Sean of the Fled - Stay Mr. Hannity, Stay

  • Aired:  01/27/14
  •  | Views: 98,834

Governors Rick Scott and Rick Perry sell Sean Hannity on their respective states, but Nathan Lane, Tim Gunn and the cast of "Jersey Boys" make a strong counter argument. (5:10)

[LAUGHTER]SO HANNITY WANTS TO RELOCATE.

IT'S A PRETTY SWEET PRIZE ANDOPPORTUNITY FOR FLORIDA GOVERNOR

RICK SCOTT.

>> SEAN, COME ON DOWN.

LOOK AT OUR WEATHER.

YOU PROBABLY HAVE A JACKETTODAY.

WE'RE IN SHORT SLEEVES, THEFISHING CAPITAL OF THE WORLD.

>> Jon: BETWEEN THE GATORS ANDTHE POSSUMS AND PALMETTO BUGS NOONE

HERE HAS EVEN NOTICED I'M AHAIRLESS SNAKE MAN!

I'M A HAIRLESS SNAKE MAN.

I RUN YOUR STATE AND I'M AHAIRLESS SNAKE --

[LAUGHTER][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HE DID THAT WITHOUT ME EVENPLAYING A NOTE.

SCOTT'S REPTILIAN PAST LEAVES ANOPENING FOR RICK PERRY TO WOO

HANNITY.

>> I'M A MAN NOT WANTED IN THESTATE I WAS BORN IN ANYMORE AND

THERE ARE TWO STATES ON MY LIST,TEXAS AND FLORIDA.

>> THE OLD MOTTO ABOUT TEXASBEING THE FRIENDSHIP STATE, IT

SHOWS THROUGH IN HOW WE TREATPEOPLE AND YOU ARE CERTAINLY --

YOU CERTAINLY KNOW YOU AREWELCOME AND YOU'LL BE TREATED

LIKE A TRUE FRIEND.

>> Jon: THAT'S ALL HE ISLOOKING FOR.

[ LAUGHTER ]FRIEND, JUST LOOKING FOR A PLACE

WHERE THE GOVERNOR IS INCLUSIVEOF ALL PEOPLE EVEN THOSE WHO

DISAGREE WITH HIM.

A GOVERNOR WHO WOULD NEVERSUGGEST IF YOU DON'T FIT THE

MAJORITY MOLD OR LIKE THEIRPOLITICS YOU BEST MOVE ON.

LIKE HOW IN TEXAS GAY MARRIAGEIS ILLEGAL.

>> TEXANS HAVE MADE A DECISIONABOUT MARRIAGE, AND THAT IF

THERE'S SOME OTHER STATE THATHAS A MORE LENIENT VIEW THAN

TEXAS, MAYBE IT'S A BETTER PLACEFOR THEM TO LIVE.

>> Jon: WOW, SOUNDS KIND OFWHAT SEAN HATES ABOUT OUR

GOVERNOR.

I GUESS IT'S CALLED THEFRIENDSHIP STATE BECAUSE A LOT

OF PEOPLE THERE ARE ONLY ALLOWEDTO BE FRIENDS.

SO SEAN HANNITY IS DISGUSTED!

DISGUSTED!

HE IS DISGUSTED AT THE NEW YORKGOVERNOR'S INTOLERANCE.

HE IS THREATENING TO MOVE TO APLACE WHOSE GOVERNOR SAID PRETTY

MUCH THE EXACT SAME THING.

HE HAS A CASE OF SELECTIVEUNDERGARMENT BUNCHING OR SUB.

[ LAUGHTER ]SO WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON HERE?

>> I WOULDN'T PAY A 10% STATETAX IN FLORIDA OR TEXAS.

I WOULD SAVE A LOT OF MONEY.

>> Jon: OH, RIGHT.

I HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW MUCH THETAKERS IN THIS STATE HAVE BEEN

EXPLOITING HIS SUCCESS.

BECAUSE IF HE GOES THERE'S ONELESS STATE-FUNDED COCAINE PARTY

FOR OUR HOMELESS.

WE MUST KEEP HIM.

BUT HOW?

[LAUGHTER]>> WE KNOW YOU ARE MAD AT US AND

YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE,OCCUPY WALL STREET, GOVERNOR

CUOMO, THAT WEIRD SMELL, NEWYORKERS MADE A LOT OF BIG

MISTAKES BUT WE'RE GOING TOCHANGE.

JUST PLEASE STAY.

>> STAY.

>> STAY.

>> WE CAN'T LOSE YOU.

STAY.

>> YO SEAN MAN, YOU CAN'T LEAVEWE NEED YOU DOG.

>> I WILL LOSE MY ACCENT IF YOUSTAY.

LET'S GRAB A BEER AND WATCH THEGAME.

HOW IS THAT?

>> WE'LL MAKE SEX IN THE CITYTOURS SEAN AND THE CITY TOURS.IF YOU STAY, WE'LL CUT OFF OURHOODIES.

>> WE'RE IN LOVE BUT WE'LL MARRYWOMEN INSTEAD. WE'LL STOPSELLING HALAL FOOD. WE'LL SELLAPPLE PIE.

>> THAT KEYSTONE PIPELINE WE'LLRUN IT THROUGH CENTRAL PARK NO

(bleep) PROBLEM.

>> WHAT IS A HOODIE WITHOUT AHOOD?

>> THE CITY DEPENDS UPON JOBCREATORS LIKE YOU, SEAN.

WE'LL GIVE YOU THE PERKS YOUDESERVE.

>> WE'LL NAME A STREET AFTERREAGAN.

HELL, WE'LL NAME THEM ALLAFTER REAGAN.

>> WORRIED ABOUT YOUR COMMUTEHOME, NO PROBLEM.

>> THIS A-TRAIN IS NOW RUNNINGDIRECTLY TO SEAN'S HOUSE.

>> PLEASE.

STAY.

>> STAY.

>> STAY.

♪ STAY MR. HANNITY STAY ♪ WHAT WILL WE DO IF YOU HAVE

GONE AWAY ♪♪ WHO WOULD WE TAX TILL HISMONEY WAS

GONE WHO WOULD WE IMPOSESOCIALISM UPON ♪

♪ STAY MR. HANNITY, STAYPRO-LIFE AND ANTI-GAY ♪

♪ STAY IN YOUR SECOND HOME DON'TDISAPPEAR FOREVER LIKE ALAN

COLMES ♪♪ PLEASE, MR. HANNITY, PLEASE

♪♪ KEEP YOUR UNIQUE BRAND OF FARRIGHT

INSANITY SAFELY AWAY FROM THEREST OF HUMANITY.

♪ STAY MR. HANNITY, STAY♪ WHATEVER THE GOVERNOR MAY DO

OR SAY REMAIN IN THE STATETHAT FILLS YOU WITH HATE ♪

♪ STAY MR. HANNITY STAY ♪ WON'T YOU STAY

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> ON SECOND THOUGHT WHO GIVES A

(bleep) WHAT YOU DO.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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