Explosive and the City

  • Aired:  05/03/10
  •  | Views: 79,456

After the Times Square bomb scare, Mike Bloomberg holds a press conference to provide details of the T-shirt vendor and NYPD horse. (5:00)

NOW AS PROBABLE -- YOU PROBABLY HEARD THIS PAST SATURDAY NEW YORK POLICE DISARMED A CAR BOMB

IN THE MIDDLE OF TIMES SQUARE.

WHAT IS WORSE, IT'S ONLY THE SECOND BIGGEST BOMB ON BROADWAY THAT NIGHT.

HA-HA AS MY ONE MAN SHOW JON STEWART PRESENTS THE OIL SPILL PARODY SONG BOOK CLOSED THROUGH

MY RENDITION OF "I FEEL GRITTY." ♪ I FEEL GRITTY OH, SO GRITTY ♪

WHERE WERE YOU ON SATURDAY?

[LAUGHTER]

LUCKILY MAYOR BLOOMBERG RUSHED TO THE SCENE TO FILL IN THE PUBLIC.

>> AT ABOUT 6:30 LAST NIGHT AN ALERT T-SHIRT VENDOR WHO IS A VIETNAM VETERAN NOTICED AN

UNOCCUPIED SUSPICIOUS VEHICLE.

HE ALERTED POLICE OFFICER WAYNE RATIGAN OF THE NYPD MOUNTED UNIT ON HIS HORSE MIGGS PATROLLING

TIMES SQUARE.

>> Jon: SORRY, MR. MAYOR, WHAT TYPE OF VENDOR, WHAT WAR DID HE SERVE?

WHAT WAS THE NAME OF HORSE?

AND DO YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION THAT MATTERS?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THE OFFICER'S HORSE WAS NAMED MIGGS.

A CHESTNUTTING GELDING FROM THE LOBIANCA STABLES LECHINGTON,

KENTUCKY.

HE IS A FAN SUGAR CUBES AND CARROTS AND HE TAKES (bleep) EXERCISE ON MY ASS.

HE'S A BEAUTIFUL HORSE I LOVE VERY MUCH.

[LAUGHTER]

BY THE WAY I'M NOT TRYING TO TELL THE MAYOR HOW TO DO HIS JOB BUT THE BEST LOOK FOR THE BOMB

SCARE PRESS CONFERENCE PROBABLY ISN'T THE OLD RICHIE RICH.

LOSE THE BOW TIE.

>>.

THE BOMB DID NOT DETONATE BUT THE NEWS MEDIA WILL MAKE SURE THE STILL AT LARGE BOMBER WILL

GET IT RIGHT NEXT TIME.

>> IT'S WELL KNOWN THAT TRYING TO PUT TOGETHER THAT TYPE OF

BOMB YOU MIX IT WITH FUEL OIL.

HE DID NOT BUY THE AMMONIUM NITRATE.

>> THERE WASN'T ANY EXPLOSIVE DETONATOR CAP.

>> THE VALVES WERE NOT OPEN SO THE GAS WAS NOT SEEPING OUT OF THE PROPANE TANKS.

>> Jon: THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH FOR THAT.

HOW IS IT THAT YOU ARE SO BAD AT GIVING US INFORMATION WE SHOULD KNOW AND SO GOOD AT GIVING US WE

REALLY SHOULDN'T KNOW?

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IS IN THIS HEALTH CARE BILL IF IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR MAXIMUM KILL RADIUS

DO NOT USE PROPANE.

DON'T USE BALL BARINGS WHEN SIMPLE WOOD SCREWS DO EQUIVALENT DAMAGE.

THIS EVENT RAISED A LOT OF QUESTIONS INCLUDING WHO IS THE CULPRIT, WHAT IS THE MOTIVE AND

HOW DID THEY FIND A PARKING SPOT ON 45th STREET ON A SATURDAY NIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

AND MAINLY, WHO DID IT?

>> COULD IT HAVE BEEN A LONE WOLF CONNECTED TO A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION, POSSIBLY.

>> ONE POSSIBILITY, THIS IS ONE POSSIBILITY OUT OF 100 BUT THIS

VEHICLE WAS CLOSE TO A VIA COM BUILDING WHICH HAVE A WHOLE ISSUE WITH SOUTH PARK.

>> COULD IT HAVE BEEN SOMEONE ELSE WHO DIDN'T HAVE TERRORIST IDEAOLOGY AT HEART.

>> WHAT IF THIS TURNS OUT TO BE HOME GROWN.

>> THE F.B.I. AND NYPD ARE LOOKING FOR A MIDDLE AGED WHITE MAN ACTING SUSPICIOUSLY.

>> Jon: A LONE WOLF ISLAMIC MENTALLY ILL SOUTH PARK HATER.

WAIT A MINUTE, MIDDLE AGED WHITE GUY ACTING SUSPICIOUSLY, I'M SENSING A PATTERN HERE, WHO WAS

THE MIDDLE AGED WHITE GUY WHO TRIED TO RUIN THE ECONOMY IN NEW ORLEANS?

GOLDMAN SACHS ONCE AGAIN.

LET'S NOT JUMP TO ANY CONCLUSIONS BECAUSE THESE MIDDLE AGE WHITE GUYS OR MOGS ARE

CLEARLY DANGEROUS.

THAT'S NO EXCUSE TO PROFILE.

WE'VE NARROWED THE CRIME DOWN TO SOMEONE.

[LAUGHTER]

I GUESS THE REAL MESSAGE HERE IS IF YOU SEE SOMEONE, SAY SOMETHING BECAUSE IT COULD BE

ANYONE MAYBE EVEN YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

OR ME!

NOOOOOOOOO.

I HAVE A HOOK FOR A||||||||

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