Grover Norquist's Taxpayer Protection Pledge

  • Aired:  02/28/12
  •  | Views: 98,083

Samantha Bee sits down with Grover Norquist to find out more about the lifetime fealty pledge that his subjects have sworn to him. (5:15)

>> Jon: WELCOME BECOME.

NO MATTER -- REALLY, THANK YOU.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NO MATTER COMP CANDIDATE WINS

TO ANSWER TO THE VOTER AND THEAS

VOAER HAS THE NAME.

SAMANTHA BEE HAS MORE.

>> EACH OF FOUR REMAINING

REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES HOPE TO

ONE DAY BE CALLED THE MOST

POWERFUL MAN IN WASHINGTON.

BUT RIGHT NOW THAT POSITION IS

TAKEN.

BY THIS GUY.

>> ONE PERSON IS CONTROLLING THE

APRIL AGENDA OF THE UNITED

STATES OF AMERICA RIGHT NOW AND

HIS NAME IS GROVER NOR QUIST.

>> ASSIST I FEARED LOBBYIST AS

HEAD OF AMERICANS FOR TAX

REFORM.

HAS GOTTEN THE MAJORITY OF

CONGRESS TO SIGN AN OATH SAYING

THEY WILL NOT RAISE TAXES UNDER

ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER.

JESUS CHRIST, THAT'S A LOT OF

PEOPLE.

TO FIND OUT THE LIFETIME PLEDGE

HIS SUBS SWORN TO HIM I SAT DOWN

WITH HIS LORDSHIP IN THE BOOK

LINED POWER BUNKER.

>> THE WHOLE POINT OF THE PLEDGE

IS IT'S A PUBLIC COMMITMENT NOT

TO RAISE TAXES.

>>

>> IS THERE A SCENARIO IN WHICH

WOULD YOU BE COMFORTABLE WITH

SOMEONE RAISING TAXES.

>> NO.

>> RIGHT NOW THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT SENDS 4% OF G.D.P. ON

DEFENSE.

>> NATURAL DISASTER.

>> YOUR HOUSE IS KNOCKED DOWN

AND THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

RAISES YOUR TAXES AND THAT MAKES

YOU BETTER OFF.

>> BEARD FLU?

>> NOT FAMILIAR WITH THAT.

>> WHAT ABOUT THE RISE OF THE

APES?

>> IF THE -- LOOK, THE LA DID

YOU GET MATE.

>> IF THE CHIMPS TOOK OVER WOULD

YOU BE COMFORTABLE?

>> WE WOULD PREFER THAT NOT TO

HAPPEN BUT --

>> WELL --

>> I THINK RAISING TAXES WOULD

NOT STOP THAT.

>> THE PLEDGE IS SO RIGID THAT

EVEN ABRAHAM LINCOLN WOULD HAVE

BEEN IN VIOLATION OF THAT HIS

MANCRUSH WOULD HAVE BEEN IN

VIOLATION OF IT, TOO,

REPEATEDLY.

THIS STEWARD OF PUBLIC POLICY

HASN'T LOST SIEGHTD OF WHAT IS

REALLY IMPORTANT.

>> MY TEAM IS WINNING.

IF YOU TALK TO HARRY REID HE

WANTED A $2.5 TRILLION TAX

INCREASE.

>> YOUR TEAM IS WINNING IT'S

LIKE YOU CAME UP WITH THIS WHOLE

IDEA WHEN YOU WERE 12.

>> I DID WHEN I WAS 12 BECAUSED

WE HAD A TEACHER.

>> YOU CAME UP THIS -- WHAT DID

YOU SAY YOU CAME UP WITH THIS

IDEA WHEN YOU WERE --

>> IN SEVENTH GRADE.s

>> THE ENTIRE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

IS PARALYZED BECAUSE OF A

DOCUMENT WRITTEN BY A

12-YEAR-OLD UNTIL 1968.

WHAT OTHER GRIDLOCK INDUCING THE

IDEAS DO YOU HAVE WHEN YOU WERE

12?

>> SOME THING THIPS WERE SIMPLE.

IF ONE OF THE PARTIES WOULD

BRAND ITSELF AS THE PARTY THAT

WOULDN'T RAISE TAXES THAT WOULD

BE A WAY FOR THE REPUBLICAN

PARTY TO SUCCEED.

>> LET'S SAY I'M A 12-YEAR-OLD

GIRL AND YOU'RE A 12-YEAR-OLD

BOY.

EXPLAIN YOUR IDEA ABOUT BRANDING

THE REPUBLICAN PARTY TO ME.

>> OKAY.

THE GOAL IS TO MAKE IT EASIER

FOR PEOPLE.

>> OH, MY GOD, GUYS IRK THERE'S

LIKE A NERD TALKING TO ME ABOUT

SOMETHING.

>> IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO YOU

ARE VOTING FOR IT'S HELPFUL IF

THERE'S A BRAND IDENTIFICATION.

>> WHAT?

>> ONE PARTY WANTS TO RAISE YOUR

TAXES.

ONE WON'T.

MAKES IT EASIER TO CHOOSE.

>> I DON'T KNOW EVEN -- I DON'T

EVEN KNOW WHAT HE IS SAYING.

HE HAS A FRUIT ROLLUP IN THE

BEARD.

FINAL, I'LL MAKE OUT WITH YOU

BUT NOTHING SOUTH OF EQUATOR.

THE REPUBLICANS HAVE HIM IF

THEIR CORNER SO IF DEMOCRATS ARE

EVER TO WIN THIS FIGHT, THEY

NEED THEIR OWN THINK TANK FULL

OF 12-YEAR-OLDS.

I SHOWED THESE POLITICAL

WONDER-KINS --

THIS IS THE ACTUAL THING.

>> THE PLEDGE, YEAH.

>> THIS DOESN'T SEEM LIKE

SOMETHING THAT NORMAL PEOPLE

WOULD SIGN.

>> I WOULD NEVER SIGN A PLEDGE

WRIEN BY A 12-YEAR-OLD.

IT'S LIKE STUPID.

>> MAYBE I NEEDED TO SPEND MORE

TIME CONNECTING WITH THEM.

SO, TEENS, VAM PIRES, HUH?

-- VAMPIRES, HUH?

JUSTIN BIEBER, iPODS, SLAP

BRACELETS, RIGHT?

>> HOW OLD ARE YOU?

>> HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?

>> LIKE 53.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> YOU JUST MADE IT TO THE TOP

OF MY (bleep) LIST.

MAYBE WHAT THE DEMOCRATS REALLY

NEEDED WERE FRESHER, YOUNGER

VOICES.

ALL WE'RE LOOKING FOR ARE SOME

IDEAS TO SOLVE ALL OF AMERICA'S

PROBLEMS FOREVER INTO THE

FUTURE.

>> SELL APPLES.

>> EXTEND METRO NORTH TO

VERMONT.

>> THAT'S SOMETHING.

ANYTHING MORE GLOBAL?

>> ROBOTS INSTEAD OF ARMY.

>> STEP ASIDE NORQUIST.

YOU'VE BEEN

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