Democalypse 2012 - National Geogaffe-ic

  • Aired:  07/31/12
  •  | Views: 27,645

Mitt Romney finds trouble in England for answering questions, trouble in Poland for ignoring questions, and trouble in Israel for kissing ass. (4:29)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW." MY NAME JON STEWART.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT DAMBISA MOYO.

SHE'S AN ECONOMIST PROMOTING HER NEW BOOK WINNER TALK ALL.

IT'S ABOUT -- WINNER TAKE ALL.

IT'S ABOUT HOW CHINA WILL BE THE OVERLORDS BE ABOUT ABOUT A NEF NENTLY SO.

WE JUST GASSED UP FOR THE TRIP TO LONDON OR AS THEY CALL GAS IN LONDON FLOGGY QUEAFFERS.

TRUE.

YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW EXCITED THE ROMNEY CAMPAIGN MUST BE TO ESCAPE FROM OUR GREATEST ALLEY

AND -- ALLY AND HEAD TO POLELAND TO RESET ROMNEY'S -- POLAND TO RESET ROMNEY'S --

>> THE TRYING PRESS SECRETARY FOR ROMNEY LOST HIS COOL AND CURSED AT REPORTERS NEAR THE

TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER IN WARSAW.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: SO HOW DID THE PRESS SECRETARY END UP CURSING AT REPORTERS NEAR THE TOMB?

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT SET HIM OFF?

>> GOVERNOR ROMNEY, DO YOU HAVE A STATEMENT FOR THE PALESTINIANS?

>> WHAT ABOUT YOUR GAS?

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: WHAT ABOUT YOUR GAS?

SIR, THEY ARE CALLED FLOGGY-QUEAFERS?

DO YOU HAVE ANY NEW GAS IN THE WORKS?

WHY CAN KRISTEN STEWART CHEAT ON R-PAT?

ANSWER THE -- WOW.

SO APPARENTLY THEY WERE -- THE FRUSTRATING REPORTS WERE TESTING THE LINE BETWEEN QUESTIONS AND HECKLES.

>> WE HAVEN'T HAD ANOTHER CHANCE TO ASK HIM QUESTIONS.

>> THIS -- (bleep) THIS IS SAY HOLY SITE FOR THE POLISH PEOPLE.

SHOW SOME RESPECT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: HAVE A LITTLE DECORUM YOU (bleep) PIECE OF (bleep).

THIS IS SACRED MOTHER (bleep) GROUND.

NOW, WHY DON'T YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS GO EAT A (bleep).

[ LAUGHTER ]

THIS GUY IS CURSING LIKE A FILIPINO DIPLOMAT I MEAN --

[ LAUGHTER ]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

SORRY.

I STAND CORRECTED A DIPLOMAT TO THE PHILIPPINES, NOT A PHIL PINOT DIPLOMAT.

MY GAFFE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

TROUBLE IN ENGLAND FOR ANSWERING QUESTIONS.

TROUBLE IN POLAND FOR IGNORING QUESTIONS.

I BELIEVE THERE WAS A THIRD COUNTRY ROMNEY VISITED IN BETWEEN THE TWO.

HOPEFULLY THAT IS A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE AREN'T SO OVERLY SENSITIVE OR PRONE TO

COMPLAINING OR HECKLING.

WHY WAS IT?

>> MITT ROMNEY VISITED ISRAEL THIS WEEKEND.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: IT COULD BE WORSE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I'M EXCITED TO SEE HOW HE SCREWS THE POOCH ON THIS ONE.

CAN HE OPEN A SPEECH WITH "GREETINGS FUTURE MORMONS?

[ LAUGHTER ]

OR KEPT ASKING EVERYONE IN ISRAEL WHERE THE BEST OF THE BASEBALL CAP WAS.

>> ISRAEL'S ACHIEVEMENTS ARE A WONDER OF THE MODERN WORLD.

THESE ARE ACHIEVEMENTS ARE A TRIBUTE TO THE RESILIENCE OF THE ISRAELI PEOPLE.

>> Jon: HUH.

NO INSULTS TO ANYBODY THERE.

NO INDELL BEGAN THE BEHAVIOR NEAR SACRED GROUND.

ROMNEY SPUING IT OFF.

>> YOUR INNOVATORS AND ENTER ENTREPRENEURS HAVE MADE THE DESERT BLOOM AND MADE FOR A

BETTER WORLD.

>> Jon: OKAY NOW YOU ARE JUST KISSING ASS.

AND NOW DELICIOUS IS THE BOULI.

-- TEBOULI.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE A SALAD WITH BULLAR WHEAT.

>> I'M IMPRESSED WITH THE THRIVING ECONOMY.

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