World War C - Happy Holidays

  • Aired:  12/03/13
  •  | Views: 220,118

Sarah Palin and Bill O'Reilly rush to Christmas's defense, despite its not being in any way threatened. (6:31)

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO LIVE IN THATWORLD OF PURE FEAR AND DESPAIR

WHERE EVERY INCONSEQUENTIALCHANGE IN WHAT WAS BECOMES A

CHHARBINGER OF DYSTOPIAN POSTAMERICA APOCALYPSE WHERE

ONLY MUSLIMS CAN SWIM AND THESIDEWALK GAME WHERE DECENT LAW

ABIDING WHITE FOLK ARE RANDOMLYKNOCKED OUT HAS REPLACED

BASEBALL AS OUR NATIONALPASTTIME.

>> A NEW BATTLE IN THE WAR ONCHRISTMAS.

>> THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS.

>> THE SCHOOL DISTRICT THATIS SAYING FAITH BASED TUNES HAVE

NO PLACE IN THE ELEMENTARYSCHOOL.

>> THE MAJORITY OF AMERICANSCELEBRATE CHRISTMAS SO EVERYBODY

SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO ENJOYTHE SEASON WITHOUT THE

INTERFERENCE OF A FEW BAH HUMBUGBULLIES.

>> Jon: HOW CAN I ENJOY MYCHRISTMAS WHEN I KNOW SOMEWHERE

A LITTLE JEWISHBOY ISN'T FORCED TO SING OH,

LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM.

>> SARAH PALIN HAS A NEW BOOKOUT ABOUT THE MEANING OF

CHRISTMAS.

[LAUGHTER][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: I WAS HOPING FOR BLITZENBUT SHE'LL DO.

>> CAN YOU UNDERSTAND WHYSOMEBODY

WHO IS NOT A CHRISTIAN WOULDFEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH AULD

DEMONSTRATION OFSOMETHING FROM THE BIBLE FROM

THE NEW TESTAMENT.

COMING FROM THE GOVERNMENTBECAUSE TO THEM IT MIGHT FEEL

LIKE THE GOVERNMENT IS PICKING ARELIGION AND IT'S NOT THEIRS.

>> WELL, THERE'S THINGS WE CANDO ABOUT THAT TO I GUESS LESSEN

THAT OFFENSE.

WE CAN DO THAT IN OUR PERSONALLIVES.

IN MY FAMILY WE HAVE THE MENORAHOUT THROUGH DECEMBER ON OUR

KITCHEN TABLE.

I WANT TO TEACH MY CHILDRENABOUT THE JEWISH FAITH.

>> Jon: QUICK WORD TO THEPALIN KIDS, WHILE I APPRECIATE

THE GESTURE, JEWS DON'T ACTUALLYJUST LEAVE A MENORAH OUT FOR THE

MONTH OF DECEMBER.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]LIKE A KNICKKNACK IN A CURIO

CASE.

GOES IN THE WINDOW AND ONLY PUTIT THERE FOR EIGHT DAYS.

PALIN KIDS THIS IS NOT AMENORAH.

NOW, THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMEONEWHO CAN DEFEND CHRISTMAS WITH A

LITTLE MORE AUTHORITY.

OVER THE YEARS WE'VE TAKEN ONTHE ROLE OF PROTECTING THE

FEDERAL HOLIDAY OF CHRISTMAS.

>> Jon: EVEN THOUGH IT IS NOT INANY WAY THREATENED.

I'LL BITE.

TELL ME WHY THIS YEAR IT'SESPECIALLY EGREGIOUS TO USE THE

PHRASE HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

>> WHAT IS INTERESTING THIS YEARIS HANUKKAH IS OVER ON THURSDAY

SO THERE ARE NO MORE HOLIDAYSBETWEEN THEN AND CHRISTMAS DAY.

>> Jon: DAMN YOU, O'REILLY.

[ LAUGHTER ]WE'VE BEEN CHECKMATED.

WITHOUT HANUKKAH WE HAVE NOEXCUSE TO SAY

HAPPY HOLIDAYS PLURAL BECAUSEAPPARENTLY YOU CAN'T INCLUDE

ANYTHING PAST CHRISTMAS LIKEKWANZAA AND NEW YEARS.

BUT THAT MEANS UP UNTIL HANUKKAHYOU CAN ONLY SAY HAPPY HANUKKAH

BUT WHAT THE (bleep) CARESBABOUT THAT. WHO ELSE IS PEEING

ONYOUR YULE LOG THIS YEAR?

>> MACY'S A COMPANY I GENERALLYLIKE.

>> Jon: MACY'S ISN'TCHRISTMASSY ENOUGH FOR YOU?

THIS MACY'S?

THE ONE EMBLAZONED WITH ABEJEWELED BELIEVE SIGN THAT

COULD BE SEEN FROM SPACE?

[LAUGHTER]THE ONE THAT LOOKS AS THOUGH

SOMEONE EJACULATED TINSEL ALLOVER IT?

THAT MACY'S?

[LAUGHTER][ APPLAUSE ]

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?

>> THIS YEAR THEY ARE TOUTINGSANTA CLAUS WHO WILL HELP YOU

QUOTE "WITH YOUR HOLIDAY WISHLIST."

SO HERE IS MY QUESTION TO MACY'SWHAT HOLIDAY IS SANTA

CELEBRATING?

>> Jon: THAT ISA GOOD

QUESTION.

HE IS CELEBRATING THE FEASTOF ST. NICHOLAS WHICH

ORIGINATED IN THE NETHERLANDSAND OCCURS EVERY DECEMBER 6.

YOU MAY NOT HAVE HEARD ABOUTTHAT BECAUSE EVERY OTHER HOLIDAY

IS SUCKED INTO THE BLACK HOLETHAT IS CHRISTMAS.

BY THE WAY, YOU ARE UPSET WITH ADEPARTMENT STORE BECAUSE IN

THEIR EFFORT TO GET TO YOU BUYTHE HELLO KITTY FIGURINE THEY

ARE NOT INVOKING CHRIST'S NAMEENOUGH.

I THOUGHT CHRISTIANS USED TO COMPLAIN THAT THEIR HOLIDAY WAS

GETTING TOO COMMERCIALIZED. >> I LOVE THE COMMERCIALIZATION

OF CHRISTMAS BECAUSE IT SPREADSTHE CHEER.

IT'S THE MOST JOLLY HOLIDAY ONTHE CALENDAR.

>> Jon: OBVIOUSLY.

COMMERCIALIZATION IS SPREADINGCHRISTMAS CHEER.

I HAVE BEEN CONFUSED ABOUT THEHOLIDAY.

I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT OPENINGONES HOME TO FRIENDS NOT OPENING

A PRESENT AND RETURNING IT FORCREDIT. IF THE TRUE SPIRIT OFR

CHRISTMAS IS BEST SPREAD ANDEXPRESSED THROUGH COMMERCIALISM

AND MATERIALISM, THENANYONE WHO DENOUNCES THOSE

THINGS IS WAGING WAR ONCHRISTMAS, SARAH PALIN, BILL

O'REILLY MEET YOUR NEWESTNEMESIS.

>> TODAY POPE FRANCIS DENOUNCES TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS AS UNFAIR

TO THE POOR.

>> CALLING FOR CATHOLICS TORESIST EXCESSIVE CAPITALISM AND

MATERIALISM.

>> Jon: WHEN WILL THE POPESTOP HIS WAR ON CHRISTMAS?

[LAUGHTER][ APPLAUSE ]

WELL, I HOPE HIS MESSAGE ISHEARD AND SOME DAY MACY'S WILL

TRULY HONOR THE SPIRIT OFCHRISTMAS.

[ LAUGHTER ]WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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