Virginia Is Not for Lovers

  • Aired:  02/25/13
  •  | Views: 7,296

The lifting of a 136-year-old cohabitation law means unmarried men and women will once again terrorize Virginia with their private, behind-closed-doors relationships. (4:02)

(MUSIC).

THAT SOUNDED PRETTY GOOD, MAN.

WHAT'S NEXT ON THE SHOW?

>> THE COMMONWEALTH IS PREPARING TO REPEAL A 136-YEAR-OLD LAW THAT MAKES IT ILLEGAL FOR

UNMARRIED VIRGINIAN COUPLES TO LIVE TOGETHER.

>> Jon: DAMN YOU, SOUTH.

DO NOT MAKE ME [BLEEP] ON YOU.

SO YOU'RE SAYING VIRGINIA'S NOT REALLY FOR LOVERS?

NEXT YOU'LL TELL ME MICHIGAN'S NOT FOR BRINGING LEMONADE AND CONDOMS TO SOMEONE WHO TURNS OUT

TO BE NBC'S... WE'LL APOLOGIZE TOMORROW.

I GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT WHEN VIRGINIA PASSED THAT LAW IN TONIGHT'S EPISODE OF "19th

CENTURY NEWS." HELLO, EVERYBODY.

MY MOST HE'S TEEMED VIEWERS, 'TIS I YOUR HUMBLE HOST.

MY GUEST TONIGHT FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE.

SHE'S WRITTEN A NEW BOOK ON SOMETHING CALLED ANTISEPTICS AND THEIR ROLE IN FIGHTING DEADLY

INFECTIONS ON THE IRISH.

FIRST THE 1800s PEOPLE.

FIRST, A BRIEF WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR.

WHEN IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ANYWHERE 'TIL TUESDAY.

ANYWAY, OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT, VIRGINIA HAS BANNED LIVING IN SIN.

NO LONGER SHALL UNMARRIED MEN AND WOMEN TERRORIZE OUR GOOD STATE WITH THEIR PRIVATES BEHIND

CLOSED DOORS RELATIONSHIP.

IN TECHNOLOGY NEWS THERE'S A BRAND NEW LABOR SAVING DEVICE ON THE MARKET CALLED CHINESE PEOPLE.

CHINESE PEOPLE BECAUSE BUILDING A RAILROAD IS EXPENSIVE.

AND HARD.

WOW.

THAT SHOW IS SOMETHING.

ISN'T IT?

WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY IN THIS COUNTRY.

I CANNOT BELIEVE WE USED TO EXPLOIT CHINESE LABOR TO BUILD OUR TECHNOLOGY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OF COURSE, THAT VIRGINIA NO COHABITATION LAW PROBABLY HASN'T

BEEN ENFORCED FOR 100 YEARS

>> IT HASN'T BEEN ENFORCED APPARENTLY SINCE THE 1990s WHEN DAY CARE OPERATOR DARLENE

DAVIS HAD HER BUSINESS LICENSE HELD UP BECAUSE SHE WAS LIVING WITH HER MAN.

>> Jon: ARE YOU [BLEEP] KIDDING ME?

THEY HAD TO BE STOPPED?

MOST NORMAL STATES WOULD JUST BE HAPPY THEY FOUND EACH OTHER.

VIRGINIA, BUT THIS IS ONLY A START IN VIRGINIA'S EFFORT TO STAY CURRENT WITH THE LAST CENTURY.

>> THE STATUE HAS BEEN ONE OF THOSE LINGERING LEGAL CURIOSITIES LIKE THE LAW AGAINST

WASHING YOUR MULE ON THE SIDEWALK, NO HUNTING ON SUNDAYS AND OUR FAMOUS ANTI-SODOMY

STATUTE SNIEM YOUR FAMOUS ANTI-SODOMY STATUTE?

YOU TALK ABOUT THAT THE SAME WAY MASONS TALKED ABOUT THEIR HOT DOGS.

VIRGINIA, COME FOR THE BEACHES.

STAY BECAUSE WE INCARCERATED YOU FORGETTING A BLOW JOB.

AND THIS ISN'T THE FIRST VICTORY FOR THE STATE SENATOR WHO SPEARHEADED THE REPEAL ADAM EVAN

>> HE HAS TARGETED OLD LAWS BEFORE

>> I REPEALED THE LAW AGAINST SERVING SANGRIA ABOUT SIX YEARS AGO.

WE'RE WORKING AT THEM ONE AT A TIME.

>> Jon: WHY IS THAT GUY SO FAMILIAR?

WAIT A MINUTE.

IS THAT THE SAME THE SAME MAN OF THE SIDEWALK MULE WASHER STAND.

VIRGINIA, STOP THAT MAN.

WE'LL BE RIGHT

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