Madison Men - Douche Fever Strikes Wisconsin

  • Aired:  06/06/12
  •  | Views: 52,745

Samantha Bee reports that normally mild-mannered Wisconsinites, incensed by the failed effort to recall Governor Scott Walker, are showing symptoms of douche fever. (3:06)

ELECTION.

IT MIGHT JUST BE B THE BOOST WE NEED.

(LAUGHTER) AS IN ANY STATEWIDE RECALL ELECTION, IT'S NOT WHO WINS OR

LOSES, IT'S THE DEFINITIVE CONCLUSIONS WE CAN INFER FROM THEM.

FOR THE RIGHT...

>> THE UNIONS TOOK IT ON THE CHIN.

>> DESTRUCTION OF THE UNION POWER.

>> THIS IS A DEVASTATING BLOW TO UNIONS TONIGHT.

DEVASTATING.

>> Jon: WOW, I PICKED THE WRONG YEAR TO OPEN MY GIANT INFLATABLE PLACARD STORE.

(LAUGHTER) PERHAPS THE LEFT HAS A MORE MEASURED INTERPRETATION.

>> IF THE REPUBLICANS CAN USE POLICY AT THE STATE LEVEL TO KILL UNIONS, THERE WILL NO

LONGER BE TWO SIDES COMPETING WHEN IT COMES TO BIG MONEY IN ELECTIONS.

REPUBLICANS WILL ESSENTIALLY BE RUNNING UNOPPOSED.

FOREVER.

ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

>> EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU OUT THERE IN THE NATION, IF YOU'RE WATCHING, DEMOCRACY DIED TONIGHT.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: WAY TO GO, WISCONSIN!

THANKS FOR KILLING DEMOCRACY,

ASS (BLEEP).

(LAUGHTER) FOR MORE WE TURN TO SAMANTHA BEE IN MADISON, WISCONSIN.

MADISON, WISCONSIN, SAMANTHA BEE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) WHAT'S IT LIKE UP THERE?

>> WELL, JON, I DON'T KNOW IF DEMOCRACY LOST OR IF UNIONS ARE DEAD OR WHAT.

ALL I KNOW IS I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO THE PEOPLE OF WISCONSIN!

>> PEOPLE HERE ARE VERY UPSET AS YOU COULD IMAGINE HERE.

A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE POURED THEIR LIVES INTO THIS RECALL EFFORT.

>> YEAH, THIS IS A CRIMINAL.

>> THAT'S THE CRIMINAL?

>> CRIMINAL OVERTONES.

>> YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT MOTHER (BLEEP)S.

>> Jon: THAT'S A TON OF ANGER.

>> AND THIS FROM WISCONSINITES,

THE NICEST, CALMEST, MOST NONSHOUTY PEOPLE YOU'LL EVER MEET.

WISCONSINITES ARE THE CLOSEST THING THIS COUNTRY HAS TO CANADIANS.

FRIENDLY, GENEROUS,

EVEN-TEMPERED.

BUT THIS RECALL HAS CHANGED ALL OF THAT.

>> THE MILWAUKEE MAYOR WAS SLAPPED WHILE GIVING PERSONAL THANKS TO SOME OF HIS SUPPORTERS

AFTER THAT CONCESSION SPEECH.

APPARENTLY THE WOMAN WHO SLAPPED THE MAYOR WAS NOT HAPPY HE CONCEDED WHILE VOTES WERE STILL

BEING COUNTED.

>> Jon: HOLY CRAP!

THAT LITTLE WOMAN SLAPPED THE CANDIDATE SHE SUPPORTED!

YOU EXPECT THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR IN NEW YORK.

>> NO QUESTION!

NEW YORKERS ARE A *S (BLEEP)S.

>> Jon: TOTALLY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) MASSIVE DICK HEADS.

BUT NOW WISCONSIN HAS TASTED THE DOUCHEY-NESS.

THEY'VE GOT DOUCHE FEVER.

IT'S THE CONTAGION SCENARIO WE'VE ALWAYS FEARED.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Jon: IS IT TO TOO LATE TO STOP DOUCHE FEVER?

WHAT CAN WE DO?

>> THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO RESTORE NICENESS TO WISCONSIN.

WE CANADIANS HAVE THE ANTIBODIES.

I'VE BEEN BITING EVERYONE I CAN.

>> Jon: YOU'VE BEEN BITING EVERYONE?

>> YES, I HAVE.

YES, I HAVE.

>> Jon: THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS.

>> YES, IT IS, FOR MY CHOLESTEROL.

(LAUGHTER) DID YOU KNOW THAT THEY'RE ALL FILLED WITH CHEESE?

>> I DOCHEESE.

>> Jon: I DO NOT KNOW THAT.

>> I KNOW!

>> Jon

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