CNN Anchor Don Lemon Appears Not to Care for CNN

  • Aired:  07/26/11
  •  | Views: 432,384

Anchorman Don Lemon's half-hearted last-minute effort to feign that he cares about CNN's antics is a call for help. (3:28)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WELCOME BACK.

EVERY SO OFTEN A NEWS ANCHOR END

UP BECOMING THE STORY.

DAN RATHER BEING ROUGHED UP ON

THE FLOOR OF THE '68 DEMOCRAT

QUICK CONVENTION.

MARV ALBERT HAVING A SEX

SCANDAL.

BARBARA WALTERS CAUSING THE

DESTRUCTION OF THE HINDENBURG.

(LAUGHTER)

WHY?

WHY BARBARA?

WHY DO YOU KILL?

LATELY WATCHING CNN I'VE NOTICED

SOMETHING NEWSWORTHY MAY BE

BREWING THERE AS WELL.

>> ONE GROUP CALCULATED HOW MUCH

IT WOULD COST TO GO TO HOG WARTS

SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND

WIZARDRY.

>> MORE THAN $43,000 AND THAT'S

FOR ONLY ONE YEAR.

TUITION IS ACTUALLY THE BIGGEST

CHUNK.

JUST TO SEND YOUR KID OFF TO

BECOME A WIZARD, IT'S GOING TO

PRICE IT RIGHT OUT OF THE

BALLPARK I SAY.

>> I'D SAY IT COSTS ZERO BECAUSE

IT DOESN'T EXIST.

>> THERE YOU GO.

(LAUGHTER)

>> VICTIM DONE THE CALCULATIONS

FOR YOU.

RIGHT AT THE TOP.

IT IS INTERESTING, THOUGH.

>> Jon: DID YOU SEE THAT?

HIS HALF-HEARTED LAST MINUTE

EFFORT TO FEIGN THAT HE CARES AT

ALL ABOUT WHAT THAT WOMAN WAS

TALKING ABOUT.

THAT'S NOT JUST CASUAL ANCHOR

BANTER, MY FRIENDS.

THAT'S A CALL FOR HELP.

AS WE EXPLORE IN OUR NEW

SEGMENT, CNN ANCHOR DON LENNON

APPEARS NOT TO CARE FOR CNN.

CNN UNCONCERNED.

IT APPEARS YOUR ANCHOR DON LEMON

MAY NOT CARE VERY MUCH FOR THE

ANTICS OF YOUR NETWORK CNN.

BEHOLD.

EVEN PARTS OF CANADA ARE

SINFULLY HOT.

A LITTLE WARMER UP HERE THAN

WHERE I'M USED TO, BUT, HELL.

THIS IS NOTHING TO JOKE ABOUT

THIS.

IT IS DANGEROUS AND, AS I SAID,

NOTHING TO JOKE.

>> HE IS THE KATO TO MY GREEN

HORNET.

THE ROBIN TO MY BAT MAN.

THE DINO GIRL TO MY

ELECTROWOMAN.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO ANY OF THESE

PEOPLE ARE EXCEPT FOR BATMAN.

>> Jon: THAT MAY BE THE NICEST

WAY I'VE EVER HEARD ANYONE SAY

"WHO WRITE THIS IS (BLEEP)?"

(LAUGHTER)

BUT THE HOSTAGE SITUATION THAT

APPEARS TO BE DON LEMON'S TENURE

AT CNN REACHED ITS... DO YOU SAY

ZENITH OR NADER?

I'M GOING TO SAY BOTH.

>> ONE, TWO, THREE!

>> OH!

>> I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, I LIKE

DON LEMON A LOT BUT HE'S GOING

TO HAVE TO WORK HARD TO TOP

THAT.

CNN NEWSROOM BEGINS WITH DON

LEMON.

GOOD MORNING, DON.

>> GOOD MORNING.

I DON'T THINK HE'S GOING TO HAVE

TO WORK THAT HARD.

WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Jon: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT

THE HECK WAS THAT?

THAT WAS ALI VELSHI'S

DOPPELGANGER BEING KNOCKED INTO

A GLASS OF WATER FROM A TOILET

PAPER TUBE.

WHAT IS IT YOUR FIRST DAY IN

NEWS, LEMON?

TURNS OUT REPORTER DON LEMON

PREFERS REPORTING SUCH STORIES

AS THE UPRISING IN SYRIA, BREACH

OF TRUST IN BRITISH JOURNALISM

OR EVEN SOME SIMPLE LOCAL

INTEREST STORIES.

>> EMILY GOOD SAYS SHE RECORDED

THAT VIDEO IN HER FRONT YARD

BECAUSE SHE WAS CONCERNED ABOUT

RACIAL PROFILING AND POLICE

HARASSMENT.

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THIS IS A

SYSTEMATIC PROBLEM WITH

ROCHESTER POLICE?

>> Jon: THAT'S LEMON'S COMFORT

ZONE.

DON'T WORRY, I'M SURE CNN

PRODUCERS ARE HARD AT WORK

TRYING TO FIT DON LEMON INTO

THEIR FORMAT WITH SOMETHING

CATCHY LIKE "DON LEMON'S ZESTY

NEWS BOWL."

(LAUGHTER)

I GOT ONE, HOW ABOUT "T LEMON

HARANGUE?"

(LAUGHTER)

YOU DRIVE A HARD

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