Good News! You're Not Paranoid - America Betrayed

  • Aired:  06/10/13
  •  | Views: 101,898

The Best F#@king News Team Ever investigates a scandal even more shocking than the NSA wiretapping controversy. (4:32)

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> WELCOME BACK.

THE STORY ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT

SURVEILLANCE OPERATION KEEPS

GETTING BIGGER.

WE HAVE FULL TEAM COVERAGE.

FIRST JASON JONES IS AT THE

NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY IN FORT

MEAD, MARYLAND.

JASON, HAVE YOU BEEN SURPRISED

BY WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON THE PAST

FEW DAYS.

>> THE SURPRISED, YES, QUITE

BLIND SIDED.

I'M NOT ALONE.

ALL OF AMERICA IS AGHAST RIGHT

NOW.

THEY CANNOT BELIEVE THEIR EYE.

>> AMERICANS FEEL LIKE THEY'VE

BEEN BETRAYED IN SOME WAY.

>> YEAH, YEAH, BETRAYED IS A

GOOD WORD FOR WHAT WE'RE FEELING

RIGHT NOW.

OKAY.

WE TRUSTED THE GUY IN CHARGE,

BELIEVED HIS PROMISES ABOUT

ADVANCEMENT, A CAREER

OPPORTUNITIES AND SENIORITY.

>> WAIT, WAIT.

WAIT.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

JASON, JASON, ARE YOU TALKING

ABOUT ME TAKING OVER THE SHOW?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TALKING

ABOUT?

>> I'M SORRY.

WHAT THE [BLEEP] ELSE WOULD I BE

TALKING ABOUT?

YOU JUST GO TO IRAN, THE BOSS

SAID.

RISK YOUR LIFE AND FREEDOM.

IT WILL PAY OFF DOWN THE ROAD.

TURNS OUT I SHOULD HAVE JUST

STAYED HERE SINGING [BLEEP]

CHIMNEY SWEEP SONGS.

>> JASON JONES.

LET'S GO TO IS A MAPT A BEE AT

GOOGLE HEADQUARTERS, ONE OF THE

COMPANIES BEING MONITORED.

>> JOHN, CAN I PLEASE APOLOGIZE

ON BEHALF OF JASON.

>> I APPRECIATE THAT.

IT'S FINE.

HAS GOOGLE ISSUED A STATEMENT?

>> LET ME PUT IT LIKE THIS.

(BRITISH) JONES AND THE PRIVACY

ACT AND THE CLIENTELE.

>> SAM, SAM.

SAM!

>> YES.

SORRY, GUV-NAH, WHAT?

>> DON'T SPEAK IN A BRITISH

ACCENT.

>> TEN YEARS I'VE BEEN HERE

TALKING AMERICAN ONLY TO BE LEAP

FROGGED BY A GOD FOR SAKEN

FOREIGNER.

>> OKAY, SAM, THANK YOU VERY

MUCH.

ANY CORRESPONDENT WHO HAS BEEN

HERE LESS TIME THAN I HAVE.

JESSICA LIVE IN THE CAPITAL.

JESS, TELL US ABOUT THE DAY'S

HEARINGS PLEASE?

>> I'M SORRY.

I'M HAVING TROUBLE HEARING YOU

OVER THIS GLASS CEILING.

OW!

AND IT'S UNBREAKABLE.

ALL I SEE UP THERE ARE A BUNCH

OF WHITE PENISES.

>> JOHN, JOHN.

YES.

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

AL MADRIGAL.

HEY, JOHN, I'M HERE IN HONG

KONG.

>> GOOD, HONG KONG WHERE OF

COURSE THE N.S.A. LEAKER EDWARD

SNOWDEN IS HIDING.

>> WHEN I HEARD SNOWDEN SAY HE

FLED TO HONG KONG BECAUSE OF ITS

TRADITION OF FREE SPEECH I

HOPPED ON THE PLANE FIGURING

THIS WOULD BE THE SAFEST PLACE

FOR ME WHEN I TOLD YOU TO GO

[BLEEP] YOURSELF.

>> OKAY.

AND I DON'T MEAN THAT

FIGURATIVELY.

I MEAN LITERALLY FIGURE OUT A

WAY, MAYBE THROUGH LIKE RUBBER

TUBING, MAYBE THROUGH A SYSTEM

OF WEIGHTS OR PULL EYES.

[BLEEP] JOHN!

JOHN!

>> YEAH.

EXCUSE ME, JOHN, JOHN!

I HAVE BREAKING NEWS.

AASIF MANDVI, HAVE A GO.

GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST.

>> JOHN, I'M HERE AT THE UTAH

SERVER FARM WHERE THE N.S.A.

COMBS THROUGH TERABYTES OF DATA

ON U.S. CITIZENS LOOKING FOR

PATTERNS.

>> ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO

FILE A REAL REPORT?

>> YES.

THAT'S MY JOB.

>> THAT'S FANTASTIC.

PLEASE, AASIF, CONTINUE.

>> OKAY.

WELL THE AGGREGATED DATA PAINTS

A CLEAR PICTURE OF WHAT A

TERRIBLE JOB YOU, JOHN OLIVER,

ARE DOING.

>> YOU CAN'T SAY THAT.

I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR SIX

MINUTES.

>> I KNOW.

I KNOW.

>> AND BUZZ FEED JUST POSTED THE

27 WORST MOMENTS OF JOHN

OLIVER'S FIRST SIX MINUTES.

OH, OH, OH, OH, WAIT, WAIT,

WAIT.

A NEW HASH TAG TRENDING.

JOHN OLIVER BLEW A GREAT DANE.

>> THAT CAN'T BE POSSIBLY

SOMETHING THAT IS TRENDING.

>> IT WASN'T BUT IT IS NOW.

SO YOU'RE WELCOME.

[BLEEP] YOU.

>> THANK YOU, THANKS,

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