Shutstorm 2013: America Sits on Its Balls - Bias on Bulls**t Mountain

  • Aired:  10/03/13
  •  | Views: 360,493

Could there be a higher octane fuel for the Fox News false outrage exploitation engine than wheelchair-bound World War II veterans? (6:19)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILY

SHOW, MY NAME IS JONSTEWART.

WE HAVE A GOOD ONE FOR YOUTONIGHT.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT THE LOVELYAND TALENTED KERRY

WASHINGTON, THE STAR OFSCANDAL, THE SHOW ABOUT A

TEAM, THEY LOVE THE SCANDAL.

AS MANY OF THEM KNOW, A SHOWABOUT A TEAM OF COMPETENT

PROFESSIONALS IN OURNATION'S CAPITOL.

IT'S-- FICTION.

I GUESS OBVIOUSLY WE'REGOING TO BEGIN TONIGHT AS

WE HAVE BEGUN FOR THE PASTTHREE NIGHTS.

WITH OUR CONTINUING COVERAGEOF-- SHUTSTORM 2013!

WITH OUR CONTINUING COVERAGEOF-- SHUTSTORM 2013!

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, IN THEPAST FEW DAYS YOU MAY HAVE

DEVELOPED AN IMPRESSION THATNOTHING WORKS ANY MORE, NOT

ONLY THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWNBUT THE HEALTH CARE

EXCHANGES THAT SHE SHUTDOWNWAS SUPPOSED TO

PREVENT ARE ALSO, WELL,SHUTDOWN.

BUT I'M PLEASED TO REPORTTHERE IS ONE ORGANIZATION

CURRENTLY WORKING AT PEAKEFFICIENCY, LOCATED IN A

SMALL HAMLET AND THAT PLACEIS KNOWN AS BULL [BLEEP]

MOUNTAIN.

SEE, OVER ON BULL [BLEEP]MOUNTAIN THEY-- OH.

I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT HADCOME UP.

OVER ON BULL [BLEEP]MOUNTAIN THEY REALIZE THAT

THIS SHUTDOWN AIN'T LOOKINGSO HOT FOR ONE PARTICULAR

POLITICAL PARTY.

>> ACCORDING TO THE MEDIARESEARCH CENTER NETWORK

EVENING NEWS STORIES OVERTHE LAST TWO WEEKS HAVE

BLAMED THE GOP 21 TIMES ANDBLAMED DEMOCRATS NONE.

>> Jon: AND THEY'RE ALSOBLAMING FLOODS ON WATER.

NOT FIRE.

AND SUNSETS ON THE ROTATIONOF THE EARTH, NOT GIANT

FEATHERED SERPENTS WHO DEVOURTHE SUN AT

NIGHT.

YES, IT APPEARS DURING THESHUTDOWN FACTS ARE

MATTERING.

WELL, WE CAN'T HAVE THAT.

TO THE BULL [BLEEP]-NATOR.

>> WE ARE SEEING FIRSTHANDTHE DEVASTATING IMPACT THIS

LIBERAL SHUTDOWN ISHAVING-- .

>> Jon: LIBERAL SHUTDOWN,HMMMM.

THE FECES IS STRONG IN THISONE.

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, SHUTDOWN

RELABELED.

>> VETERANS HAD TO MOVEBARRICADES TO GAIN ACCESS TO

THE WORLD WAR II MEMORIAL INOUR NATION'S CAPITOL.

>> THE PRESIDENT, DEMOCRATSINSISTING ON CLOSING

MEMORIALS TO THE PUBLIC.

>> THE DEMOCRATS, PRESIDENTOBAMA, THIS WHITE HOUSE HAVE

DENIED THESE VETS ACCESS.

THEY HAVE SHUT DOWN THESENATIONAL PARKS.

THEY ARE DOING IT ALLDELIBERATELY TO INFLICT

MAXIMUM PAIN ON THE AMERICANPEOPLE.

>> Jon: YEAH, OF COURSE THEYARE.

COULD THERE BE A HIGHEROCTANE FUEL FOR FOX NEWS

FALSE OUTRAGE EXPLOITATIONENGINE THAN WHEEL-CHAIR

BOUND WORLD WAR II VETERANS.

THERE IS-- MAYBE A FETUSTHAT OWNS A SMALL BUSINESS

AND THAT SMALL BUSINESSMAKES MERRY CHRISTMAS MUZZLE

COZIES.

THAT WOULD BE THE ONLYOUTRAGE.

THEY WILL STORM THEBARRICADES TO MAKE SURE

THESE MAYBE 100 VETERANS GETINTO THE MEMORIAL WHILE

FORGETTING IT'S THEIR ALLIESASSANINE BUDGET SHENANIGANS

THAT NOT ONLY SHUT IT IN THEFIRST PLACE BUT ALSO PUT

MEALS ON WHEELS AT RISK, APROGRAM THAT SERVES MEALS TO

OVER 500,000 VETERANS AYEAR.

SO UNLESS THAT WORLD WAR IIMEMORIAL IS MADE OF FOOD--

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: NOTE TO SELF.

(LAUGHTER) THAT ELIMINATES THE NEED

FOR THE SEPARATE SNACK BAR.

THAT'S WHY-- (LAUGHTER)

OUTRAGE FROM BULL [BLEEP]MOUNTAIN CAN ALMOST NEVER BE

TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

>> GOVERNMENT IS NOT THESOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM,

GOVERNMENT IS THE PROBLEM.

>> GOVERNMENT CONTROL HURTSTHOSE STRUGGLING TO ACHIEVE

THE AMERICAN DREAM.

>> IT IS LONG OVERDUE FORTHE GOVERNMENT TO GET OUT OF

THE WAY.

>> MAKE GOVERNMENT SMALLER.

>> THE BEST GOVERNMENT ISTHE SMALLEST GOVERNMENT.

>> GET GOVERNMENT OUT OF OURLIVES.

GET THE GOVERNMENT OUT OFOUR LIVES.

>> GET GOVERNMENT OFF OF OURBACKS.

>> WE WANT LESS GOVERNMENT.

>> IF ONLY THE FEDERALGOVERNMENT WOULD LEAVE US

ALONE.

>> Jon: I KNOW!

(LAUGHTER)SEE, YOU HATE THE

GOVERNMENT.

YET YOU WAIL LIKE BANSHEESIF ANY OF THE SERVICES AND

BENEFITS YOU LIKE ARE TAKENAWAY.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?

YOU'RE THE JERK.

>> I DON'T NEED THIS STUFF.

AND I DON'T NEED YOU.

I DON'T NEED ANYTHING.

EXCEPT THIS, THIS PADDLEGAME.

THE PADDLE GAME, THAT'S ALLI NEED.

AND THIS.

>> Jon: I DON'T NEED ANYGOVERNMENT, EXCEPT THESE

MEMORIALS, AND SOCIALSECURITY, AND THE PADDLE

GAME.

(APPLAUSE)>> Jon: AND THEN, IN THE

MIDDLE OF YOUR OUTRAGE ANDSADNESS OVER THE GOVERNMENT

SHUTDOWN, YOU'LL ALWAYS ENDUP GIVING AWAY THE BULL

[BLEEP] GAME.

>> WE'RE REALLY VERYENERGIZED TODAY, VERY

STRONG.

THIS IS ABOUT THE HAPPIESTI'VE SEEN MEMBERS IN A LONG

TIME.

>> YES, THERE IS JOY ON BULL[BLEEP] MOUNTAIN THIS DAY.

FOR THE GOVERNMENT IS SHUTAND THE PHOTO OPS BE

PLENTIFUL.

AND YOU ALMOST HAVE TOADMIRE HOW FULLY THEY CAN

COMMIT TO THEIR MEMES.

>> WE HAD A SPLITSCREEN THEREWITH BENGHAZI AND IT TURNS

OUT IT LOOKS AS IF MOREPERSONNEL WERE SENT INTO THE

WORLD WAR II MEMORIAL TOKEEP PEOPLE OUT THAN THE

STATE DEPARTMENT ACTUALLYSENT TO BENGHAZI.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'TBEEN A DIRECTOR FOR VERY

LONG AND I HATE TO CRITICIZEPERFORMANCES.

CERTAINLY DON'T WANT TO GIVEA LINE READING BUT I'M

PRETTY SURE THE NEWS FACEYOU WANT TO USE TO CONVEY

OUTRAGE AND CONCERN ISN'T[BLEEP] EATING GRIN.

(LAUGHTER)THE GRATUITOUS AND CAVALIER

NATURE OF THAT COMPARISONTRULY SHOWS HOW LITTLE THEY

ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT BENGHAZIEXCEPT AS A BEN-GOTCHA,

TRADEMARK, I'M GOING TOTRADEMARK THAT, YEAH, NICE.

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