLE WHO ARE PERFECTLY

CONTENT TO LIVE AT THE EXPENSE

OF OTHERS, THE MOOCHER CLASS OUT

THERE.

>> I'M GETTING FOOD STAMPS, I'M

GETTING GOVERNMENT CHECKS, I'M

GOING TO SPEND IT ON WHATEVER I

WANT.

>> THE BOTTOM 50% HAVE NO SKIN

IN THE GAME.

>> YET THEY'RE BENEFITING FROM

THE COST TO GOVERNMENT THAT

OTHERS ARE PAYING FOR.

THAT'S SIMPLY NOT RIGHT.

>> KICK IN A BUCK.

>> KICK IN SOMETHING.

>> YEAH!

THE POOR ARE SO TIGHT FISTED

THOSE PRICKS!

KICK IN A BUCK!

BECAUSE WHAT PROBLEM CAN'T BE

SOLVED THE SAME WAY YOU ORGANIZE

A BEER RUN?

(LAUGHTER)

WELL, IF THEY'RE NOT GOING TO

KICK IN MONEY WE'RE GOING TO

HAVE TO RAISE IT SOMEHOW.

I GOT IT!

CIGARETTE TAX!

>> A VERY REGRESSIVE TAX.

IT WILL BE RAISED FROM CIGARETTE

SMOKERS WHO ARE

DISPROPORTIONATELY POOR AND

POORLY EDUCATED.

>> SO, THE RIGHT WANTS THE POOR

TO KICK IN, JUST NOT THEIR

CIGARETTE MONEY.

WHEN IT COMES TO COUGHING UP A

BUCK OR A LUNG, LUNG WINS.

(APPLAUSE)

THERE MUST BE SOME WAY TO

SEPARATE POOR PEOPLE FROM THEIR

HARD-MOOCHED MONEY.

>> THE TAX OF 1% PER OUNCE ON

SOFT DRINKS SWEETENED WITH SUGAR

COULD BE AN AMAZING SOURCE OF

REVENUE FOR HEALTH CARE REFORM.

>> PERFECT!

MAKE THOSE CIGARETTE-SMOKING

SODA-GUZZLING DUMMIES PAY FOR

THEIR OWN OBAMACARE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> THE NOTION THAT SODA IS BEING

PLACED ON A LIST OF SINS WORTHY

OF BEING TAXED INTO OBLIVION

WILL HURT MORE POOR PEOPLE THAN

ANYBODY ELSE.

>> YES.

CONSERVATIVES WILL FIGHT FOR THE

POOR'S RIGHT TO SEE THE ONLY

DOCTOR WHO DOESN'T MAKE YOU

HEALTHIER!

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

SO WE CAN'T TAX CIGARETTES OR

SODA.

GUNS?

>> I'M WORRIED THAT PARTICULARLY

POOR PEOPLE, THE ONES WHO ARE

MOST LIKELY TO BE VICTIMS OF

VIOLENT CRIMES, PARTICULARLY

POOR BLACKS IN HIGH-CRIME URBAN

AREAS ARE GOING TO BE PRICED OUT

OF BEING ABLE TO OWN A GUN.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

>> YES!

THE CITIZENS OF POOR AREAS IN

AMERICA TODAY SUFFER GREATLY

FROM THE SCOURGE OF GUN STICKER

SHOCK.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU'RE BLEEDING THEM DRY-- OF

THEIR MONEY!

WHY DOES THE GOVERNMENT WANT TO

TAX THESE THINGS ANYWAY?

WHAT ARE THEY GONNA USE ALL THAT

MONEY FOR?

>> PART OF PRESIDENT OBAMA'S

SIGNATURE HEALTH CARE PLAN BE

PAID FOR IN PART WITH MONEY FROM

A SUGARY DRINK EXCISE TAX.

>> UNIVERSAL BACKGROUND CHECKS.

>> THAT WOULD PAY FOR POLICE.

THAT WOULD PAY FOR PUBLIC SAFETY

PROGRAMS.

>> UNIVERSAL PRE-K WILL BE PAID

FOR BY A CIGARETTE TAX.

>> SMOKING TO SUPPORT EDUCATION?

THAT MEANS I CAN START MY OWN

CHARTER SCHOOL!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

GO FIGHTING -- (COUGHING)

(LAUGHTER)

SO IF WE RAISE TAXES, IT HURTS

THE POOR.

IF WE DON'T RAISE TAXES, IT

HURTS THE POOR.

I THINK WE ONLY HAVE ONE OPTION

HERE.

(BLEEP) THE POOR!

(LAUGHTER)

WE'VE LEARNED SO MUCH FROM THE

ROMANS.

JON?

>> Jon: THANK YOU, LEWIS.

LEWIS BLACK, EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT

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