Conflict in the Gosling Stripped

  • Aired:  11/26/12
  •  | Views: 111,074

The skirmish between Hamas and Israel ended before it could fulfill the Mayan 2012 prophecy. (6:49)

RELATIVE NAMED JACK.

NO.

(LAUGHTER) ANYWAY, ENOUGH ABOUT ENDLESS INTRACTABLE STRUGGLES AMONGST PEOPLE TO SHARE

SIMILAR DNA.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE MIDDLE EAST.

TRANSITION, TRANSITION.

ANYWAY, SO WHILE WE WERE AWAY THE MIDDLE EAST EXPLODED INTO VIOLENCE, CENTERING ON THE GAZA STRIP.

OKAY, THAT IS-- (LAUGHTER) THAT IS THE GREAT GAZOO CAN WE GET A LOCATER FOR THE

GAZA STRIP, THAT IS GAGA'S LIPS.

THAT'S NOT-- THAT IS GOSLING STRIPPED, THAT'S NOT-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) REALLY?

ALL RIGHT, FINE, LEAVE THAT UP.

THERE YOU GO.

ALL RIGHT.

AT LEAST IT'S SOMETHING NICE TO LOOK AT FOR THE TOUGH STORY.

MUST BE WEIRD TO BE THAT DUDE.

(LAUGHTER) WALKING INTO A ROOM AND PEOPLE GO-- AAAHHHH!

ANYWAY WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING IN THE GOSLING STRIP.

>> THE FIRST BUS BOMBING IN TEL AVIV IN EIGHT YEARS.

>> ROUGHLY 850 ROCKETS HAVE BEEN FIRED AT ISRAEL FROM GAZA.

>> A SENIOR ISRAELI OFFICIAL SAYS ISRAEL IS READY FOR A GROUND INVASION.

>> WE KNOW TEN MEMBERS OF ONE FAMILY, ALSO TWO MEDIA CENTERS.

>> THAT WAS A RATHER LARGE EXPLOSION.

(LAUGHTER) AND A RATHER NONPLUSED REACTION I MIGHT ADD.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, ANDERSON COOPER, DO YOU HAVE TO RUN TOWARDS EVERY SINGLE DANGER.

SOMEBODY GET HIM OUT OF THERE!

TELL HIM THERE'S A TORNADO HEADED TOWARDS A KNIFE STORE OR SOMETHING.

(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I THINK I FOUND A WAY TO SOLVE THIS CONFLICT.

(LAUGHTER) SOMEBODY NEEDS TO SURRENDER SOME HOLY LAND.

TAKE SOME SOJOURNERS TO THE DOME OF THE [BLEEP].

(LAUGHTER) THAT'S GOOD.

RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF THE HEAD.

(LAUGHTER) ALL RIGHT.

SO THE FIGHTING BEGAN LAST WEEK WHEN HAMAS LAUNCHED HUNDREDS OF ROCKETS AT ISRAEL WHICH WERE, I GUESS,

IN RETALIATION FOR ISRAEL KILLING THE HEAD OF HAMAS'S MILITARY WHICH SOME WAY WAS

ACTUALLY A RETALIATION FOR HAMAS HOLDING AN ISRAELI SOLLIER HOSTAGE FOR FIVE YEARS WHICH MIGHT HAVE BEEN,

I DON'T KNOW RETALIATION FOR ISRAELI SETTLEMENT EXPANSION WHICH WAS IN RETALIATION

FROM WHAT I HEARD-- YOU KNOW ALSO'S GO BACK TO WHEN THIS THING STARTED.

>> Jon: THIS THING HAS GOT DEEP ROOTS.

BUT THIS GO-ROUND ISRAEL HAD A NEW TRICK UP ITS SLEEVE.

>> ISRAEL HAS A NEW TOOL IN ITS MULTIPLAYER MISSILE DEFENSE SYSTEMNESS WITH THE

IRON DOME PROVED ITSELF TO BE VERY EFFECTIVE.

>> Jon: IRON DOME THAT SOUNDS AWESOME.

WHAT IS THAT, DON'T TELL ME WHAT THAT IS YET.

JUST-- I'M GOING TO SEE IF I CAN FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF.

YOU SEE IF I'M RIGHT.

JUST TELL ME.

>> THE IRON DOME, ISRAEL'S HOME GROUP DEFENSE SHIELD.

>> THE SYSTEM IS DESIGNED TO PROTECT POPULATED AREAS, ALLOWING NONTHREATENING

SHORT RANGE MISSILES TO DROP INTO OPEN FIELDS OR WATER AND INTERCEPTING THOSE HEADED FOR CITIES-- .

>> Jon: OH.

THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A YAR MULL CAN-- YARMULKE.

(APPLAUSE) BUT MISSILE DEFENSE SYSTEM SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD TOO.

HEY, LISTEN F ANYBODY IS INTERESTED IN MY DESIGN YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME.

HERE WE ARE AGAIN, THANKFULLY THIS SKIRMISH ENDED BEFORE IT COULD FULFILL THE MYAN 2012 PROPHECY.

>> SERIOUS NEGOTIATIONS HAVE RESULTED IN A CEASE-FIRE IN THE MIDDLE EAST BETWEEN

ISRAEL AND HAMAS.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW ARE YOU IN A DIFFICULT PART 69 WORLD WHEN EVEN THE PEACE

NEGOTIATIONS ARE FURIOUS.

I'LL STOP SHOOTING.

>> NO, I'LL STOP SHOOTING!

THERE IS SUCH A DEPRESSIONING CYCLICAL STATUS QUO WHERE THE UNTENABLE UNDERLYING

CONDITIONS ARE NEVER ADDRESSED.

THERE ARE NO WINNERS HERE.

OR TO PUT THAT A DIFFERENT WAY.

>> WHO WAS THE BIG WINNER DO YOU THINK HERE?

>> TWO CLEAR WIN ESCHES.

>> WHO ARE THE LOSERS AND WHO ARE THE WINNERS?

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: YOU REALLY MISS THE ELECTION, DON'T YOU?

EVERYTHING ABOUT THE WINNERS AND LOSERS IN THE HORSE RACE?

EVEN INTRACTABLE BLOODSHED, JUST ANOTHER CHANCE TO CHECK THIS ON WHOSE INCREMENTALLY

UPPER INCREMENTALLY DOWN.

BY THE WAY WINNERS AND LOSERS, THERE WHAT GAME, SANDILAND?

(LAUGHTER) HUNGRY HUNGRY HEBREWS?

OR MAYBE IT'S THE OLD FAMILY FAVORITE MONOTONY.

WHERE VIOLENCE IS A DAY-TO-DAY NORM.

A GAME WHERE ANGRILY FLIPPING OVER THE BOARD IS HOW YOU START.

(LAUGHTER) AND DON'T GET THEM STARTED ON WHERE YOU CAN PUT UP HOUSES.

>> YOU CAN'T PUT UP A HOUSE ON BALTIC AVENUE, I OWN BALTIC AVENUE, SPOT CALLING

IT BALTIC AVENUE IT'S CALLED THE DARK PURPLE TERRITORIES AND IT WAS GIVEN TO MY

PEOPLE BEFORE THIS GAME WAS EVEN INVENTED.

NOW GET YOUR THIMBLE OFF MY SCHNAUZER.

NO, NO WINNERS!

>> THERE IS A MILITARY SIDE OF THIS WHICH IS ISRAEL CLEARLY WON.

>> Jon: OH, YES, ISRAEL CLEARLY WON, ISRAEL IS IN GREAT SHAPE NOW.

THERE IS NO WINS!

>> HAMAS EMERGES AS A BIG WINNER FROM THIS CONFLICT.

>> HAMAS IS THE WINNER HERE.

>> Jon: SO ISRAEL WON.

AND HAMAS WON.

DID I SAY NO WINS.

I MEANT TWO WINNERS.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA IS A WINNER HERE, NETANYAHU IS A WINNER HERE, HILLARY CLINTON

IS A WINNER HERE.

>> EGYPT IS DEFINITELY EMERGED AS THE WIN NEVER ALL OF THIS.

>> Jon: DID ANYBODY LOSE THIS [BLEEP] THING!

DID ANYBODY LOUIS?

DID ANYBODY ACTUALLY LOSE IN THIS BLOODY CONFLICT THAT KILLED OVER 150 PEOPLE?

>> THE LOSER IN ALL THIS IS MAHMOUD ABBAS.

>> IRAN IS THE MAIN LOSER OF THIS CONFLICT.

>> Jon: SO THE ONLY TWO LOSERS IN THE WAR BETWEEN ISRAEL AND GAZA ARE THE

PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIVE IN EITHER OF THOSE PLACES.

(LAUGHTER) SO THE LESSON HERE IS THE NEXT TIME YOUR REGION DESCENDS INTO A WAR YOU HAVE

GOT TO BE IN IT TO WIN

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