Waging Bull

  • Aired:  01/28/14
  •  | Views: 86,380

President Obama prepares to deliver his State of the Union address, and Congress prepares to ignore everything he asks for. (3:54)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW."

I'M JON STEWART.

MY GUEST TONIGHT THE GREAT LOUIECK WILL BE JOINING US THIS

EVENING.

LET'S GO.

THE BIG NEWS TODAY THE STATE OFTHE UNION ADDRESS WHICH JUST

FINISHED.

[ LAUGHTER ]AN HOUR AGO.

[ LAUGHTER ]TALK ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW, OF

COURSE, SINCE WE ALL JUST SAWIT.

[ LAUGHTER ]AND ARE EAGER TO DISCUSS WHAT

HAPPENED ESPECIALLY JOE BIDEN.

[LAUGHTER]WHEN HE FARTED WHICH WAS

SURPRISING IN NUMBER AND VOLUME.

[ LAUGHTER ]APPARENTLY I'M NOT EVEN SURE

WHEN THE PRESIDENT DID A WHOLESTATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS

BECAUSE HE RELEASED THIS VINEABOUT IT YESTERDAY.

>> TOMORROW NIGHT IT'S TIMERESTORE OPPORTUNITY FOR ALL.

TOMORROW NIGHT IT'S TIME TORESTORE OPPORTUNITY FOR ALL.

>> Jon: SO WHY EVEN GO ON WITHTHE SPEECH.

THAT'S ALL YOU NEED.

THE REST OF THE SPEECH IS JUSTJIBBITIY, JABBITY.

THE STATE OF THE UNION IS BLAA.

THE REST IS JUST BLAA.

THE REPUBLICANS COULD GIVE THEIRAWKWARD RESPONSE SPEECH VIAVINE.

>> GOOD EVENING.

GOOD EVENING.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: IT'S SUCH A MORE

EFFICIENT WAY OF INTRODUCING USTO ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO WILL

NEVER BE PRESIDENT.

THE TEA PARTY COULD HAVE THEIRTURN.

>> SOCIALISTS, COMMUNISTS.

>> TYRANNICAL.

>> THEY ARE COMING TO GET YOU,BARBARA.

>> SOCIALIST.

>> COMMUNIST.

>> TYRANNICAL.

>> THEY ARE COMING TO GET YOU,BARBARA.

>> Jon: BOOM DONE AND NOW THEMEDIA WON'T HAVE TO SPEND ALL

NIGHT TRYING TO FILL AIR TIMEWITH ANALYSIS.

>> GOOD SPEECH.

>> BAD SPEECH.

>> GREAT SPEECH.

>> HILLARY.

>> CHRISTIE.

>> 2016.

>> Jon: DONE THREE HOURS OFCABLE ANALYSIS IN SIX SECONDS.

[ LAUGHTER ][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND JUST AS INSIGHTFUL.

IT'S NOT LIKE THE STATE OF THEUNION HAS BEEN PARTICULARLY

EFFECTIVE OF LATE ANYWAY.

THERE'S A STAGGERING STATISTICFOR THE PRESIDENT GOING INTO

TONIGHT'S SPEECH FROM LASTYEAR'S STATE OF THE UNION OUT OF

41 ASKS HE MADE OF CONGRESS HEGOT TWO.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WERE?

RAISING THE DEBT CEILING AND AREAUTHORIZATION OF THE VIOLENCE

AGAINST WOMEN ACT.

>> Jon: THAT'S IT.

SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT THISCONGRESS BUT THEY WILL WHEN

PUSHED RELUCTANTLY CONTINUE TOMAKE IT ILLEGAL TO COMMIT

VIOLENT ACTS AGAINST WOMEN.

[ LAUGHTER ]BUT OF COURSE THIS IS THE

CONGRESS THAT WOULDN'T EVEN BANCRAZY PEOPLE FROM GETTING

ASSAULT RIFLES AFTERNEWTOWN.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT OBAMA THINKSHE'D ACCOMPLISH TALKING TO THOSEIDIOTS.

>> THE PRESIDENT LOOKING TOFORCE POLICY CHANGES ON HIS OWN

WITHOUT CONGRESS.

>> Jon: I'M INTRIGUED.

[ LAUGHTER ]AND INCREASINGLY WILLING TO GO

AGAINST THE CONSTITUTION ANDENTERTAIN THE NOTION OF A

TWO-BRANCH GOVERNMENT.

>> HE'S GOING TO RAISE THEMINIMUM WAGE HIMSELF, AN

EXECUTIVE ORDER TO RAISE THEMINIMUM WAGE.

>> Jon: OF COURSE.

HE WILL DO IT HIMSELF.

HE DOESN'T NEED ANYBODY.

AN EXECUTIVE ORDER JUST HIMALONE IN A ROOM.

IT'S THE MOST AUTO EROTIC FORMOF GOVERNANCE.

[ LAUGHTER ]WHO NEEDS A PARTNER WHENI HAVE

MY HAND HERE.

WITH A PEN IN IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]YES, PRESIDENT OBAMA IS

APPARENTLY NOW IN THE (bleep)STAGE OF HIS PRESIDENCY.

[ LAUGHTER ]YEP.

HE'S DONE TALKING TO THESEPEOPLE.

[ APPLAUSE ]AND NOW HE'S JUST STARTINGSTARTING TO

TICK THINGS OFF HIS (BLEEP) LIST

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