Indecision 2012 - GOP Almighty

  • Aired:  01/04/12
  •  | Views: 79,413

Michele Bachmann expected a miracle but didn't get it, and Wyatt Cenac heads to Heaven to shed some light on God's mysterious ways. (3:43)

SHOW.

SO AS YOU NAY KNOW, HEADING INTO

LAST NIGHT'S CAUCUS, MINNESOTA

CONGRESSWOMAN MICHELE BACHMANN

WAS FEELING A PARTICULAR KIND OF

SPECIAL CONFIDENCE.

>> WE'RE GOING TO SEE A MIRACLE

HAPPEN ON TUESDAY.

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT.

>> Jon: AND LO FOR MANY MONTHS

DID BACHMANN DWELL AMONGST

IOWA'S VOTERS AND CAME IN SIXTH.

OKAY.

[LAUGHTER]

OUT OF SIX.

[LAUGHTER]

YET WHEN SHE DROPPED OUT OF THE

RACE THIS MORNING, BACHMANN MADE

ONE THING STILL VERY CLEAR.

>>LY NOT BE CONTINUING IN THIS

RACE FOR THE PRESIDENCY.

MY FAITH IN THE LORD GOD

ALMIGHTY, THIS COUNTRY AND OUR

REPUBLIC IS UNSHAKABLE.

>> Jon: UNSHAKEABLE.

HER FAITH IN GOD.

SHE WAS EXPECTING A MIRACLE,

REALLY DIDN'T GET IT, AND YET

STILL HAS FAITH.

PERHAPS SHE THINKS GOD IS

SETTING HER UP HERE.

MAYBE FOR ONE OF THOSE GOD

MOMENTS LIKE WHEN ABRAHAM WAS

ABOUT TO STAB ISAAC AND GOD WAS

LIKE [BLEEPED].

[LAUGHTER]

BUT THE TROUBLE, OF COURSE, WAS

THAT THE REPUBLICAN FIELD

BACHMANN WAS COMPETING AGAINST

NOT JUST FOR THE FACT THEY WERE

REPUBLICAN VOTERS BUT FOR THE

AFFECTION OF GOD WAS EQUALLY

TENACIOUS IN THEIR PURSUIT OF

THE BIG MAN.

>> IT IS TO THE GOD OF OUR

FATHERS THAT WE GIVE PRAISE THIS

EVENING.

>> OUR CONVICTION THAT FREEDOM

IS A GIFT OF GOD.

>> AND WITH A LITTLE PRAYER AND

REFLECTION, I'M GOING TO DECIDE

THE BEST PATH FORWARD.

>> FOR LOVING ME, WARTS AND ALL,

I OFFER A PUBLIC THANKS TO GOD.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: GOD MAY LOVE YOU, BUT

I THINK HE'S JUST BEING POLITE

ABOUT THE WARTS QUITE FRANKLY.

FOR MORE ON WHICH CANDIDATE MAY

RECEIVE THE COVETED GOD

ENDORSEMENT, WE GO OUT THE WYATT

CENAC.

WYATT, WHERE ARE YOU?

>> I'M IN HEAVEN, JON.

>> Jon: WHAT?

THAT LOOKS LIKE A VEGAS SPORTS

BOG.

>> GOD'S GOT HIS HANDS IN A LOT

OF HUMAN PIE, FOOTBALL, GRAMMY,

LATIN GRAMMY, AMERICAN MUSIC

AWARD, COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS,

ASIAN COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS.

>> Jon: GOD'S JUST KEEPING AN

EYE ON SPORTS AND AWARDS SHOWS.

>> THAT'S WHY HE'S GOT PICTURE

IN PICTURE IN PICTURE FOREVER.

IT'S AWESOME.

>> Jon: THAT'S WHAT'S

CONFUSING, WYATT.

ALL THE CANDIDATES SEEM THE

BELIEVE GOD HAS CALLED THEM TO

THIS RACE, SO WHY DOESN'T GOD

JUST TELL US WHO HE SUPPORTS.

>> OH, SURE, HE COULD JUST SEND

US A SIGN, MAYBE PUT NEWT

GINGRICH'S FACE ON A POTATO OR

PUT NEWT GINGRICH'S FACE ON A

MARSHMALLOW OR PUT NEWT

GINGRICH'S FACE IN A BELL OF

TARTAR SAUCE, REALLY GINGRICH

GINGRICH'S FACE COULD APPEAR ON

ANY STARCHY OR GLOBULAR

FOODSTUFF.

CHOWDER, OH, IT COULD GO IN

CHOWDER.

>> Jon: YES, BUT WHY IS GOD

BEING COY HERE?

WHY NOT JUST PUT OUT A YARD SIGN

IN FRONT OF THE PEARLY GATE

SAYING, I'M FOR SANTORUM OR I'M

FOR GINGRICH AND SETTLE THE

WHOLE DAMN THING ONCE AND FOR

ALL IN

>> I DON'T KNOW, WHY DOESN'T HE

SETTLE JUDYISM VERSUS

CHRISTIANITY VERSUS ISLAM?

WHY CREATE A LOW-LYING, A PELLOW

AND THEN DESTROY IT WITH A

TSUNAMI?

THE DUDE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS

WAY.

>> Jon: HE LOVES THE GAME OF

IT ALL.

>> LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

HE'S GOT ACTION ON THIS ALL THE

WAY TO THE CONVENTION.

>> Jon: SO GOD WILL ACTUALLY

BE IN TAMPA COME AUGUST?

>> HAVE YOU BEEN THE TAMPA?

THAT PLACE IS A [BLEEPED] HOLE.

>> Jon: BUT GOD DID CREATE IT.

>> SERIOUS WAVES, JON.

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