Calvin Trillin

  • Aired:  10/18/11
  •  | Views: 52,657

Calvin Trillin recalls predicting the underwear bomber in 2006 and talks about earning a living by making fun of politicians. (6:01)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT LONG TIME STAFF

WRITER FOR THE "NEW YORKER"

MAGAZINE ALSO "THE NATION"'S

DEADLINE POET.

HI BOOK IS CALLED "QUITE ENOUGH

OF CALVIN TRILLIN: 40 YEARS OF

FUNNY STUFF."

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE

PROGRAM CALVIN TRILLIN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

>> THANK YOU, SIR.

>> YOU GET HANDSOMER AT EACH

SITTING.

>> I THINK DASHING IS A GOOD

WORD.

>> Jon: PEOPLE DON'T USE THAT

ENOUGH.

QUITE ENOUGH OF CALVIN TRILLIN,

THERE CAN NEVER BE ENOUGH OF

CALVIN TRILLIN.

I ENJOY YOUR WRITING SO MUCH AND

I'M GLAD YOU WERE ON THE

PROGRAM.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE

YOU WERE DISCUSSING TERRORISM, I

BELIEVE.

>> YES.

I TALKED ABOUT THE SHOE BOMBER

AND MY NEAR THEY THAT WAS A

PRANK.

>> Jon: WE HAVE THIS ON A CLIP.

I WANT TO SHOW SOME PEOPLE.

HERE'S A CLIP OF CALVIN TRILLIN.

>> THERE'S ONE ARAB TERRORIST

WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR.

HE SAID "I BET I CAN GET THEM

ALL TO TAKE THEIR SHOES OFF IN

AIRPORTS."

(LAUGHTER)

IF THE NEXT ONE IS CALLED

BECAUSE OF HIS M.O. THE

UNDERWEAR BOMBER...

(LAUGHTER)

YOU'LL KNOW I'M ON TO SOMETHING.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: TWO THINGS THAT ARE

UNBELIEVABLE.

ONE YOU PREDICTED THE UNDERWEAR

BOMBER.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Jon: TWO, IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN

YOU'RE WEARING THE EXACT SAME

SHOES.

>> THAT'S MY TERRORIST SUIT THAT

I...

(LAUGHTER)

I AND THEN ON THE MOMENT OF ZEN

YOU SHOWED A CLIP OF THAT HAVE A

FEW MOMENTS AGO AND MY GRANDSON

WHO WAS THEN SEVEN SAID "BOBO

SAID UNDERWEAR ON TELEVISION."

SO I GOT A LOT OF POINTS FOR

THAT.

>> Jon: DOES HE WATCH THE

PROGRAM OFTEN?

THE SEVEN-YEAR-OLD?

>> ONLY WHEN HE CAN'T SLEEP.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: BECAUSE THE SHOW'S

REALLY AIMED FOR FOUR TO

FIVE-YEAR-OLDS.

SO HE'S A LITTLE FLONG THE TOOTH

TO BE A REGULAR VIEWER.

YOU KNOW, DO PEOPLE EVER GET

ANGRY WITH YOU?

BECAUSE YOU REALLY CAN WITH VERY

WELL PLACED BARB, A CERTAIN JEST

YOU CAN REALLY CUT DEEP

SOMETIMES.

DO YOU EVER GET A RESPONSE ON

THAT FROM THEM?

>> WELL, SOMETIMES NOT THE

PEOPLE WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT BUT

SOME OTHER PEOPLE SAID "AREN'T

YOU ASHAMED OF YOURSELF MAKING A

LIVING BY MAKING FUN OF

RESPECTABLE PUBLIC SERVANTS?"

AND MY ONLY DEFENSE IS, IT'S NOT

MUCH OF A LIVING.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT ALSO MY STUFF IN A WAY IS

TOO SILLY TO REPLY TO.

FOR INSTANCE, IN THE LAST

CAMPAIGN I HAD A POEM ABOUT MITT

ROMNEY WHICH WAS: YES MITT SO

SLICK OF SPEECH

AND SLICK OF GARB

HE REMINDS US OF ALL OF KEN

OF KEN AND BARBIE

SO QUICK TO SHED HIS MODERATE

REGALIA

HE MAY, LIKE KEN

BE LACKING GENITALIA

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: (LAUGHS)

>> SO HIS PRESS GUY IS NOT GOING

TO WRITE ME AND SAY "THE

GOVERNOR DOES HAVE GENITALIA."

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S NO USE ARGUING WITH

SOMEBODY LIKE ME.

(LAUGHTER)

AND ALSO I'M... I DON'T RUN INTO

THOSE PEOPLE.

BECAUSE I LIVE IN NEW YORK AND

THEY LIVE IN WASHINGTON.

I SOMETIMES... ABOUT TEN YEARS

AGO I STARTED TO HAVE THIS

NIGHTMARE THAT I WENT TO A

DINNER PARTY AND THEY WERE ALL

THERE IN NEW YORK, I GET EARLY

AND THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IS

STEVE FORBES, REMEMBER HIM?

WITH THE MANIACAL GRIN?

>> Jon: FLAT TAX GUY.

>> YEAH, FLAT TAX AND I TRY TO

BREAK THE ICE, I SAY "YOU MUST

BE WONDERING WHY I KEPT

REFERRING TO YOU IN THE CAMPAIGN

AS A DORK ROBOT."

(LAUGHTER)

AND BEFORE I CAN REPLY AL GORE

COMES ACROSS, HE'S STILL WEARING

HIS EARTH TONE STUFF FROM THE

CAMPAIGN...

(LAUGHTER)

... AND GIVES A VERY WOODEN

SPEECH ABOUT WHY I REFER TO HIM

AS A MAN-LIKE OBJECT.

(LAUGHTER)

THEN HERE COMES SENATOR D'AMATO.

REMEMBER HIM?

>> Jon: SURE, ALFONSE D'AMATO.

>> AND HE'S VERY ANGRY AND I

SAID "WELL, IT'S A MATTER OF

RHYMING, INFORMS A POEM I

INSULTED HIM."

AND D'AMATO... IT RHYMES WITH

TOE MATO SO I CAN'T REALLY SAY

TOE MATO.

BUT IT DOES RIME WITH SLEEZE

BALL OBLIGATO.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

SO I WOULD.

>> Jon: I WOULD IMAGINE A GUY

LIKE GORE YOU COULD HAVE A FIELD

DAY WITH IN TERMS OF RHYMES.

>> OH, GALORE, YES.

>> Jon: RHYMES GALORE.

BORE.

THE WHOLE THING IS REALLY...

HE'S ALMOST SET UP... IT'S

ALMOST ENTRAPMENT IN SOME WAYS.

>> BOB DOLE WITH GOOD TOO WITH

OLD KING COAL AND ESCAROLE.

>> Jon: ROMNEY'S TOUGH.

>> ROMNEY'S VERY BAD.

>> Jon: I THINK YOU WERE RIGHT

TO GO WITH GENITALIA.

(LAUGHTER)

>> ACTUALLY, OBAMA... I HATE TO

COMPLAIN ABOUT THE PRESIDENT BUT

I USED UP ALL THE RHYMES WITH

OSAMA BIN LADEN.

(LAUGHTER)

YOKOHAMA, SLAP YO MAMA.

COME ONNA.

>> Jon: COME ON ALONG.

>> OH, YES, OKAY.

YOU MUST BE A CHAMPION SCRABBLE

PLAYER TO COME UP WITH THAT ONE.

>> Jon: I JUST HIT BEST WORD AND

TRY AND LEAVE THE WORD.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING BY.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: ALWAYS SO ENTERTAINING.

"QUITE ENOUGH OF CALVIN

TRILLIN."

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