A Few Very Specific Men

  • Aired:  08/15/12
  •  | Views: 87,883

John Oliver and reality show casting agent Vinnie Potestivo hold a Democratic National Convention casting call to find and exploit the right Americans. (5:52)

>> Jon: (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) HEY, WELCOME BACK!

AS YOU KNOW, THE TWO MAJOR POLITICAL PARTIES' CONVENTIONS ARE NEARLY UPON US.

LESS THAN TWO WEEKS UNTIL REPUBLICANS GATHER IN TAMPA TO NOMINATE MITT ROMNEY AND

DEMOCRATS GET TOGETHER IN CHARLOTTE THE WEEK AFTER AND THEY'RE SCHEDULING SURPRISE GUESTS.

>> WHAT THEY'D LIKE TO HAVE ARE SOME REPUBLICANS ON TWO... AT

LEAST TWO OF THE THREE NIGHTS.

THEY ALSO WANT TO HAVE A REPUBLICAN WOMAN.

IT SOUNDS LIKE THEY KNOW WHO THEY HAVE IN MIND FOR THAT ONE,

CALLING THAT WOMAN SORT OF A BIG NAME AND A BIG GUEST.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: ACTUALLY, A RECENTLY LEAKED MEMO SHOWS THE DEMOCRATS ARE ACTIVELY CASTING THE ENTIRE CONVENTION.

SEEKING "REAL PEOPLE LIKE AN AUTOWORKER WHOSE JOB WAS SAVED,

A STUDENT WHO BENEFITED FROM COLLEGE LOANS AND A PLANNED PARENTHOOD HUSBAND WHO TALKS

ABOUT HOW A PAP SMEAR SAVED HIS WIFE'S LIFE." (LAUGHTER) WORD OF ADVICE: YOU MIGHT WANT

TO LOWER THE BAR TO A GUY WHO KNOWS WHAT A PAP SMEAR IS.

(LAUGHTER) HERE'S ONE OF THE TOUGHER GETS.

DEXIC CONVENTION PLANNERS ARE NOW APPARENTLY SEEKING A GAY SOLDIER AND A FELLOW STRAIGHT

SOLDIER WHO SERVED TOGETHER IN IRAQ OR AFGHANISTAN AND IDEALLY THE STRAIGHT SOLDIER WAS HELPED

BY THE GAY SOLDIER, I.E., MEDIC OR IN A FIRE FIGHT.

(LAUGHTER) IT'S A LITTLE COMPLICATED.

PROBABLY EASIER THAN THEIR FINAL GET, A COP WHO RESCUES A CONSTRUCTION WORKER WHO'S BEEN

BUILDING A HOUSE FOR A NEWLY MARRIED COWBOY, AN INCREDIBLY IN SHAPE INDIAN CHIEF WHO ARE

FRIENDS WITH THAT MOTORCYCLE GUY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) BUT IF THE DEMOCRATS ARE GOING TO BE ABLE TO PULL OFF SUCH A

CRAVEN EVENT, THEY'RE GOING TO NEED SOME HELP.

JOHN SOL OLIVER'S ON THE CASE.

>> THE CONVENTION STARTS IN JUST ONE WEEK AND I HAD NINE MILLION

STORIES TO GET THROUGH TO MEET THE D.N.C.'S LUDICROUSLY NARROW CASTING PARAMETERS.

I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TIME.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR HE?

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE.

>> I DO REAL ESTATE DEVELOPMENT.

>> OKAY.

AND...

>> I'M GAY.

>> GREAT.

GAY AND IN THE ARMY?

>> NOT IN THE ARMY.

>> SO YOU ARE JUST GAY.

>> JUST GAY.

>> GAY AND NOTHING USEFUL.

WHAT ARE WE DEALING WITH HERE?

GIVE ME SOMETHING I CAN USE.

>> SORRY?

>> TELL ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE.

>> I'M DOMINICAN.

>> IS THERE ANY OTHER PART OF YOUR LIFE THAT CAN BE MANIPULATED FOR POLITICAL GAIN?

>> NO.

I MEAN, BEING AN IMMIGRANT AND A WOMAN ARE PRETTY IMPORTANT.

>> WHEN WAS YOUR LAST PAP SMEAR?

>> EXCUSE ME?

>> COME ON!

CLEARLY THE D.N.C. NEEDED PROFESSIONAL HELP.

SOMEONE LIKE VINNIE WHO'S CAST REALITY SHOWS LIKE "MILLIONAIRE

MATCH MAKER" "PREGNANT IN HEELS" AND THAT SHOW WHERE JERSEY WOMEN

TRY TO THROW TABLES AT EACH OTHER." WE

>> WE'RE NOT LOOKING TO MANIPULATE PEOPLE.

>> WE'RE NOT LOOKING TO MANIPULATE PEOPLE, JUST FIND THEM AND EXPLOIT THEM.

>> THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE TODAY-TO-DO TODAY.

>> THAT'S WHY I'VE COME TO THE RIGHT MAN.

SO THE ULTIMATE D.N.C. CASTING CALL BEGAN.

BUT IT DIDN'T START WELL.

SO THE D.N.C. IS LOOKING FOR A PAIR OF SIBLINGS, ONE OF WHOM IS LEGAL AND ONE OF WHOM IS ILLEGAL.

WHICH ONE OF YOU IS ILLEGAL?

>> THAT'S OFFENSIVE TO IMPLY THAT.

>> I UNDERSTAND IT'S OFFENSIVE,

BUT IT'S IMPORTANT.

IS IT ALLOWED TO ASK TO SEE YOUR PAPERWORK?

OKAY, IT'S NOT ALOUD.

FORGET I SAID THAT.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU COULD BE AMERICA'S NEXT GREAT POLITICAL PROP?

>> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT'S WHAT THIS WAS FOR.

>> VINNIE, ARE YOU (BLEEP)ING KIDDING ME?

YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME.

>> HE NEEDS TO BE REELECTED OTHERWISE THE COUNTRY GOES BACK 50 YEARS.

>> LOVE THE ENERGY.

I JUST WISH I HAD THIS (BLEEP) IN BLACK.

(LAUGHTER)

>> I'LL KEEP LOOKING.

>> AS THE HOURS WENT BY, THE MORE HOPELESS THIS SEARCH SEEMED.

ARE YOU GAY?

>> NO.

>> ARE YOU A SOLDIER?

>> NO.

>> ARE YOU BLACK?

>> YES.

>> YES?

YES.

ARE YOU ILLEGAL?

>> NO.

>> WAS YOUR LIFE SAVE BADE PAP SMEAR?

>> NO.

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

GET OUT.

>> THEN, AT LAST, THERE WAS A GLIMMER OF HOPE.

>> I'M LESBIAN, I'M LATIN AND I SUPPORT THE PRESIDENT.

>> ANY CHANCE IN YOUR OPINION THE MILITARY?

>> NO (BLEEP).

>> WE WERE SO CLOSE.

SO CLOSE.

WE TRIED YOU NEXT TO THE PRESIDENT TO SEE HOW THE VISUALS OF THIS LOOK.

THAT'S A LITTLE... RIGHT.

CAN WE JUST FOR THE SAKE OF TRYING IT CAN WE TRY THIS IN A WHEELCHAIR?

(AUDIENCE REACTS) I LOVE THE OPTICS OF THIS.

IT WAS GOOD BUT IT WASN'T CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA, GOOD.

THEN FINALLY VINNIE DELIVERED.

>> I WAS IN THE ARMY.

>> YES.

DID YOU SERVE IN IRAQ OR AFGHANISTAN?

>> I DID TWO TOURS IN IRAQ.

>> ARE YOU GAY?

>> NO.

>> WERE YOU EVER SAVED WHILE SERVING OVERSEAS BY A GAY PERSON?

>> I COULD HAVE BEEN.

>> HE'S PERFECT!

>> CLOSE.

>> IT'S NOT CLOSE!

>> NOT IT, CLOSE.

>> IT IS IT.

THIS IS THE GUY!

HE'S THE THING.

>> I APPRECIATE YOUR WORK BUT I CAN DO BETTER.

>> AS I WATCHED THE D.N.C.'S LAST HOPE WALK OUT OF THE DOOR,

I HAD TO TRUST VINNIE COULD PULL OFF A MIRACLE.

>> I WAS BORN IN LOS ANGELES.

>> UH-HUH.

AMERICAN BORN.

>> I JOINED THE MARINE CORPS.

>> MILITARY BACKGROUND.

>> I ENDED UP GOING TO IRAQ FOR MOST OF 2007.

>> SERVED IN IRAQ.

FUL CHRIS, ARE YOU GAY?

>> YES.

>> YES!

YES!

YES!

CONGRATULATIONS, CHRIS!

YOU ARE AMERICA'S NEXT GREAT POLITICAL PROP!

YOU ARE GOING TO CHARLOTTE!

>> YOU'RE THE BEST.

>> THE BEST!

YOU'RE WELCOME, D.N.C.

SEE YOU IN CHARLOTTE.

>> Jon: WOW, THAT WAS INCREDIBLE.

GREAT JOB.

I CANNOT BELIEVE IN THAT AMOUNT OF TIME YOU FOUND SOMEONE WHO MET THE DEMOCRATS' CRITERIA.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

AND IT WASN'T EASY.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?

>> WELL, JON, I WAS TAUGHT A VALUABLE LESSON CHOOSING THIS.

THAT LESSON IS NEVER ASK A TRAINED MARINE WAR VETERAN IF HIS LIFE WAS SAVED BY A PAP SMEAR.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: THANK YOU VERY MUCH,

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