Indecision 2012 - Second Republican Debate Is a Success

  • Aired:  06/14/11
  •  | Views: 141,087

It's impossible to get tripped up by adhering too closely to ideology at a Republican primary debate, unless you're a libertarian. (6:02)

(LAUGHTER)

ANYWAY, TRIVIALITIES ASIDE, IT

WAS TIME FOR THE DEBATE WHICH

BEGAN FOR THE TRADITIONAL

COMPARING OF THE CHRISTMAS

CARDS.

>> THE FATHER OF TWO BEAUTIFUL

DAUGHTERS.

>> FATHER OF TWO, GRANDFATHER OF

THREE.

>> SEVEN CHILDREN.

>> FIVE SONS, AS YOU KNOW, FIVE

DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW.

16 GRAND KIDS.

>> I'VE GIVEN BIRTH TO FIVE

BABIES AND I'VE TAKEN 23 FOSTER

CHILDREN INTO MY HOME.

>> Jon: WE HAVE A WINNER.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

AND I JUST WANT TO ASK EVERYONE

ELSE HERE UP ON THE DAIS, HAVE

YOU EVER HAD TO DIVIDE A

BIRTHDAY CAKE INTO 28 EQUAL

PIECES?

BY THE WAY, THE ONLY CANDIDATE

NOT TO MENTION HIS KIDS AT ALL

WAS NEWT GINGRICH.

ALTHOUGH HE DID THE OTHERS TO A

MOST-WIVES CONTEST.

(LAUGHTER)

CONSECUTIVE, NOT CONCURRENT.

NICE TRY, ROMNEY.

(LAUGHTER)

OF COURSE, THE BABY-OFF WAS

REALLY JUST A PROXY BATTLE FOR

THE REAL BATTLE.

THE PRO-LIFE OFF.

>> I BELIEVE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND

THAT I'M FIRMLY PRO-LIFE.

>> I STAND FOR THE RIGHT TO

LIFE.

>> NOT ONLY HAVE I BEEN

CONSISTENTLY PRO-LIFE BUT I'VE

TAKEN... I'VE NOT JUST TAKEN THE

PLEDGE, I'VE TAKEN THE BULLETS.

THE "NATIONAL REVIEW" ONLINE,

WHICH IS THE CONSERVATIVE

PUBLICATION SAID BASED ON

RESULTS, NOT JUST BASED ON WORDS

I WAS PROBABLY THE MOST PRO-LIFE

CANDIDATE IN THIS RACE.

>> MY FAVORITE MAGAZINE?

YEAH.

(LAUGHTER)

FAVORITE BOARD GAME?

NO DOUBT.

(LAUGHTER)

MY FAVORITE GARRETT?

CLOSE.

CLOSE.

LEIF.

(LAUGHTER)

MY FAVORITE WORD TO IMAGINE A

NATIVE OF CHINA STEREO TYPICALLY

MISPRONOUNCING?

(LAUGHTER)

I KNEW I WAS GOING TO NAIL ONE

OF THEM.

OF COURSE, AT A REPUBLICAN

PRIMARY DEBATE IT WOULD NOT BE

POSSIBLE TO GET TRIPPED UP BY

ADHERING TOO CLOSELY TO YOUR

IDEOLOGY.

UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOUR IDEOLOGY

IS LIBERTARIAN.

>> A FIVE-YEAR-OLD CHILD OF AN

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT WALKS INTO THE

EMERGENCY ROOM, DOES THE CHILD

GET CARE?

>> FIRST OFF, WE SHOULDN'T HAVE

THE MANDATES.

WE BANKRUPT IT HAD HOSPITALS AND

THE SCHOOLS IN TEXAS AND OTHER.

WE CAN'T GIVE THEM EASY

CITIZENSHIP.

WE SHOULD THINK ABOUT PROTECTING

OUR BORDERS.

>> AT A TIME WHEN GOVERNMENT

WASN'T... WE DIDN'T DEPEND ON

GOVERNMENT FOR EVERYTHING!

>> FREEDOM HAS SOLVED THESE KIND

OF PROBLEMS BEFORE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY YOU'RE NOT

GOING TO BE CARE AND EVERYBODY

WILL STARVE TO DEATH AND DIE ON

THE STREETS WITHOUT MEDICAL

CARE.

THAT'S THE IMPLICATION OF THE

QUESTION.

THAT'S JUST NOT TRUE AND YOU

SHOULDN'T ACCEPT IT.

>> Jon: I'M SORRY, CONGRESSMAN

PAUL, THE CORRECT ANSWER IS YES.

(LAUGHTER)

YES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

FIVE-YEAR-OLD SHOULD GET

EMERGENCY MEDICAL TREATMENT.

YES.

MEANWHILE, THE NICE CLEAR ALPHA

CANDIDATE, MITT ROMNEY, WHOSE

FRONT-RUNNER STATUS AND

DISTINGUISHED ONLY MY SIDE BURNS

SAW A GHOST HAIRDO

(LAUGHTER)

...

>> ALLOWED TIME ABILITY-- AND

I'M SPEAKING RELATIVELY-- TO

MODERATE HIS POSITION.

LIKE WHEN ROMNEY WAS ASKED ABOUT

EXCLUDING MUSLIMS FROM HIS

CABINET.

>> NO, I THINK WE RECOGNIZE THAT

THE PEOPLE OF ALL FAITHS ARE

WELCOME IN THIS COUNTRY.

OUR NATION WAS FOUNDED ON A

PRINCIPLE OF RELIGIOUS

TOLERANCE.

>> Jon: WOW.

OKAY.

WOW.

TERRIFIC.

WELL, LET'S JUST... THAT WAS

JUST...

>> I JUST WANT TO COMMENT FOR A

SECOND.

>> Jon: OH.

(LAUGHTER)

YES.

THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS

NEWT GINGRICH.

>> THE PAKISTANI WHO EMIGRATED

TO THE U.S., BECAME A CITIZEN,

BUILT A CAR BOMB WHICH LUCKILY

FAILED TO OFF GO OFF IN TIMES

SQUARE WAS ASKED BY THE FEDERAL

JUDGE HOW COULD SHE DONE THAT

WHEN HE SWORE AN OATH TO THE

UNITED STATES AND HE LOOKED AT

THE JUDGE AND HE SAID "YOU'RE MY

ENEMY.

I LIED."

I AM IN FAVOR OF SAYING TO

PEOPLE IF YOU'RE NOT PREPARED TO

BE LOYAL TO THE UNITED STATES

YOU WILL NOT SERVE IN MY

ADMINISTRATION, PERIOD.

>> Jon: SO THE POINT OF YOUR

STORY IS PEOPLE LIE WHEN THEY

SWEAR OATHS OF LOYALTY TO THE

UNITED STATES AND YOUR SOLUTION

IS I WILL SAY TO THESE PEOPLE...

(LAUGHTER)

... THEY DON'T DO THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT THE MOST ANTICIPATED MATCHUP

WAS NOT GINGRICH/ROMNEY BUT IN

FACT PAWLENTY/ROMNEY ON FOX NEWS

SUNDAY.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA SAID THAT HE

DESIGNED OBAMACARE AFTER ROMNEY

CARE AND BASICALLY MADE IT

OBAMNEYCARE.

>> Jon: OH, NO YOU DIDN'T!

TWO NAMES TOGETHER WITH CARE IS

LIKE THE BRANGELINA OF

SOCIALIZED MEDICINE!

OH, DAMN.

IT'S ON!

>> YOUR RIVAL IS STANDING RIGHT

THERE.

IF IT WAS OBAMNEYCARE ON FOX

NEWS SUNDAY, WHY IS IT NOT

OBAMNEYCARE STANDING HERE WITH

THE GOVERNOR?

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA IS THE PERSON

I QUOTED IN SAYING HE LOOKED TO

MASSACHUSETTS FOR DESIGNING HIS

PROGRAM.

HE'S THE ONE WHO SAID IT'S A

BLUEPRINT AND THAT HE MERGED THE

TWO PROGRAMS AND SO USING THE

TERM OBAMNEYCARE WAS A

REFLECTION OF THE PRESIDENT'S

COMMENT THAT HE DECIDED

OBAMACARE ON THE MASSACHUSETTS

HEALTH CARE PLAN.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: DID I SAY OBAMNEYCARE?

I MEANT TO SAY OBAPALIN CARE.

SHE'S NOT HERE, RIGHT?

OBAPALINCARE.

THAT'S WHAT I MEANT TO SAY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

STILL, THE NIGHT WAS A SURE-FIRE

SUCCESS, AT LEAST ACCORDING TO

THE ONLY METRIC THAT MATTERS TO

CNN.

>> SEVEN CANDIDATES UP ON STAGE

AS THEY TRY TO IMPRESS VOTERS OF

NEW HAMPSHIRE AND THE COUNTRY.

WE'VE BECOME, WE ARE TOLD, A

TRENDING TOPIC ON TWITTER.

>> Jon: A TRENDING TOPIC!

(LAUGHTER)

YOU MADE IT!

YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT

THIS WHEN IT WAS NATIONALLY

BROADCAST ON TELEVISION.

BUT TRENDING ON TWITTER!

(LAUGHTER)

IN FACT, THE DEBATE WAS TWITTER

TOPIC NUMBER THREE RIGHT UP

THERE BETWEEN HASHTAG BIG

MISTAKE AND HASHTAG WATCHING

CABLE.

-- TEEN WOLF.

KEEP IN MIND, THAT'S ALSO A

REFERENCE TO

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