Mess O' the Whole Potamia Region - Libya Uprising

  • Aired:  02/24/11
  •  | Views: 161,082

A populist uprising is finally about to take Muammar al-Gaddafi down, and America has to share the credit with Osama bin Laden. (6:53)

I'M TALKING DELI TALK.

THE TURMOIL IN NORTH AFTERNOON A

OR WHAT WE PERSIST IN CALLING

MESS O'THE WHOLE POTAMIA REGION.

THE REVOLUTION WAVE THAT BEGAN

IN TUNISIA AND SPREAD TO EGYPT

MAY WELL SURPRISE EVEN

EXPERIENCED OBSERVERS OF THIS

REGION.

BUT A PEOPLE'S REVOLT IN LIBYA,

A COUNTRY POSSESSING A RARE

COMBINATION OF MASSIVE OIL

RESERVES, WIDESPREAD POVERTY AND

A BAT (BEEP) LEADER WHO ON A

GOOD DAY RESEMBLES A WAX FIGURE

OF DAN ANY TREJO THAT'S BEEN

LEFT OUT IN THE SUN...

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

THE UPRISING'S TARGET, PRESIDENT

FOR WHAT LITTLE REMAINS OF HIS

LIFE, MOAMMAR QADDAFI...

(LAUGHTER)

... HAS ALWAYS DEFIED

DESCRIPTION.

ALTHOUGH I PERSONALLY FAVOR WHAT

WOULD HAPPEN IF JIM HENSON HAD

MADE A MUPPET VERSION OF PRINCE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> YOUNG REVOLUTIONARY, 1970s

HIPSTER, PROUD BEDOUIN AND AS

THE LONDON PRESS DESCRIBED HIM,

A CROSS BETWEEN MICHAEL JACKSON

AND FILL SPECTER.

HATES ELEVATORS, LOVES FLAMENCO.

>> Jon: THAT'S FROM HIS

E-HARMONY PROFILE.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT, BY THE WAY, LOVE FLAS

MENTION CO-, HATESS ELEVATORS,

EXPLAINS WHY QADDAFI INVENTED

THE FLA-MESCALATOR.

THAT INVENTION PLUS OIL RESERVES

MADE HIM A WEALTHY MAN.

NOW, QADDAFI, WHO UNNAMED

SOURCES HAVE SAID RESEMBLES A

1991 LIE FELL RICHIE AFTER HE'D

TAKEN A QUICK PEEK INSIDE THE

ARK OF THE COVENANT...

(LAUGHTER)

WE HAVE LIKE A HUNDRED OF THESE

AND I HAVE TO GET THEM OUT.

WE DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THIS GUY

IS GOING TO LAST AND THESE

DESCRIPTIONS ARE...

(LAUGHTER)

QADDAFI'S ALREADY LOST CONTROL

OF LIBYA'S EASTERN HALF,

INCLUDING THE CITY OF BENGHAZI

WHERE WEDNESDAY CROWDS TOOK TO

THE STREETS TO CELEBRATE THEIR

FREEDOM AND VENT DECADES OF

SUPPRESSED RAGE AT LARRY FROM

THE THREE STOOGES.

(LAUGHTER)

I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY'RE KICKING

THAT GUY.

SINCE THE UNREST BEGAN, QADDAFI

HAS TAKEN A VARIETY OF TACKS TO

CONNECT WITH THOSE IN THE

COUNTRY STILL LOYAL TO HIM.

SUCH AS REMINDING THEM HOW

IMPORTANT THEY ARE TO HIM.

>> ( translated ): WITH THE

SWORD... OH, IT'S RAINING, I WAS

GOING TO TALK TO THE YOUTH IN

GREEN SQUARE AND SPEND THE NIGHT

WITH THEM TONIGHT BUT IT IS

RAINING.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: YES, I TRULY DID WANT TO

RAISE MY CITIZEN'S SOLIDARITY

WITH THOSE WHO WILL SOON BE

BATTLING THE DETERMINED

OPPOSITION IN WHICH WHAT WILL BE

A FIGHT TO THE DEATH, BUT, YOU

KNOW, THE HUMIDITY...

(LAUGHTER)

MY THEIR THE RAIN, I GET LIKE A

CRAZY JEW-FRO.

SOON THEREAFTER QADDAFI REALIZED

HE WOULD HAVE TO LOSE THE

UMBRELLA, TAKE THINGS UP A NOTCH

PERHAPS DITCHING THE CHRISTOPHER

WALKEN TRANSLATOR WOULDN'T HURT

EITHER.

>> ( translated ): THOSE WHO

CHALLENGE ANGER, I GREET YOU.

WE DEFIED AMERICA FROM HERE,

AMERICA WITH ITS POWER.

WE DEFIED THE ATOMIC... THE

WORLD ATOMIC POWER.

A SMALL GROUP OF YOUTH WHO HAVE

BEEN GIVEN HALLUCINATION PILLS

ARE RAISING RAZING THE POLICE

STATIONS HERE AND THERE LIKE

RATS.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: A LITTLE CHRISTOPHER

WALKEN WITH A LITTLE BORAT IN

THERE AS WELL.

(LAUGHTER)

SO YOU'RE BLAMING AMERICA AND

THE WORLD'S ATOMIC POWERS AND

WHATEVER THE HELL HALLUCINATION

PILLS ARE.

CLASSIC STUFF.

I'M NOT SURE IT'S GOING TO DO

THE TRICK THIS TIME, QADDAFI.

WITH ALL THE CONSTANT CHANGES

AND NUTTY TALK, IT MAKES YOU

WONDER HOW A GUY LIKE THIS HELD

POWER FOR 42 YEARS.

HE HAS TO HAVE SOMETHING MORE

CONVINCING UP HIS SLEEVE, A

SLEEVE HE APPEARS TO HAVE

BORROWED FROM BROADWAY LEGEND

TINE DALEY.

WE REALLY COULD DUES THIS ALL

NIGHT.

WHAT'S HIS ACE IN THE HOLE?

>> THE LEADER CALLED ON HIS

SUPPORTERS TO ATTACK AND KILL

DEMONSTRATORS, HUNTING THEM DOWN

HOUSE TO HOUSE.

>> A CATASTROPHE FUELED NOT JUST

BY THE LIBYAN MILITARY BUT

REPORTEDLY BY PAID MERCENARIES

FROM NEIGHBORING COUNTRIES.

HIRED GUNS OF CHAD, NIGER AND

ZIMBABWE.

>> OH, THAT'S RIGHT HE'S A

(BEEP), I FORGOT.

HIRING OUTSOURCED AFRICAN

MERCENARYS TO KILL HIS OWN

PEOPLE.

WHERE DO YOU EVEN FIND PEOPLE

WHO WILL L DO THAT JOB?

Actualmonster.com?

(LAUGHTER)

BUT WITH HIS GRIP ON POWER

GROWING MORE TENUOUS BY THE HOUR

AND OLD STANDBYS LIKE AMERICA

HATRED AND BLOODY REPRESSION NOT

WORKING, IT WAS TIME FOR QADDAFI

TO THROW A HAIL MARY, OR

WHATEVER ITS APPROPRIATE

REGIONAL AND RELIGIOUS

EQUIVALENT.

>> ( translated ): ONCE THEY

DRINK THESE PILLS, THEY LET THEM

GO OUT ON THE STREETS AND START

COMMITTING CRIMINAL ACTS.

THOSE ARE THE ONES WHO ARE UNDER

BIN LADEN'S INFLUENCE AND

AUTHORITY.

>> Jon: WHOA!

(LAUGHTER)

WAIT A SECOND.

FOR 42 YEARS YOU FED AMERICA A

TON OF (BEEP), COMMITTED DROOISS

AGAINST US, FINALLY AN UPRISEING

IS GOING TO KICK YOU DOWN AND WE

HAVE TO SHARE CREDIT WITH THIS

GUY?

(LAUGHTER)

WAIT A SECOND, MAYBE IT'S TRUE.

WHICH WOULD MEAN RIGHT NOW LIBYA

IS A FIGHT BETWEEN AFRICAN

MERCENARIES WHO ARE RUTHLESS AND

AL QAEDA.

THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD TIME FOR

THE UNITED STATES TO SLOWLY BACK

OUT OF THE ROOM.

(LAUGHTER)

BECAUSE THAT IS SOME ALIEN

VERSUS PREDATOR [NO AUDIO].

(LAUGHTER)

AND WHILE PRESIDENT OBAMA HAD

REFRAINED FROM PUBLIC STATEMENTS

ON THE LIBYAN CRISIS UNTIL

YESTERDAY, CAREFULLY CAB BRETING

HIS MESSAGE AS TO NOT FURTHER

UNTETHER A MAN WHO EASE CONFUSED

WITH THE BALL FROM CASTWAYWAY,

WILSON, IF WILSON DRESSED LIKE A

JEDI NIGHT... OKAY, WE'RE

RUNNING OUT OF STEAM WITH HIM,

I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU.

OTHER WORLD LEADERS WERE LESS

CIRCUMSTANCE SPECT.

>> ( translated ): IT IS

UNIMAGINABLE THAT THERE IS

SOMEONE WHO THE ABLE TO KILL AND

BOMBARD HIS OWN PEOPLE.

HOW CAN A RULER BOMBARD HIS OWN

PEOPLE AND THEN SAY "I WILL KILL

ANYONE WHO OPPOSES ME"?

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE.

I THINK THE WHOLE WORLD WAS

APPALLED AT WHAT HAPPENED IN

LIBYA.

IT WAS VERY BAD BEHAVIOR AND I

HOPE THEY WILL MAKE UP FOR THAT

AND MEET THEIR PEOPLE'S DEMANDS.

>> Jon: WHAT THE WHAT?

(LAUGHTER)

MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD IS

DISAPPOINTED THAT QADDAFI WOULD

FIRE ON HIS OWN PROTESTING

PEOPLE.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT MAY BE THE

SCARIEST THING ABOUT THIS WHOLE

SITUATION, I THINK IRAN HAS

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