Tales of Manufactured Conflict - America's TV Scheduling Nightmare

  • Aired:  09/06/11
  •  | Views: 52,239

John Oliver wonders who will watch Barack Obama's speech or the Republican presidential debate when all the shows they actually like are at their fingertips. (3:06)

AT SOME POINT, BUT WHO GIVES A

(BLEEP)?

FOR MORE ON "HOW DOES WEDNESDAY

WORK?

NOT GREAT?

OKAY, HOW ABOUT THURSDAY-GATE"

I'M JOINED BY SENIOR WHITE HOUSE

CORRESPONDENT JOHN OLIVER.

JOHN, I DON'T SEE WHAT THIS IS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

IN ANY WAY.

>> WHAT?

>> I DON'T ZEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL

IS ABOUT ANY OF THIS.

>> OH, REALLY?

REALLY, YOU DON'T SEE IT, JON?

A PRESIDENTIAL SPEECH AND A

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE ON THE SAME

NIGHT?

YOU ARE FORCING AMERICA INTO A

NIGHTMARE SCENARIO.

ON ONE CHANNEL IS THE PRESIDENT

USING A JOINT SESSION TO UNVEIL

A PLAN WHICH REALISTICALLY CAN

DO LITTLE TO DIMINISH AMERICA'S

SOARING UNEMPLOYMENT RATES WHILE

AT THE VERY SAME TIME A HANDFUL

OF PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES ABOUT

WHOM THEIR OWN PARTY CAN'T EVEN

GET EXCITED WILL COMPETITIVELY

PANDER TO A SMALL BUT VOCAL

COLLECTION OF ELDERLY LUNATICS.

(LAUGHTER)

AND YOU CAN ONLY WATCH ONE OF

THOSE, JON.

(LAUGHTER)

JUST ONE.

>> Jon: IT'S NOT EXACT I

"SOPHIE'S CHOICE."

>> OF COURSE IT'S NOT, SOPHIE

HAD IT EASY.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU OBVIOUSLY GO WITH BOY.

(LAUGHTER)

I MEAN, WHO CHOOSES TO SAVE THE

GIRL FROM THE NAZIS?

SHE'S WEAK, SHE'LL NEVER SURVIVE

THE POLISH WINTER.

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S EASY.

IT'S A NO BRAINER FOR SOPHIE.

>> Jon: WHO WOULD CHOICE THAT?

>> WHO WOULD CHOICE IT?

>> Jon: WHO WOULD CHOICE IT?

WHO CAN CHOICE?

>> WHO CAN CHOICE BUT SOPHIE.

>> Jon: PECK STOP TAKING AND

CUT OUT THAT BECAUSE YOU WISH

YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT.

>> NO, WRONG, JON, I STAND BY

IT.

IN FACT, I'LL SAY IT AGAIN IN

CASE YOU EDIT IT OUT.

SOPHIE SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN THE

BOY.

THE BOY.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, PLEASE.

PLEASE.

LET'S GET BACK TO... YOU REALLY

BELIEVE THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A

BIG PROBLEM IF BOTH THINGS

HAPPENED THE SAME NIGHT?

>> HUGE, JON.

AND THE PUBLIC CONUNDRUM WOULD

HAVEN'T ENDED THERE.

THEY STILL HAVE THE OPTION OF

MISSING BOTH POLITICAL EVENTS

AND WATCHING "GHOSTS CAUGHT ON

CAPE" ON THE BIOGRAPHY CHANNEL.

THEY'RE GHOSTS, JON!

AND THEY'RE CAUGHT ON TAPE!

(LAUGHTER).

>> Jon: BUT EVEN IF THE

PRESIDENT HADN'T SWITCHED THE

DATES COULDN'T PEACH WATCH ONE

THING AND RECORD THE OTHER?

>> SURE, THEN YOU CAN PULL A

RABBIT OUT OF YOUR MAGIC

TELEVISION BEFORE DRIVING YOUR

FLYING CAR TO YOUR HOTEL ON THE

MOON.

DON'T FORGET TO BREAK FOR

UNICORNS BECAUSE WHAT YOU'RE

TALKING ABOUT IS SCIENCE

FICTION/FANTASY.

(LAUGHTER)

RIGHT?

(LAUGHTER).

>> Jon: I'M... LIKE TIVO,

D.V.R., YOU CAN... EVERYONE HAS

ONE.

>> THAT IS TRUE.

BUT WHO'S GOING TO WATCH THE

SPEECH OR THE DEBATE WHEN

THEY'VE GOT ALL THE SHOWS THEY

ACTUALLY LIKE RIGHT AT THEIR

FINGERTIPS?

(LAUGHTER).

>> Jon: WHAT'S WITH ALL THE

GHOST SHOWS?

WHY IS...

>> I LOVE GHOSTS, JON!

YOU THINK POLITICS IS THE ONLY

THING I'M INTERESTED IN?

I'M A GHOST GUY!

THEY'RE MY THING.

>> Jon: JOHN OLIVER,

EVERYBODY.

>> WHERE IS HEY, WHOA, WHOA, DID

YOU JUST FEEL A COLD WIND?

I THINK THERE'S A GHOST IN HERE!

QUICK, CATCH IT ON TAPE!

HOLD MY HAND!

>> Jon: JOHN OLIVER,

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