No Country for Old Things

  • Aired:  02/07/13
  •  | Views: 33,653

Responding to the Internet, the United States Postal Service will cease Saturday delivery, and Monopoly becomes more cat-friendly. (3:48)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.

AS YOU KNOW, THERE'S A FEAR IN THIS COUNTRY THAT THE TRADITIONAL AMERICA, OUR ANGRY

FATHERS AND HILARIOUSLY GRACIOUS GRANDPARENTS GREW UP IN THAT IS DISAPPEARING.

IT'S TRUE.

CHANGE IS COMING TO AMERICA AND SOMETIMES CHANGE ISN'T EASY.

>> BIG CHANGES COMING TO MONOPOLY.

HAZ HASBRO LET PEOPLE CHOOSE A NEW OPTION.

>> THE ROBOT, THE CAT.

>> Jon: ITS THAT BE ROBOT.

YOU HAVE A CHOICE OF A ROBOT, WHO WOULD NOT PICK ROBOT.

>> IT'S THE CAT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: CAT?

HOW DID CAT BEAT ROBOT?

[LAUGHTER]

>> IT WAS PUT TO A NATIONAL VOTE ON THE WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA.

>> Jon: DAMN YOU INTERNET!

[LAUGHTER]

AND YOUR INSATIABLE LOVE OF CATS!

THE INTERNET AND THEIR CATS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I'M SERIOUS IF THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION WAS HELD ON LINE THIS WOULD BE OUR NEW COMMANDER IN CHIEF.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THE INTERNET LOVES CATS.

[LAUGHTER]

TECHNICALLY THOUGH YOU CAN USE ANY OBJECT AS A MONOPOLY PIECE.

THEY ALREADY DO IN THE 18,000 VARYING VERGZ OF MONOPOLY.

ALL OF THE VERSIONS ARE MADE BY HASBRO.

IT'S LIKE NO OTHER COMPANY CAN COMPETE.

LIKE THEY HAVE A -- THE MARKET CORNERS OR LIKE A SINGLE HOLDING ON THE PROPRIETORSHIP OF THE --

AND OTHER SYNONYMS FOR MON MONOPOLY.

[LAUGHTER]

BOARD GAMES ARE NOT THE ONLY THING DISAPPEARING FROM THE AMERICA WE USED TO LOVE.

>> THE U.S. POSTAL SERVICE SAYS DELIVERING THE MAIL ON SATURDAYS MUST STOP IF THEY ARE TO SURVIVE.

>> THE POSTAL SERVICE HOPES THE CUTS HELP THEM SURVIVE AFTER LOSING NEARLY $16 BILLION LAST YEAR.

>> Jon: I CAN'T BELIEVE THE BUSINESS MODEL OF TRANSPORTING LETTERS WITH VEHICLES ACROSS THE

COUNTRY FOR $40 CENTS A POP IS FAILING.

YOU WANT ME TO TAKE THAT HAWAII?

I'LL PIT ON A PLANE AND GET IT THERE IN TWO DAYS YOU GOT A QUARTER?

YEAH, I'LL DO IT FOR A QUARTER.

[LAUGHTER]

(bleep) IT I'LL JUST DO IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

POSTMASTER GENERAL WHAT GIVES?

IF YOU HAD THE SAME VOLUME OF MAIL WE HAD MANY YEARS AGO BEFORE PEOPLE PAID BILLS ON LINE

WE WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THIS.

PEOPLE PAY THEIR BILLS ON LINE.

IT'S SIM.

IT'S EASY.

IT'S FREE.

YOU CANNOT BEAT FREE.

>> Jon: IT PROBABLY DOESN'T HELP THAT THE POSTMASTER GENERAL IS SO ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT THE

TECHNOLOGY DESTROYING HIS AGENCY.

YOU HAVE TO BE AN IDIOT TO GO TO THE POST OFFICE NOW.

BASICALLY JUST OFFERED THE TAGLINE FOR E-MAIL.

YOU CAN'T BEAT FREE.

[LAUGHTER]

WITH THESE TAPE STAPLES OF AMERICAN LIFE COMING UNDONE IS ISN'T THERE AN ORGANIZATION RUSHING TO

EMBRACE AMERICA.

>> BOY SCOUT VOTE NOT TO VOTE ON THE LIFTING THE BAN ON GAY MEMBERS AND LEADERS UNTIL MAY.

THEY NEED MORE TIME TO DELIBERATE THE POLICY.

>> Jon: MAY SEEM LIKE AN ANTIQUATED PROCESS BUT AT LEAST THERE'S AN EXECUTIVE BOARD

OVERSEEING THE DECISION.

PERHAPS IF THEY PUT IT ONLINE THIS WOULD

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