Democalypse 2014: Subcontinental Edition - India Jones and the Election of Doom

  • Aired:  05/15/14
  •  | Views: 61,870

Jason Jones begrudgingly travels to India to report on the political climate surrounding the country's major election. (5:49)

NO MATTER WHO BECOMES INDIA'SNEXT PRIME MINISTER, THEIR

ELECTION WILL HAVE GLOBALCONSEQUENCES.

OUR OWN JASON JONES HAS MORE.

>> Jason: INDIA IS HAVING ANELECTION. AND I'VE ALWAYS BEEN

TOLD IT'S AN INCREDIBLE PLACE TOVISIT. BUT I'D RATHER AVOID

DYSENTERY IN 120 DEGREEWEATHER. SO INSTEAD I WENT

TO THE INDIA CONSULATE IN NEWYORK AND MET WITH AMBASSADOR --

(MISPRONOUNCING NAME) -- I METWITH THE AMBASSADOR.

MR. AMBASSADOR, I AM NOT AT ALLEMBARASSED TO ADMIT THAT I KNOW

NOTHING ABOUT INDIA.

>> YEAH, WELL IT'S ALWAYS GOODTO START.

>> I HEAR YOU GUYSARE HAVING A LITTLE ELECTION.

>> YES. INDIA IS ACTUALLY THEGREATEST DEMOCRACY IN THEWORLD.

>> NO, THAT'S THE UNITED STATESOF AMERICA.

THAT IS THE GREATESTDEMOCRACY IN THE WORLD.

>> NO, HOW DO YOU DEFINE IT?

>> Jason: OH, I DON'T KNOW, 121MILLION PEOPLE VOTING IN OUR

LAST ELECTION.

>> AND WE HAVE 814 MILLIONREGISTERED VOTERS.

>> Jason: OK, BUT THAT'S,THAT'S, THAT'S IN RUPEES.

HOW MANY IN AMERICAN?

>> I THINK WE DON'T CONVERTPEOPLE INTO RUPEES AND DOLLARS.

>> I KNOW WHY YOU KNOW SO MUCHABOUT US BECAUSE WE'RE THE BEST.

BUT, WHY DON'T WE KNOW ANYTHINGABOUT YOU?

>> YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'TUNDERSTAND INDIA IN ONE LIFE.

A PERSON SAY FROM TAMILNADU IN THE SOUTH WOULD NOT

UNDERSTAND THE LANGUAGE OFSOMEBODY IN THE NORTHEAST.

MY WIFE OFTEN THINKS WHEN I SAY NO, SHE THINK IT'S YES.

>> Jason: HOW DO YOU SAY NO?

>> I SAY IT LIKE THIS.

>> Jason: WHAT, YOU SAY NO LIKETHIS?

>> SO, NOW ACTUALLY YOU'RECONFUSING ME.

I REALLY DON'T KNOW.

>> Jason: YOU DON'T REMEMBERHOW YOU SAY NO?

>> AT ONE LEVEL INDIA ISVERY CONFUSING, AT

ANOTHER LEVEL IT'SVERY, VERY FASCINATING.

>> Jason: WELL, AMBASSADOR, IFYOUR ELECTIONS ARE SO

FASCINATING THENWHY IS THIS ALL I CAN FIND ABOUT

INDIA ON AMERICAN TELEVISION?

>> GOOD RICE, GOOD CURRY, GOODGANDHI, LET'S HURRY.

>> THE COVERAGE HERE IS,I WOULD SAY, LOPSIDED.

IT DOESN'T CAPTURE THECOMPLEXITY, IT DOESN'T CAPTURE

THE ENTHUSIASM OF INDIAN PEOPLE.

IT'S, IT'S, IT'S SOMETHING THATYOU MUST SEE TO BELIEVE.

>> Jason: PLEASE DO NOT DAREME TO GO TO INDIA.

>> THIS IS REALLY A FASCINATINGELECTION.

>> Jason: DON'T MAKE ME GO TOINDIA.

>> NO, YOU MUST GO.

>> Jason: BUT, I DON'T WANT TOGO.

>> SITTING BEHIND A DESK IN THEU.S., AND

APPRECIATING OR UNDERSTANDINGINDIAN ELECTIONS IS ALMOST NEXT

TO IMPOSSIBLE.

>> Jason: OK, YOU KNOW WHAT,PAL?

I AM GOING TO GO FIND SOMEONEWHO IS WILLING TO TRAVEL TO

INDIA.

>> YOU BETTER GO. YOU BETTER GO.

>> Jason: I'M NOT GOING.

>> YOU BETTER GO.

>> Jason: LUCKILY, I KNEWSOMEONE WHO LOVED INDIA.

(KNOCKING)

GUESS WHAT? WHO THE (bleep) AREYOU?

>> HI, I'M JORDAN.

>> YEAH, I DON'T CARE. WHERE'SMANDVI?

>> HE'S HAS AN HBO SHOW.

>> Jason: WELL, GOOD NEWS. YOUARE GOING TO INDIA.

>> OH, I CAN'T. I'M A RACIST.

>> Jason: JESSICA.

>> I CAN'T. I'M RACIST, TOO.

>> LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOING TOINDIA, HAVE A NICE TRIP.

>> I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO HAVETO COME TO INDIA. YOU KNOW,

I'M PRETTY HUNGRY. LET'S GO GRABSOME CHILLED MONKEY BRAINS.

IS THAT RACIST, BY THE WAY?

(MUSIC)>> OKAY, LET'S AVOID THAT CIVIL

WAR.

NO, NO, CAN'T FLY IN THEIRAIRSPACE.

WHOA, TOO MANY DRONES THERE.

THERE WE GO. DELHI.JUST ONE LOOK AT THE CHAOS OF

INDIA'S CAPITAL CITY AND ITWAS CLEAR THERE WAS NO WAY THIS

DEMOCRACY COULD EQUALOURS. FOR EXAMPLE,

IN THE U.S. YOU ARE FREE TOCHOOSE ONE OF TWO PARTIES AND IN

INDIA YOU HOLY (bleep) THERE'S ALOT OF CHOICES.

OK, BUT IN AMERICA, A STAGGERING23% OF OUR YOUTH PLAN ON VOTING

IN OUR NEXT ELECTIONS.

MATCH THAT, INDIA.

>> AS YOU KNOW 60 YEARS WE HAVEBEEN WITH THE CONGRESS PARTY,

WE'RE TRYING SOMETHINGNEW THIS TIME.

>> SO, YOU'RE 15 YEARS OLD ANDYOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUTPOLITICS.

>> YES, WE DO BECAUSE IT IS OURFUTURE.

>> REALLY? YOU GUYS ALL CAREABOUT POLITICS?

>> YES.

>> YES, OF COURSE I CAREABOUT POLITICS BECAUSE OUR

FUTURE DEPENDS ON US SO WECARE A LOT ABOUT POLITICS.

>> YOU CARE THAT MUCH YOUDIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT

MOTORCYCLE.

>> YEAH.

>> WOW. AND WITH 150 MILLIONFIRST-TIME VOTERS, MAYBE INDIA'S

YOUTH IS A LITTLE MOREENGAGED THAN OURS.

BUT IN AMERICA, OUR POLITICIANSKNOW HOW TO SPEAK TO EACH

COLOR-CODED GROUP.

>> I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOUDADDY YANKEE.

>> WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

WHO?

WHO?

>> SO, INDIA, DOES YOURDEMOCRACY PANDER TO ITS

MINORITIES?

I'M LOOKING FOR MINORITIES --PEOPLE WHO LOOK -- MINORITIES --

I DON'T KNOW, WHAT IS YOURMINORITY HERE?

HEY PAL, YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

>> YES.

>> Jason: YOU DO. OKAY. WHAT'SUH,

WHAT DO MINORITIES LOOK LIKEHERE?

>> YOU.

>> Jason: LIKE ME?

>> YES.

>> Jason: OH YES. WHY AM IASKING THE QUESTIONS THEN?

HERE, YOU TAKE IT. I'LL TAKETHAT.

HERE, LET'S, LET'S SWAP THEM.

JUST READ THEM.

>> WHY ARE WHITE PEOPLE SO FAT?

>> Jason: WHAT?

>> WHY ARE, WHY ARE WHITE PEOPLESO FAT?

>> Jason: NO, I HEARD YOU. IT'SJUST VERY OFFENSIVE.

>> WHY ARE WHITE PEOPLE SO LAZY?

>> Jason: YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!

>> I HAVE 30 OTHERS, DO YOU WANTME TO KEEP GOING?

>> Jason: NO. I DON'T WANT YOUTO KEEP GOING.

IS THAT WHAT THIS INTERVIEW ISALL ABOUT? TO MAKE ME LOOK

FOOLISH AS A MINORITY?

THE INTERVIEW IS OVER.

BUT, THE REAL WORK IS BEGINNING.

BECAUSE EVERYWHERE I WENT ININDIA, EVERYONE HAD AN OPINION

ON POLITICS.

>> EVERY PERSON'SASPIRATION, EVERY SINGLE VOTE.

>> Jason: YOU KNOW, I APPRECIATEALL THAT BUT I'VE GOT A LONG,

LONG LINE OF GUYS I'VE GOT TOGET TO.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

EVERYBODY WANTS TO TALK ABOUTPOLITICS.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> Jason: OF COURSE, YOU ALSOWANT TO TALK ABOUT POLITICS.

>> -- LEADERSHIP AND MANAGEMENT.

AND IN A COUNTRY WITH1.2 BILLION PEOPLE, 780 OFFICIAL

LANGUAGES AND 330 MILLION HINDUGODS, CUTTING THROUGH THE NOISE

WAS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE.

>> Jon: JASON JONES, WE'LL BERIGHT BACK!

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