Chris Rock

  • Aired:  08/08/12
  •  | Views: 50,467

Chris Rock discusses Julie Delpy's "2 Days in New York" and why he envies musicians' mandate to trot out the same material every performance. (8:05)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, OH!

HIS NEW FILM IS CALLED "TWO DAYS IN NEW YORK."

>> I'M DOING MY RADIO SHOW IN ABOUT AN HOUR.

WHY DON'T YOU COME AND BE ON THE AIR?

>> I'M CATCHING THE 4:20 TO D.C.

>> I'D LOVE TO DO IT.

>> OH, PLEASE.

>> ACTUALLY I MEANT TO CALL YOU ABOUT BARACK'S VISIT TO N.Y..

>> HAVE HIM ON MY SHOW?

>> LOVE, SLOW DOWN THERE.

>> OKAY, OKAY.

>> NO, NO, HE'S DOING A PRESS CONFERENCE AND I THINK I CAN GET YOU IN.

>> GET OUT OF HERE!

OH, NO.

>> SWEETIE, THAT'S SO GREAT.

THAT'S WONDERFUL.

>> IS IT TRUE?

>> HE'S SO GOOD LOOKING.

SO MUCH BETTER LOOKING SARKOZY.

>> Jon: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE PROGRAM CHRIS ROCK!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

( CHEERS ) SIT DOWN!

>> Jon: THEY LOVE ANY FRENCH FILM.

>> YES.

>> Jon: AND THAT IS WHAT THAT WAS RIGHT THERE.

THAT WAS AN EXPLOSION OF ENERGY.

>> MY ASSOCIATION WITH BOOTY CHANG WILL ALWAYS HAVE ME LOVED BY YOUR AUDIENCE.

>> Jon: THAT IS EXACTLY RIGHT.

YOUR ACTING-- I'M WATCHING YOU IN THAT MOVIE--

>> YES, YES, YES.

>> Jon: YOU ARE ACTING IN THAT MOVIE, NOT ACTING LIKE I ACT IN A MOVIE LIKE, "OH,

REALLY, YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT?" BUT YOU, THAT'S REAL ( BLEEP ) ACTING.

YOU WERE DOING-- THAT'S REAL ACTING.

>> I'M TRYING, MAN.

I'M TRYING TO GET SOME WORK,

JON.

( LAUGHTER ).

I WANT SOME GOOD PARTS, JON.

I WANT TO BE LIKE DENZEL AND LAND THAT PLANE UPSIDE DOWN, YOU KNOW.

>> Jon: LET'S NOT GET OUT OF HAND.

>> LET'S NOT GET OUT OF HAND.

>> Jon: JULIE DELPY WRITES THIS THING.

HOW DO YOU KNOW HER?

>> SHE'S A WHITE GIRL WITH A BIG ASS, SO I KNOW OF HER.

I'M AWARE --

>> I'VE BEEN ON THAT-- I'VE BEEN ON THAT WEB SITE.

>> RIGHT, RIGHT.

NICE ASS.

SO RIGHT AWAY, SHE'S IN MY RADAR, RIGHT.

>> Jon: OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

I MET HER, I THINK-- I DON'T KNOW, SHE SAID SHE WROTE IT FOR ME.

I THINK SHE SAW GOOD HAIR, AND SAW ME-- I'M SERIOUS.

I DON'T KNOW!

I DON'T ASK THESE QUESTIONS.

A WOMAN CALLS I ANSWER, JON.

>> Jon: IS THAT TRUE?

IT CAN BE ANYBODY, A WOMAN --

>> A HOT, FRENCH WOMAN WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

YOU WOULD PICK UP THAT PHONE,

WON'T YOU.

>> Jon: I WOULD MOST LIKELY PICK UP MY PHONE BUT I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY WERE SAYING.

>> I WOULDN'T CARE WHAT THEY WERE SAYING.

>> Jon: THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE.

>> RIGHT.

>> Jon: WHAT ARE YOU A RADIO HOST?

>> RADIO HOST COLUMNIST, ELLEN MITCHELL, NELSON GEORGE TYPE DISPL AND YOUR NAME IS MINGUS.

>> MINGUS.

MINGUS, AND IN THE MOVIE IT RHYMES WITH CUNNILINGUS, WHICH IS ALL RIGHT BY ME.

>> Jon: IS THAT THE ONE LINER FROM THE MOVIE?

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) IMAGINE A GUY, AND HIS NAME ISENINGUS, SO YOU'RE DOING--

YOU'RE DOING THIS, AND THEN YOU'RE MOVING RIGHT TO THE SANDLER AND SPADE, LIKE-- DO YOU

PULL A GROIN FROM THAT?

HOW DO YOU GO FROM YOU'RE DOING THE FRENCH DELPY--

>> MOVIE.

>> Jon: AND THEN GOING INTO--

>> THEN I DID "GROWN-UPS TWO."

>> Jon: "GROWN-UPS, TWO." EVEN MORE GROWN-UP.

AND YOU'RE PRODUCING-- YOU'RE A HARD-WORK INDIVIDUAL.

>> I TRY TO KEEP IT MOVING, MAN.

>> Jon: YOU REALLY DO KEEP IT MOVING.

IS IT BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE TO BE AT HOME WITH YOUR FAMILY?

>> YES.

I JUST DO NOT LIKE THESE PEOPLE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM.

>> Jon: LISTEN--

>> MY KIDS ARE RICH.

I HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON WITH THEM.

( LAUGHTER ).

( APPLAUSE ).

>> Jon: HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT TO THEM-- I AM TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT.

DO THEY HAVE JOBS, LIKE I WANT MY KID-- I HAVE HAD JOBS SINCE I WAS 14 YEARS OLD, ALWAYS WORKED.

MY KIDS ARE RICH EYE DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN TO THEM.

>> THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.

THEY GIVE ME ATTITUDE, AND I'M STARTING TO HIT THEM, AND I'M

LIKE, "AH, YOU CAN'T HIT A RICH KID." ( LAUGHTER ).

>> Jon: IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD.

>> IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD, MAN.

>> Jon: DO YOU THINK-- MAYBE THERE SHOULD BE LIKE AN OUTWARD BOUND THAT WE PUT THEM

IN WHERE IT'S LIKE, YOU'VE GOT TO LIVE LIKE ( BLEEP ) FOR A WEEK.

>> EVERY YEAR I BEG MY WIFE TO PUT THEM IN CAMP IN HARLEM AND SHE WON'T DO IT.

I REALLY-- LIKE, I THINK MY WHOLE RICH-ASS NEIGHBORHOOD NEEDS TO GO TO CAMP IN HARLEM IN

THE SUMMER AND GET THEIR LUNCH MONEY TAKEN.

>> Jon: THERE'S GOT TO BE A CAMP.

>> THERE'S GOT TO BE A CAMP KICK-ASS.

>> Jon: I THINK THAT'S AN EXCELLENT IDEA.

AND IF IT'S NOT AN EXCELLENT IDEA, YOU SHOULD FRANCHISE THAT.

>> I MIGHT DO THAT.

>> Jon: WHEN IS THE STAND-UP COMING?

>> IT'S COME, IT'S COMING.

I'M WORKING-- I'M WRITING SOME JOKES.

IT'S HARD TO GO TO THE CLUBS BECAUSE PEOPLE TAPE YOUR ( BLEEP ) ALL THE TIME.

>> Jon: I KNOW, IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD NOW.

>> LIKE BEFORE IT'S READY.

>> I DON'T MIND IF I'M AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN AND WANT

TO TAPE IT, BUT I'M AT THE CELLAR WORKING ON A BIT AND IT

AIN'T READY AND IT'S ON YOUTUBE AND THEN IT'S LIKE --

>> IT'S LIKE, "CHRIS ROCK SAID...."

>> AND SOMEBODY IS MAD AT ME.

>> Jon: AND IT GET OUT THERE.

>> IT GETS OUT THERE.

>> Jon: VAWDFUL, WHAT THEY HAD TO FACE WHEN TV CAME AROUND.

THEY'D DO 15 MINUTES OF TV AND PERFECT IT AND SEE THEIR FAMILY FOR 50 YEARS DOING THE SAME

STUPID JOKES THEY STOLE FROM HENNY YOUNGMAN.

AND TV CAME ON, THEY SAID I'D LOVE TO DO ED SULLIVAN, BURNED

THOSE 15 MINUTES AND "I'M OUT OF WORK."

>> IT'S ROUGH, AND COMEDIANS-- NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR JOKES TWICE.

>> Jon: NO, PEOPLE WANT TO BARELY HEAR THEM ONCE.

>> THEY BARELY WANT TO HEAR THEM ONCE.

THAT'S WHY I ENVY SINGERS.

STING IS STILL SINGING "ROX ANN" AND GETTING PAID.

>> Jon: THEY WANT HIM TO.

THEY GET MAD IF HE DOESN'T SING IT 100 TIMES.

>> YOU'VE WRITTEN JOKES AS GOOD AS "ROX ANN."

I HAVE A FEW "ROXAENS" BUT NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR THEM ANYMORE.

HOW DARE YOU SAY THE SAME FUNNY THING YOU SAID LAST YEAR?

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT,

DIDDY WAS RIGHT-- MO MONEY,

MO PROBLEM.

>> HE WAS RIGHT.

>> Jon: THAT'S WHY HE IS AN ICON IN THE WAY HE IS.

>> DIDDY HAS A CLOTHING LINE,

AND HE-- HE'S A DESIGNER THAT CAN'T SEW.

>> Jon: DO YOU KNOW HIM?

I DON'T KNOW HIM.

>> WE'VE BEEN IN CONTACT.

>> Jon: YEARS AGO I WAS AT THE BEACH IN LONG ISLAND, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN ALL THESE

ESCALADES AND CARS WITH LIKE SIRENS AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE OH,-- BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT WAS

SUPPOSED TO BE IN TOWN FOR A FUND-RAISER AND I WAS LIKE THAT'S PROBABLY THE PRESIDENT

AND IT WAS DIDDY.

>> HE'S THE PRESIDENT OF THE PARTY.

>> Jon: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.

>> BEST GUY IN THE WORLD TO BUMP INTO.

YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE EYES CAN HIM BUT BUMP INTO HIM.

>> Jon: "TWO DAYS IN NEW YORK" IT OPENS FRIDAY IN NEW

YORK AND OTHER SELECT CITIES IN COMING WEEKS.

>> AND TOMORROW NIGHT, TOTAL LIE BIAS WITH CRA MEAL BELL.

>> Jon: WHEN IS THAT ON?

>> TOMORROW NIGHT ON FX.

>> Jon: WHAT TIME.

>> RIGHT AFTER "LOUIE."

>> Jon: DON'T WATCH IT.

THAT'S 11:00.

>> OH, THAT'S WHY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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