The Empire Cuts Back

  • Aired:  02/26/14
  •  | Views: 101,991

Chuck Hagel announces cuts to the defense budget, and America's best-known Dick announces his feelings on the subject. (4:52)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> YOU KNOW THE UNITED STATES

MAY NOT HAVE WON THE MOST MEDALSAT THIS YEAR'S OLYMPICS.

THERE'S ONE EVENT THAT WE'LLNEVER BE SECOND BEST.

FIGHTING (bleep).

THE UNITED STATES HAS THEGREATEST MILITARY ON THIS

PLANET.

WE LEAD THE WORLD IN SMART BOMBSAND INCREASINGLY STUPID CHILDREN

BUT STILL.

[LAUGHTER]WE'RE ABOUT TO FIX THAT.

THE BOMBS PART.

[ LAUGHTER ]KIDS ARE KIND OF A LOST CAUSE.

>> AFTER 13 YEARS OF WARFARE FORTHIS COUNTRY, THE U.S. NOW HAS A

NEW DEFENSE BATTLE PLAN THATINVOLVES SHRINKING DOWN THE

MILITARY.

>> THE SPENDING PLAN

WOULD SHRINK THE ARMYTO ITS SMALLEST SIZE SINCE THE1930'S BEFORE

WORLD WAR II.

>> Jon: WHAT?

I JUST LOVE THE ARMY.

I JUST LOVE THE ARMY.

[LAUGHTER]WE CAN'T SHRINK THE ARMY.

IT'S A PROCESS THAT'S ONLY BEENTESTED ON OUR KIDS.

[LAUGHTER]AND THEN AFTER THAT OURSELVES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IS THIS GOING TO BE A TRILOGY?

WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE CUTTING?

>> AFTER IRAQ AND AFGHANISTANWE'RE NO LONGER SIZING THE

MILITARY TO CONDUCT LONGSTABILITY OPERATIONS.

THODAY THERE'S 520,000 ACTIVEDUTY SOLDIERS.

WE'VE DECIDED TO FURTHER REDUCETHE ACTIVE DUTY ARMY STRENGTH TO

A RANGE OF 440,000 TO 450SOLDIERS.

>> Jon: 450 THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.

I REALLY DON'T -- 450,000.

THAT'S --[LAUGHTER]

THAT ACTUALLY SHOULD BE FINE.

[ LAUGHTER ]SO WE'RE DEPLOYING TOUGH LOVE TO

MATCH OUR MILITARY SIZE TO OURMILITARY NEEDS.

I THINK THIS IS RIGHT ESPECIALLYSINCE OUR MILITARY SPENDING IS

BIGGER THAN THE NEXT 13COUNTRIES COMBINED.

AS LONG AS WE KEEP THECOMMITMENTS WE'VE ALREADY MADE

TO OUR VETERANS I THINK THAT WEHAVE TO -- I KNOW THAT NOISE.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

THAT CAN'T BE DICK CHENEY.

YES!

HE WHO LIVES IN THE SHADOWS ANDFEEDS OFF THE DARKNESS THE ONE

WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED ALTHOUGH INAMED HIM.

>> I'VE NOT BEEN A STRONGSUPPORTER OF BARACK OBAMA BUT

THIS REALLY IS OVER THE TOP.

THERE'S ENORMOUS LONG TERMDAMAGE TO THE MILITARY. THEY

ARE BASICALLY MAKING THEDECISION, THE OBAMA

ADMINISTRATION, THAT THEY NOLONGER WANT TO BE DOMINANT ON

THE SEAS AND THE SKY AND INSPACE AND THEIR BUDGET REFLECTS

THAT.

>> Jon: YES, YES THE COMMANDERIN CHIEF AND THE SECRETARY OF

DEFENSE WANT THE U.S. TO BE WEAKAND DEFENSELESS BECAUSE ONLYTHEN CAN THE CHINESE

COME IN, ROLL US OVER ON OURBELLIES, AND TICKLE US TIL OURLEG SHAKES. YOU'D BETTER HAVE ABETTER ARGUMENT THAN THAT.

>> HE'D RATHER SPEND THEMONEY ON FOOD STAMPS THAN HEWOULD ON A

STRONG MILITARY OR SUPPORT FORTHE TROOPS.

>> Jon: WHO USES FOOD STAMPS ABUNCH OF WEAK, MOOCHER CLASSDEAD

BEATS.

PROBABLY NEVER WORKED A DAY INTHEIR LIVES.

>> A LOT OF FOOD STAMPS GO TOMILITARY FAMILIES.

MILITARY FAMILIES MORE RELIANTON FOOD STAMPS IN 2013 THAN ANYPREVIOUS YEAR.

OVER 100 MILLION IN FOOD STAMPSAT MILITARY GROCERY STORES.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: SHREWD MOVE, OBAMA

TAKING FOOD OUT OF MOUTHS OF MENAND WOMEN IN UNIFORM AND PUTTING

IT BACK IN THEIR MOUTHS.

BUT HERE IS WHERE AMERICA'S BESTKNOWN DICK REALLY MAKES HIS

MARK.

>> THE WHOLE THING IS NOT DRIVENBY ANY CHANGE IN WORLD

CIRCUMSTANCE IT'S DRIVEN BYBUDGET CONSIDERATION.

>> Jon: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOUMAKE DICK DICK CHENEY THE

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE THERE'S NOWAY HE WOULD LET SOME [BLEEP]BUDGET CONSTRAINTS FORCE HIM TO

CUT THE TROOP COUNT BY THE5.9% PROPOSED.

>> THE BUDGET WE SUBMITTED TOCONGRESS IN THE LAST FEW WEEKS

CALLS FOR APPROXIMATELY A 25%REDUCTION IN FORCE STRUCTURE

BETWEEN NOW AND 1995 AND 1996.

>> Jon: YEAH, BECAUSE YOUWOULD HAVE TO CUT 25% TROOPS

BECAUSE 5.9% CUTS IS FORPUSSIES.

SO WHEN YOU WERE IN THEPENTAGON, DICK CHENEY, YOU MADEMUCH

GREATER CUTS THAN THEY AREMAKING NOW.

WHAT WAS YOUR REASONING FOR THATAGAIN?

>> WE REDUCED FORCESDELIBERATELY BASED ON CONTINUING

REEVALUTATIONS OF THE STRATEGICENVIRONMENT.

BOTTOM LINE IS THE ONLY WAYI KNOW TO CUT BUDGET IS TO CUTTHE BUDGET.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT NEVERCHANGES ABOUT DICK CHENEY?

HE IS A BIGGER HYPOCRITE THANTHE NEXT 13 HYPOCRITES COMBINED.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

Loading...