Democalypse 2014 - 2016 Foreplay Edition Pt. 2

  • Aired:  05/07/14
  •  | Views: 42,998

Every current event appears to fan the flames of speculation surrounding Hillary Clinton's 2016 presidential run. (6:22)

SO, I'M NOT SURE IF WE CAN LOCKJEB BUSH IN BASED ON THE VAGUE

RAMBLINGS OF CHAUNCEYGARDNER HERE. BUT, MAYBE

THE TEA LEAVES ARE A LITTLECLEARER WHEN IT COMES TO THE

RIVAL DYNASTY.

>> WHAT DOES HILLARY'S INFAMOUSTESTIMONY, ALONG WITH THIS NEW

EVIDENCE MEAN FOR HER 2016PRESIDENTIAL RUN?

>> COULD THE CRISIS IN UKRAINEHURT HER CHANCES IN 2016?

>> WHAT CHELSEA'S MATERNITYCOULD MEAN FOR 2016.

>> WHY DID VANITY FAIR JUST GIVEHUGE PLAY TO A NEW FEATURE ON

MONICA LEWINSKY AND HOW DOESTHIS EFFECT A HILLARY RUN?

>> THE REVELATIONS FROM HER BESTFRIEND'S DIARY AND WHAT THEY

COULD MEAN FOR 2016.

>> Jon: HILLARY CLINTON MOVINGFOOD THROUGH HER ESOPHAGUS USING

THE PROCESS OF PERISTALSIS.

DOES THIS MEAN SHE'S HUNGRY FOR2016?

AND COULD HER EXCLUSION FROM THECAST PHOTO OF THE NEW STAR WARS

MOVIE HURT HER CHANCES FORA PRESIDENTIAL RUN?

WE DON'T KNOW BECAUSE WE CAN'TKNOW BUT STILL, WHAT?

NOT ONLY DOES EVERY EVENT INTHE UNIVERSE EXERT

POSSIBLE INFLUENCE ON AHILLARY RUN BUT A POSSIBLE

HILLARY RUN EXERTS INFLUENCEON EVERY EVENT IN UNIVERSE.

>> WOULD VANITY FAIR PUBLISHANYTHING ABOUT MONICA

LEWINSKY THAT HILLARY CLINTONDIDN'T WANT IN VANITY FAIR?

I REALLY WONDER IF THIS ISN'T ANEFFORT ON THE CLINTON'S PART.

>> GETTING IT OUT OF THE WAY SOWE CAN SAY ONE MORE TIME IT'S

OLD NEWS SEEMS LIKE A STRATEGYOR A TACTIC PERHAPS.

>> Jon: OH WOW. IS IT JUST ME,OR DID IT JUST GET CRAZY IN

HERE? DID IT? YEAH HEY VANITYFAIR, IT'S HILLARY.

YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVEN'T BEENASKED ABOUT RECENTLY? ONE OF

MOST PAINFUL AND HUMILIATINGEXPERIENCES IN MY LIFE.

SO, I WAS WONDERING IF YOUCOULD PUBLICLY REHASH IT FOR ME,

AS A PART OF AN IMPLAUSIBLYCONVOLUTED PLAN TO GIVE ME A

BOOST I DO NEED TODEFEAT JOE BIDE ANYWAY. AND IS

IT -- DID YOU JUST SEE THATFLY? OR IS THAT A DRONE?

WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

HILLARY?

[LAUGHTER]AND AS IF TO FAN THE FLAMES OF

SPECULATION, CLINTON MADE ANAPPEARANCE AT A CLASSIC FIRST

STOP FOR ANY PRESIDENTIALCAMPAIGN THE NATIONAL COUNCIL

FOR BEHAVIORAL HEALTH MENTALHEALTH AND ADDICTION CONFERENCE.

>> WHAT IS YOUR GUILTY PLEASURE?

[LAUGHTER]>> LET'S SEE.

UM --[LAUGHTER]

>> ARE THERE THAT MANY?

>> I'M TRYING TO THINK OF, YOUKNOW, THE G-RATED ONE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: MISS CLINTON IF YOU'RE

NASTY.

ALTHOUGH, I HAVE TO SAYYOU COULD PROBABLY GO AT

LEAST PG-13 WITH THIS CROWD.

YOU ARE AT THE MENTAL HEALTH ANDADDICTION CONFERENCE.

MY GUESS IS THEIR EARS ARE NOTQUITE AS DELICATE AS YOU MIGHT

THINK UNLESS YOUR GUILTYPLEASURE IS FREE BASING

CRACK COCAINE WHILST ASTRIDE THEFRESHLY KILLED CARCUS OF AN

ENDANGERED AFRICAN RHINO.

>> LOOK, CHOCOLATE. I MEAN, IHATE TO BE SO PREDICTABLE.

IT'S LIKE GOOD FOR YOUR BRAIN.IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR HEART.

I NEVER CAN STOP WITH JUST ONESQUARE.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, IT GIRL.

[ LAUGHTER ]YOU ARE ARE TOTALLY CONNECTING

TO ME AS A VOTER AND A WOMAN.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]YOU KNOW WHAT IS NOT AS GOOD AS

YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE?

BAKING CHOCOLATE.

[ LAUGHTER ]COME ON.

THERE'S GOT TO BE OTHER NAMESOUT THERE.

WHAT ABOUT TEXAS GOVERNORRICK PERRY.

REMEMBER HIM? HERAN FOR PRESIDENT AND

COULDN'T REMEMBER ALL THREE OFTHE DEPARTMENTS

HE WANTED TO ABOLISHIN THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

>> OOPS.

>> Jon: YEAH.

I WONDER IF OLD WYATT OOPS ISGOING TO GET BACK IN THE SADDLE.

>> YOU RAN IN 2012.

A LOT OF PEOPLE THOUGHT IT WAS ABOTCHED EFFORT ON YOUR PART.

HOW DO YOU GET A SECOND LOOKNOW?

>> I THINK AMERICA IS A PLACETHAT BELIEVES IN SECOND CHANCES.

I THINK THAT WE SEE MORECHARACTER OUT OF AN INDIVIDUAL

BY HOW DO YOU PERFORM AFTER YOUFAIL AND YOU GO FORWARD?

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT ISCRAZY, I ACTUALLY, I BELIEVE

HIM. I DO WANT TO GIVEHIM A SECOND CHANCE.

I FEEL LIKE HE IS SMARTER NOWSOMEHOW.

I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT.

WHAT IS DIFFERENT?

JUST PUT UP THE TWO PICTURES.

OH MY GOD. I KNOW WHAT HE ISDOING.

HE'S DOING THE REVERSE SHE'S ALLTHAT. HE'S GOING FROM THE

HANDSOME BIMBO TO THE BOOKWORM.WELL, RICK PERRY

MAY LOSE FREDDY PRINZE, JR.,BUT HE MIGHT WIN THE PRESIDENCY.

I'M WILLING TO GRANT GOVERNORPERRY THAT SECOND CHANCE. SHOW

US YOUR NEW AND IMPROVED GRASPOF THE COMPLEXITY OF THE ISSUES.

>> I THINK AMERICANS ARE REALLYCONCERNED ABOUT HOW AM I

GOING TO BE ABLE TO TAKECARE OF MY FAMILY. I'M WORRIED

ABOUT THOSE 90 MILLION PEOPLETHAT ARE OUT OF WORK.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: DID YOU JUST SAY 90

MILLION? HOLD ON.

HOLD ON.

HOLD ON.

OOPS.

YOU ARE SO CLOSE.

YOU ARE ONLY --[LAUGHTER]

-- OFF BY AROUND 80 MILLION.

UNLESS, UNLESS OF COURSE YOU AREINCLUDING CHILDREN,

STUDENTS AND OLD PEOPLE PAST THEAGE OF 65 AS

PART OF YOUR OUT OF WORK FORCEBUT THAT WOULD BE FAR TOO STUPID

FOR A MAN WITH GLASSES OFENSMARTENMENT. IT'S ONLY 2014

AND 2016 IS ALREADY SHAPING UPTO BE A LAME REMIX.

IS THERE ANYTHING OUT THERE FORUS TO LOOK FORWARD TO?

>> WHAT HAPPENS IN THE 2018 MIDTERMS.

>> JULIAN CASTRO THE DEMOCRATICMAYOR OF SAN ANTONIO. DOES HE

END UP RUNNING FOR HIGHER OFFICEIN 2018, 2020, 2022?

>> IF THEY DON'T IMPROVE THEIRSTANDING WITH LATINO VOTERS THEY

CAN FORGET ABOUT ELECTIONSIN 2020, 2024.

>> 2052 BY MY MATH WILL BETHE FIRST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

IN WHICH THE CLINTON MEZVINSKYBABY IS ELIGIBLE.

>> Jon: WELL, AND THE CLINTONMEZVINSKY BABY WILL BE SQUARING

OFF IN 2052 AGAINSTREPUBLICAN CANDIDATE, OH FOR

GOD SAKES, MITT ROMNEY LET ITGO.

♪ LET IT GO.

LET IT GO ♪WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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