The Layover

  • Aired:  06/27/13
  •  | Views: 26,207

President Obama travels to Africa, and Vladimir Putin confirms that NSA leaker Edward Snowden is stuck in a Moscow airport. (3:56)

>> WELCOME BACK.

THE PRESIDENT IS IN AFRICA

AT THE MOMENT BECAUSE WHAT

BETTER PLACE TO CELEBRATE A

LANDMARK GAY RIGHTS RULING.

BUT HE COULDN'T ESCAPE

QUESTIONS ABOUT NSA LEAKER

EDWARD SNOWDEN.

>> MR. PRESIDENT, WILL YOU

USE U.S. PILL TEAR ASSETS TO

IN ANY WAY INTERCEPT

MR. SNOWDEN TO AT SOME POINT

IN THE FUTURE LEAVE RUSSIA

TO TRY TO FIND SAFE PASSAGE

IN ANOTHER COUNTRY?

>> NO, I'M TO THE GO

SCRAMBLING JETS TO GET A

29-YEAR-OLD HACKER.

>> AND WHY WOULD YOU?

29 IS PATHETICALLY OLD FOR A

HACKER.

IT'S LIKE A 50-YEAR-OLD

QUARTERBACK.

IT'S JUST SAD.

NOW A 15-YEAR-OLD HACKER,

THAT WOULD BE WORTH BREAKING

OUT A DRONE OR TWO FOR.

THOSE SCROFY LITTLE [BLEEP]

CAN SHUT DOWN THE COUNTRY

WITH A FLIP PHONE AND A

PAPER CLIP.

(APPLAUSE)

>> THEY'RE DANGEROUS.

OKAY.

SO WE'RE TO THE GOING TO

SCRAMBLE JETS TO GET HIM BUT

OUT OF INTEREST, WHERE IS

SNOWDEN RIGHT NOW?

>> RUSSIAN PRESIDENT

VLADIMIR PUTIN CONFIRMED FOR

THE FIRST TIME THAT SNOWDEN

IS IN A MOSCOW AIRPORT.

AND HE SAID SNOWDEN IS STILL

IN THIS TRANSIT AREA AND

HASN'T GONE THROUGH

IMMIGRATION SO HE IS

TECHNICALLY NOT IN RUSSIA.

>> PLEASE.

TECHNICALLY NOT IN RUSSIA.

HE DID -- HE'S AT THE POS

YOU COULD [BLEEP] AIRPORT.

HE COULDN'T BE MORE IN

RUSSIA IF HE WAS IN A SQUARE

STANDING IN SOME NESTING

DOLLS.

SO-- HE--

(APPLAUSE)

SO HE'S STUCK IN AN AIRPORT

UNABLE TO LEAVE, FORCED TO

LIVE THERE FOR AN

UNDETERMINED AMOUNT 6 TIME.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS REMINDED ME OF THAT TOM

HANKS MOVIE, YOU KNOW, WHERE

HE'S TRAVELING AND THINGS

END UP GOING WRONG, YES,

THAT'S IT, CASTAWAY, EXCEPT

INSTEAD OF BEING STRANDED IN

AN ISLAND HE IS STRANDED IN

AN AIRPORT.

NO IT'S NOT THAT ONE.

THAT OTHER TOM HANKS MOVIE,

THAT'S RIGHT, WAY, EXCEPT OF

INSTEAD OF BEING STRANDED IN

A LITTLE BOY'S BODY HE IS

STRANDED IN AN AIRPORT, NO,

THAT'S NOT IT EITHER.

IT'S ACTUALLY, IT'S THAT

OTHER TOM HANKS MOVIE, YES,

THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.

EXCEPT INSTEAD OF HAVING

AIDS HE'S STRANDED IN AN

AIRPORT, THAT'S THE ONE.

THE AIDS ONE THIS THAT IS

THE ONE I WAS THINKING OF.

THAT WAS GOING TO KEEP ME UP

ALL NIGHT.

NOW GOOD LUCK FINDING A

STUPID A JOKE ON TELEVISION

TONIGHT THAN THE ONE YOU

JUST HEARD.

GOOD LUCK.

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

GOOD LUCK.

I LAY DOWN THE CHALLENGE.

THAT'S A STUPID JOKE.

NOW LOOK, YOU PROBABLY ARE

THINKING, OR WE CAN JUST ASK

A PUDIN TO HAND HIM OVER TO

US.

WELL, FUNNY STORY.

HE'S REFUSING TO.

BUT ACTUALLY HE HAS A VERY

GOOD REASON.

>> PUTIN DISMISSED THE

IMPORTANCE OF THE ENTIRE

SNOWDEN CASE SAYING IT'S

LIKE SHEERING A PIG, LOTS OF

SCREAMS BUT LITTLE WOOL.

(LAUGHTER)

>> NORMALLY I WOULD SAY

THAT'S AN EXTREMELY STRANGE

ANALOGY BUT THERE IS

SOMETHING ABOUT VLADIMIR

PUTIN THAT TELLS ME THAT HE

HAS SHEERED A LOT OF PIGS IN

HIS LIFETIME FOR THE SOLE

PURPOSE OF HEARING THEM

SCREAM.

THE BOTTOM LINE IS-- THE

BOTTOM LINE IS, WHETHER OR

NOT WE GET OUR HANDS ON

EDWARD SNOWDEN ANY TIME SOON

HAS NO BEARING ON THE FACT

THAT HE IS CURRENTLY

SCREWED.

HE'S IN A FOREIGN AIRPORT,

WAITING ON A FLIGHT THAT MAY

OR MAY NOT EVEN EXIST.

AS IRONIC PUNISHMENTS GO,

THAT IS ALMOST TWILIGHT ZONE

LEVEL.

SO ENJOY YOUR MEALS OF

JUSTY-FREE VODKA AND

TOBLERONES, MR. SNOWDEN,

BECAUSE YOU HAVE CHECKED

INTO THE RUSSIAN EQUIVALENT

OF THE HOTEL CALIFORNIA.

OH, YOU CAN CHECK OUT ANY

TIME YOU LIKE, BUT YOU CAN

NEVER LEAVE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(APPLAUSE)

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