Terror on Bulls#%t Mountain - Family First

  • Aired:  02/06/14
  •  | Views: 63,002

Family comes first with conservatives, except when it goes up against capitalism. (3:54)

YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT THESELAZY POORS, WHO HAVE BEEN SITTING AROUND

TWO JOBS, JUST

WAITING FOR THE DAYTHEY CAN RIDE THE UNCLE SUGAR

TRAIN TO MEDICAID TOWN ARE GOINGTO DO WITH THEIR NEW FOUND

WINDFALL.

>> OBAMACARE IS A DISINCENTIVE TO WORK.

THE CBO ADMITTED IT THIS AFTERNOON.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SPEND MORE TIME WITH THE FAMILY, LET

SOMEBODY ELSE WORK, YOU GO ON OBAMACARE, STAY HOME, SPEND MORE

TIME WITH THE FAMILY, LET SOMEBODY ELSE PAY FOR YOUR

HEALTH CARE, YEAH, SPEND TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY, HELP RAISE

YOUR CHILDREN IN A MORE HANDS ONFASHION, CREATE STABILITY.

WHAT THE HELL. YOU'RE CONSERVATIVES, I THOUGHT

YOU LOVED FAMILY.

>> FAMILY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT INSTITUTION IN SOCIETY.

>> GOOD CORE FAMILY UNIT.

>> PROTECTING THE FAMILY IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF

OUR AGENDA.

>> MOST IMPORTANT, FAMILY MUST BE PROTECTED FROM ASTEROIDS,NUCLEAR WEAPONS, DUDES IN LOVE.

THEY HAVE TO BE PROTECTED. NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, WHEN

FAMILY CLASHES WITH CAPITALISM AROUND THE HOLIDAYS,

CONSERVATIVES THROW FAMILY OVERBOARD, YO, CAPITALISM, GOT

YOUR BACK, BRO.

>> RETAILERS OPENING DOORS THIS THANK GIVING NOT EVEN WAITING

FOR BLACK FRIDAY.

>> FOR A LONG TIME I WORKED THE HOLIDAYS.

>> THAT'S THE WAY IT WORKED.

>> IF YOU'RE A RETAILER YOU OPENDOORS BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN PEOPLE

GO OUT, SPEND AND GUESS WHAT? IT'S NOT SO MUCH LIKE DITCHING

YOUR FAMILY. ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ISTO GO WITH THE

FAMILY, CREATE CAPITALISM, KEEP THE ECONOMY GOING.

>> HE'S RIGHT. SOME OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES AS A

CHILD WERE CREATING CAPITALISM WITH MY FATHER.

YOU KNOW, IT'S INTERESTING, I REMEMBER, HE USED TO COME IN TO

MY ROOM AND GO HEY, SON, WANT TOGO OUT AND CREATE CONSUMER

CONFIDENCE AND BRICKS AND MORTARRETAIL SECTOR OF THE ECONOMY?

YOU MEAN IT, POPS, YOU MEAN IT? I SURE DO, SON, GRAB SOME

LIQUIDITY AND MEET ME DOWNSTAIRS.

BY THE WAY, I'M NOT BANGING YOURNANNY.

I'M EXPLORING BURGEONING MARKETS.

AND THE CASH IN THE CRADLE AND THE SILVER SPOON.

WATCH THIS LEGO NEWS ANCHOR TRY AND TEACH HIS CO-HOST THE TRUE

MEANING OF THE HOLIDAYS.

>> I'M DOWN WITH THE CLOSING THESTORES ON THANKSGIVING.

IT'S ENOUGH ALREADY. I'M SERIOUS.

>> REALLY? SERIOUSLY?

>> WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED? >> FREE ENTERPRISE.

>> YOU KNOW, LOOK, PEOPLE SHOULDBE AT HOME WITH THEIR FAMILIES.

THAT'S MY LITTLE OPINION. I'M NOT THE LAW ON THIS.

>> OKAY, I WAS JUST THINKING OF CAPITALISM AND FREE MARKETS AND

LETTING PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY WANTTO DO.

>> SOMEHOW I THINK PEOPLE SHOULDSPEND THANKSGIVING WITH THEIR

FAMILIES TURNS IN TO I GUESS, IFYOU'RE A COMMUNIST.

BECAUSE APPARENTLY ON [BLEEP] MOUNTAIN CORPORATIONS AREN'T

JUST PEOPLE, THEY'RE BETTER PEOPLE THAN YOU.

CORPORATIONS ARE THE GOOD PEOPLE, NOT THE JACK ASS

TWO-LEGGED KIND WHO DON'T WANT TO MAN THE PERFUME COUNTER AT

MACY'S BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.

IT'S JUST LIKE THAT INSPIRING SCENE IN BRAVEHEART.

>> THEY CAN TAKE OUR LIVES BUT THEY CAN NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM

TO WORK AT BEST BUY OVER THE HOLIDAYS!

OVERTIME! WE'LLBE RIGHT BACK.

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