Pill Bill - Volume 1 - Founding Fathers Theater

  • Aired:  03/01/12
  •  | Views: 56,617

Thomas Jefferson heads to a local Walgreens to procure some good, old-fashioned prophylactics. (1:56)

FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE MY OWN WAY

OF DEVINING HOW THE FRAMERS

WOULD REACT TO MODERN

SCENARIOS.

TO FIND OUT JOIN ME AT A

LOCAL WALGREEN'S FOR AN

INSTALLMENT OF THE DAILY

SHOW'S NEW SEGMENT.

AH, YES!

HELLO!

AH, HELLO, HELLO!

AH, YES!

HELLO, MY GOOD A BOTH CARRY.

I AM THOMAS JEFFERSON, I WAS

WONDERING IF I MIGHT PROVE

YOU A QUESTION.

I HAVE THIS SLAVE SALLY--

(LAUGHTER)

>> OF LATE I'VE BEEN

SLIPPING HER A BIT OF THE

OLD VIRGINIA HAM.

(LAUGHTER)

HONEY CURED, IF YOU MUST

KNOW.

(LAUGHTER)

ANYWAY, AS YOU KNOW,

SOMETIMES IN THE COURSE OF

HUMAN EVENTS, THE POINT IS I

DON'T THINK AMERICA'S READY

FOR BLACK JEFFERSONS.

I MEAN NO ONE, NO ONE WOULD

ACCEPT THAT-- OH, OH, AND

WHAT ARE THESE?

RIGHT ON THE OLD JOHN

HANCOCK, EH?

PERFECT.

AND IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'LL

TAKE ANUS WEEKLY, IF YOU

WOULD, AND A PACKAGE OF YOUR

FINEST GUM.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL WE

REALLY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO

END THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

SO I WAS GOING TO BE LIKE

WELL, I'LL JUST [BLEEP] TAKE

THE WIG OFF HOURX ABOUT THAT

I WILL TAKE THE WIG OFF AND

JUST TURN.

(LAUGHTER)

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