West Bank Story - Challahfax vs. Halalifax

  • Aired:  09/22/11
  •  | Views: 130,915

John Oliver and Aasif Mandvi go on location to dispute their claims to a certain sacred territory. (3:38)

COMMUNITY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

FOR MORE ON THIS INTRACTABLE

PROBLEM WE GO TO SENIOR

MIDDLE EAST CORRESPONDENT

JOHN OLVER.

>> JON,I'VE GOT AMAZING

BREAKING NEWS.

A NEW RELIGIOUS SCROLL HAS

BEEN DISCOVERED.

THE MAY HOLD THE KEY TO A

LASTING PEACE IN THE MIDDLE

EAST.

>> Jon: DOES THIS SCROLL

PROVIDE EVIDENCE TO ONE

GROUP'S CLAIMS --

>> IT ABSOLUTELY DOES, JOHN.

IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE IN BLACK

AND PAPYRUS.

THIS SCROLL ACTUALLY REVEALS

THAT THE REAL JEWISH

PROMISED LAND IS NOT THE

LAND OF JUDD AYA AND SAMARIA

BUT RIGHT HERE IN HALIFAX,

CANADA.

YEAH, YEAH.

>> Jon: THE BIBLICAL

JEWISHED PROMISED LAND.

>> UH-HUH.

>> Jon: IS HALIFAX.

>> NO, NO, ACTUALLY, JOHN

IT'S PRONOUNCED CHALLIFAX.

TRY IT.

>> Jon: WITHIN.

>> NO, NO, IT'S CHALLIFAX.

>> Jon: CHALLIFAX.

>> YOU ROLL IT, YEAH, THAT'S

CLOSER.

>> , CUS ME, JOHN.

>> Jon: AASIF MAN VEY.

>> YES, THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.

THIS AREA HAS ALWAYS BEEN

AND ALWAYS WILL BE SACRED TO

MUSLIM.

THIS AREA CONTAINS SOME OF

THE MOST SACRED SITES IN ALL

OF ISLAM.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

HALIFAX.

>> FIRST OF ALL IT'S

PRONOUNCED HALALLIFAX.

>> NO, IT ISN'T, NO T IS

ISN'T, IT'S CHALLIFAX, HE'S

WRONG, IT'S CHALLIFAX, I CAN

PROVE T IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE

IN HEBREW.

IN FACT, LET ME READ IT TO

YOU FOR A SECOND, THIS LAND

CLEARLY BELONGS TO THE JEWS.

I WANT TO MAKE THAT

ABSOLUTELY CLEAR.

I SPOKE TO MUHAMMED LAST

NIGHT AND HE'S COOL WITH IT.

>> NO, NO, NO!

>> IT'S REALLY NOT A

PROVOCATION AS IT SEEMS.

>> THAT IS ENCHANTING

ENGLISH THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

OKAY, ACCORD TOGETHER KARAN

HALALLIFAX CONTAINS THE VERY

LATE WHERE MUHAMMED FIRST

WENT ICE FISHING, HE CAUGHT

A BASS THIS BIG!

>> NO, NO, HEY, MANVI-- MANVI,

I'LL BELIEVE THAT WHEN I SEE

A PICTURE OF IT.

>> YOU KNOW I CAN'T SHOW YOU

ONE!

>> THAT'S BLOODY CONVENIENT.

THAT'S SO CONVENIENT, ISN'T

IT.

NOW JON, JON, ARE YOU BEING

INTENTIONALLY PROVOCATIVE.

>> NO, NOT AT ALL.

>> HEY!

WHO --

>> WHO WHAT?

>> Jon: AASIF, I THINK THAT

ROCK CAME FROM YOUR AREA.

>> OH, SO NOW I'M

RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING

THAT COMES FROM MY BOX.

>> YOU'RE A LIAR!

YOU'RE LYING, YOU ARE LYING,

MANVI.

>> Jon: WHAT IS WRONG WITH

YOU TWO.

YOU CAN'T EVEN GET ALONG IN

NOVA SCOTIA.

THIS IS THE MOST POLITE PART

OF CANADA.

(APPLAUSE)

>> JON, JON, JON.

OKAY, OKAY.

JON, LOOK, I AM PERFECTLY

WILLING TO DISCUSS THIS

REASONABLY, AS SOON AS HE

STOPS WITH ALL THOSE

ATTACKS.

>> HEY, HEY, HEY!

>> WHAT.

>> SON OF A PITCH, DID YOUR

BOX JUST GET BIGGER.

YOU JUST TOOK UP MY BOX.

>> IT IS NOT YOUR BOX.

(LAUGHTER)

>> IT IS NOT YOUR BOX.

>> HISTORICALLY THAT HAS

ALWAYS BEEN PART OF MY BOX.

>> THIS, THIS IS AN ILLEGAL

OCCUPATION.

>> IT'S MINE, IT'S MINE.

>> STOP IT!

>> I'M COMING OVER THERE.

>> GET OUT OF MY-- .

>> Jon: JOHN OLVER AND

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