Operation Deserter Storm - How to Bring a Hostage Home

  • Aired:  06/09/14
  •  | Views: 102,643

Jason Jones and Jessica Williams report on the proper way to secure a hostage release from a Taliban prison. (4:59)

>> WELCOME BACK.

OBVIOUSLY THE BERGDAHL SWAPHAS BEEN AN ISSUE OF

CONTROVERSY.

BUT IF THERE'S ONE THINGEVERYONE CAN AGREE ON, IT'S THEY

WOULD HAVE DONE IT BETTER.

>> I THINK IT'S A BAD DEAL.

>> A BIG MISTAKE.

>> I WAS NOT SATISFIED.

>> I WOULD HAVE DONE EVERYTHINGSHORT OF ENDANGER THE NATIONAL

SECURITY OF THE UNITED STATES.

>> WELL, I WOULDN'T RELEASETHESE MEN.

>> EVER?

>> NOT THESE MEN.

>> WE CAN GO IN AND USE MILITARYFORCE.

>> Jon: TURNS OUT WE COULDHAVE DONE EVERYTHING, BUT THE

THING WE DID.

THAT WAS ONE THING WE SHOULDN'THAVE DONE.

WE'RE SO STUPID. OBAMA ISTOTALLY THAT GUY WHO'S LIKE,

"WHAT'S THIS BUTTON DO?"

NO!

DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON.

THAT'S THE BAD BUTTON.

AND IT'S NOT JUST OBAMA WHOSCREWED THIS WHOLE POOCH.

BERGDAHL'S DAD AGAIN.

>> I'VE GOT A 26-YEAR-OLD SON,AND IF MY SON IS OUT ON THE WIRE

AND HE IS OUT THERE WITH FELLOWTROOPS AND HE WRITES ME UP AND

SAYS HE HATES AMERICA AND HE'STHINKING ABOUT DESERTING AND

HE'S THINKING ABOUT LEAVING HISPOST, I CAN TELL YOU AS FATHER

OF THAT 26-YEAR-OLD OR23-YEAR-OLD SON, I'D SAY, JOEY,

YOU STAY THE HELL RIGHT THERE.

I WOULD CALL HIS COMMANDER.

I WOULD SAY, GET MY SON, HE'SNOT WELL, GET HIM TO A MILITARY

BASE IN GERMANY.

>> Jon: AND THEY WOULD DO IT.

BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THINGTHIS MILITARY DOES IS TAKE ORDER

FROM FATHERS WHO CALL THEM UP.

[LAUGHTER]DUDE, YOU PROBABLY COULDN'T EVEN

GET LITTLE LEAGUE COACHES TO DOWHAT YOU WANT.

JUST PLAY HIM. WEHAVE TEAM COVERAGE FROM

JESSICA WILLIAMS AND JASON JONESIN WASHINGTON, D.C.

HEY GUYS, NICE SEE YOU.[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

LISTEN. SO, ALL THIS OBVIOUSLYMONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACKING,

IS THIS THE RIGHT DEAL FOR THEADMINISTRATION TO DO?

>> NO.

>> JON, I'M GOING TORESPECTFULLY DISAGREE WITH JASON

BECAUSE THE ANSWER IS HELL NO.

OBAMA GAVE UP FIVE PIECES OFTOP TALIBAN TALENT.

HUGE MISTAKE.

IF I HAD BEEN PRESIDENT, I WOULDHAVE GOTTEN BERGDAHL BACK FOR

SOME SECOND STRINGER LIKE ABDAL-RAHIM AL-NASHIRI AND

WHATEVER'S IN MY POCKET.

LOOKS LIKE $1.75.>> Jon: $1.75?

>> THAT IS STILL WAY TOO MUCH.IF I WERE PRESIDENT, I WOULD

HAVE GOTTEN BERGDAHL BACK FORAN 8 GIG iPHONE 3 AND PACK OF

GUM, AND NOT EVEN GOOD GUM, THEGUM THAT SQUIRTS THAT

TOOTHPASTEY JIZZ IN YOUR MOUTH,THAT GUM.

>> Jon: IT'S CALLED FRESHENUP, AND SOME OF US HAPPEN TO

THINK THAT WAS AN ADVANCE IN GUMTECHNOLOGY.

>> EW, JON, EW.

>> Jon: BUT LISTEN. I KNOWTHIS HYPOTHETICAL. WHAT IF THE

TALIBAN HADN'T BEEN WILLING TOEXCHANGE THEIR HIGH-VALUED

PRISONER FOR POCKET CHANGE ANDGUM THAT SQUIRTS?

>> [BLEEP] THAT. MAKE 'EM DOIT.

>> BOOM. NICE ONE, JAY.

>> Jon: BERGDAHL'S FATHER?

>> OH, YOU MEAN BEARDIEMcTALIBAN?

THAT'S GUY'S A TOOL, JON.

>> HE'S NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN OFGUYS WHO WILL DO ANYTHING TO

RESCUE THEIR P.O.W. SON.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT, JON, I'LL TELLYOU ONE THING, IF MY SON UP AND

WALKED OFF HIS POST AND GOTCAUGHT BY THE TALIBAN, I'D MAKE

THAT KID SIT DOWN AND SMOKE AWHOLE CARTON OF CIGARETTES.

>> UH-HUH.

UH-HUH.

>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THATWOULD HELP.

>> OH, OKAY, NOW YOU'RE GOING TOTELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY KIDS,

JON?

>> Jon: NO, I JUST, IMEAN BERGDAHL HIMSELF, THE GUY'S

A P.O.W. WHAT WAS HESUPPOSED TO DO?

WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?

>> THERE'S PLENTY, JON.

IT'S TALIBAN PRISON.

SECURITY'S PROBABLY PRETTYLOOSE.

LET'S SAY IT'S DUSK.

>> EXACTLY, AND THERE HE IS, THEHOSTAGE, HIS LEAN BODY BRONZED

FROM THE HARSH AFGHAN SUN.

HE'S WRAPPED IN CHAINS.

>> A CLOSE ANGLE ON HISSURPRISINGLY MUSCULAR ARM.

>> HE FLEXS, SHATTERING THEBONDS THAT HOLD HIM AGAINST HIS

WILL. >> OH, NO, HE DIDN'T.

>> UH-HUH.

>> SUDDENLY 20 GUARDS APPEAR OUTOF THE MIST.

>> I SUMMON MY YEARS OF KARATETRAINING.

>> Jon: WAIT, WHAT?

YOU'RE THERE NOW? WHAT ARE YOU,JASON STATHAM?

IS IT BERGDAHL OR YOUTHAT'S STUCK IN PRISON?

>> IT DOESN'T MATTER, JON.

MY MANLY FISTS FLY INTO ACTION.

GIVE 'EM SOME OF THAT.

THEN I GIVE THEM A BIG [BLEEPED]KICK.

THEN I'D RIP MY [BLEEPED] PANTS.

I REALLY RIPPED MY PANTS.

>> Jon: NO.

THAT'S WHY YOU ARE NOT GOINGOVER THERE.

YOU WOULD BE IN A TUNIC.

YOU'D BE WEARING A TUNIC.

>> I'D GRAB A GUN AND DO ABACKFLIP OFF THE ROOF AND SLOWLY

ROTATE THROUGH THE AIR AS I MOWDOWN MY REMAINING CAPTORS.

>> CUE THE SMOKE AND THESMOKE CLEARING AND THERE SHESTANDS.

>> A TOTALLY HOT TALIBAN LADYPLAYED BY SOPHIA VERGARA.

AND I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THATMEANS.

[HUMMING PORN MUSIC].

>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW. I DON'TKNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

>> THAT MEANS WE BANG.

>> BUT RESPECTFULLY, THROUGH ASHEET.

>> Jon: THAT'S HASIDIC. THAT'S ADIFFERENT --

THEN I GRAB MY HORSE AND RIDE TOFREEDOM.

>> AND THAT $120 MILLION OPENINGWEEKEND.

>> AND THAT'S HOW YOU BRING AHOSTAGE HOME, JOHNNY.

>> ALL RIGHT. JESSICA WILLIAMSAND JASON JONES, EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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