Harrison Ford

  • Aired:  11/09/10
  •  | Views: 69,279

Harrison Ford doesn't think there's a chance that George W. Bush will accept Jon's McRib offer. (5:43)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE

PROGRAM, MY GUEST TONIGHT, AN IN

CREDIBLE ACTOR WHOSE NEW FILM

IS CALLED "MORNING GLORY."

>> A PULITZER, 16 EMMYS, I WAS

SHOT THROUGH THE FOREARM IN

BOSNIA, PULLED COLIN POWELL FROM

A BURNING JEEP.

I LAID A COOL WASH CLOTH ON

MOTHER TERESA'S FOREHEAD DURING

A CHOLERA EPIDEMIC.

I HAD LUNCH WITH DICK CHENEY.

>> YOU'RE HERE FOR THE MONEY?

>> THAT IS CORRECT.

>> Jon: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO

THE PROGRAM HARRISON FORD.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

WELCOME.

HOW ARE YOU

>> I'M HERE FOR THE MONEY.

>> Jon: WHAT?

YOU GET NOTHING FROM US, MY

FRIEND.

POSSIBLY A McRIB.

OTHER THAN THAT... HAVE YOU HAD

THE McRIB, BY THE WAY?

IT'S A RE

>> RELEASE.

>> NO.

>> Jon: HAVE YOU EVER HAD IT

BEFORE?

>> NEW YORK YOU MADE IT SOUND

REALLY GOOD.

IF IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR

PRESIDENT BUSH, IT'S GOOD ENOUGH

FOR ME.

JON JON DO YOU THINK HE'LL

ACCEPT MY OFFER OF A McRIB?

>> NOT A CHANCE.

>> Jon: DO YOU THINK I NEED TO

THROW IN HAPPY MEAL TOY?

>> YOU JUST HAVE TO BE A MUCH

NICER GUY.

>> Jon: I KNEW IT.

SO IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

>> NO, IT'S NOT IN YOU.

>> Jon: DID YOU HEAR, THIS IS

COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC, SAN

FRANCISCO, THEY'RE BANNING THE

HAPPY MEAL TOY.

>> I TOLD MY SON ABOUT THAT.

>> Jon: HOW OLD IS YOUR SON?

>> MY SON IS NINE.

>> IS HE STILL IN HAPPY MEAL

PHASE?

>> NO, HE SAYS THE TOYS ARE CRAP

ANYWAY.

>> Jon: WHAT HAPPENS.

MY KIDS ARE SIX AND FOUR.

>> I SAID, WHAT ABOUT THE FOOD?

HE SAID, I DON'T LIKE ANYTHING

BUT FRENCH FRIES.

HE SAID, THAT'S THE WORST PART.

SO THIS IS THE CONVERSATION I

HAD.

>> Jon: WHAT IS THE

DIFFERENCE, THOUGH, MY SON IS

SIX, MY DAUGHTER IS FOUR.

YOUR SON IS NINE.

BETWEEN THE AGE OF SIX AND NINE,

WHEN DOES THAT TOY GO FROM BEING

THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER

OCCURRED IN LIFE THAT WE MUST GO

THROUGH MONSOONS, OVER MOUNTAINS

BY FOOT TO GET TO, TO, AH, IT'S

A PIECE OF [BLEEPED].

I'M NOT INTERESTED.

AT WHAT POINT IN THAT AGE RANGE?

>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT YOUR PARENTING SKILLS...

( LAUGHTER )

BUT I WOULD SUGGEST...

>> Jon: OH, I THINK YOU DO.

>> SOMEBODY MAYBE GOT TO HIM A

LITTLE EARLIER.

YOU KNOW?

YOU BOUGHT HIM A TOY?

THEN THEY WOULD SEE THE

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN...

>> Jon: LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I

DO.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

THIS IS TRUE.

THIS IS A GOOD POINT YOU BRING

UP.

WHAT I DO IS WHEN WE'RE OUT AND

THERE'S ANOTHER CHILD WITH A TOY

THAT SEEMS NICE, I WILL TAKE IT.

I HAVE SHOWN MY SON THAT IT IS

ALL ABOUT FORCE.

YOU CAN ONLY... IT IS THE POWELL

DOCTRINE, OVERWHELMING FORCE ON

A CHILD.

( LAUGHTER )

NOW HOW WAS THIS?

WAS THE MOVIE FUN TO MAKE?

WAS IT A PAIN IN THE ASS?

>> IT WAS GREAT.

THE DIRECTOR WAS REALLY GREAT.

THE SCRIPT WAS REALLY GREAT?

>> Jon: WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE

DIRECTOR?

>> ROSS MICHELE.

GOOD MOVIE.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT.

>> Jon: I'M GOING TO.

>> AFTER I LEAVE?

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO TALK ABOUT?

HAPPY MEALS?

>> Jon: WE JUST DID.

>> YOU DON'T REMEMBER.

>> Jon: ON THE SHOWS YOU

NORMALLY GO ORANGE HOW PREPARED

ARE THE HOST, JUST IN GENERAL?

IS IT MORE OF A... I ALWAYS

WONDER ABOUT THIS.

IT'S HARD FOR ME TO SEE THE

MOVIE, AND I COULD LIE TO YOU

BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

WE'RE FRIENDS.

I DON'T WANT TO SAY, OF COURSE I

SAW THE MOVIE, YOU'RE

TREMENDOUS.

WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO YOU, IS I

TRUST YOU.

HOW IS THE MOVIE?

( LAUGHTER )

>> IT'S [BLEEPED] BRILLIANT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: SIR, I WILL TELL YOU

THIS, MY PARENTING SKILLS ARE

SECOND ONLY TO MY INTERVIEWING

SKILLS.

>> NO, IT'S GOOD.

IT'S REALLY GOOD.

THE GIRL IS REALLY GREAT.

>> Jon: THAT'S RACHEL

McKENNA.

CHARMING.

>> IT'S NOT BECAUSE SHE'S A GIRL

AND IT'S NOT A CHICK FLICK.

IT'S A VERY, VERY...

>> Jon: IT'S ACTION.

YOU KILL PEOPLE IN THIS MOVIE.

>> NO, I... I...

>> Jon: YOU'VE NOT SEEN THIS

MOVIE.

>> NO, BUT I READ THE BOOK.

>> Jon: WELL, I'M DELIGHTED.

NEXT TIME YOU COME BACK.

>> IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS.

>> Jon: HAS IT REALLY BEEN

THREE YEARS?

I'M TELLING YOU, YOU DON'T AGE.

YOU'RE MY SON'S FAVORITE ACTOR.

I'LL JUST LET YOU KNOW THAT.

THAT WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING

ABOUT MY PARENTING SKILLS.

BUT "MORNING GLORY," WHICH IS

[BLEEPED] BRILLIANT, WILL BE IN

THE THEATERS TOMORROW.

HARRISON FORD.

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