Game of Loans

  • Aired:  04/30/12
  •  | Views: 94,529

President Obama and Mitt Romney agree that student loan interest rates shouldn't double, but the parties disagree on the best way to keep aid funded. (5:59)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE THE DAILY SHOW.

MY NAME IS IS JON STEWART.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT OUR GUEST.

WE'RE VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS.

ZACH WAHLS, AUTHOR OF THE BOOK "MY TWO MOMS." IT IS AN ODE TO HIS TWO MOMS

AND HOW THEY RAISED HIM.

IT'S GOING TO MAKE WHAT YOU GOT YOUR FOR MOM ON MOTHER'S DAY REALLY JUST... LOOK,

FLOWERS.

WELL, ZACH WAHLS, HE WROTE HIS MOMS A BOOK.

TAKE YOUR FLOWERS AND GO (BEEP) YOURSELF.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LISTEN.

GOOD TO BE HERE.

IT'S GOOD YOU'RE CHEERING TONIGHT BECAUSE WE BEGIN TONIGHT TALKING ABOUT THE

YOUNG PEOPLE.

GENERATION-X.

WHAT'S THAT?

THEY'RE UP TO 40 NOW.

OH, MY GOD.

HOW OLD AM I?

WHAT?

THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS.

I CAN'T EVEN HEAR YOU.

THEY SAY YOUNG PEOPLE ARE IN PLAY THIS ELECTION YEAR.

IT WON'T BE ENOUGH FOR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES TO MAKE A COUPLE TOKEN MTV

APPEARANCES AND PRETEND THEY HAVE J-Z ON THEIR WALKMAN.

IS THAT... WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE DON'T LISTEN TO THE WALKMAN ANYMORE.

ALL RIGHT.

THESE CANDIDATES WILL HAVE TO DO REAL HEAVY DUTY PANDERING LIKE ON THE SUBJECT OF STUDENT LOANS.

>> 7.4 MILLION UNDERGRADS FROM MODERATE INCOME FAMILIES CURRENTLY RELY ON STUDENT

LOANS SUBSIDIZED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

>> FEDERAL STUDENT LOAN RATES RIGHT NOW ARE AT 3.4%.

IF CONGRESS DOESN'T ACT, IT WILL RISE TO 6.8%.

>> STOPPING THIS FROM HAPPENING SHOULD BE A NO-BRAINER

>> Jon: SO, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE BIDEN DO IT.

A NO-BRAINER.

BOOM, BOOM.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ACTUALLY HE'S A VERY

ACCOMPLISHED SENATOR.

I APOLOGIZE SINCERELY FOR SAYING THAT.

OF COURSE THESE TYPES OF ENTITLEMENTS ARE ANATHEMA TO THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.

LET'S SEE HOW THAT WILL BE HANDLED BY THEIR NOMINEE OR SHOULD I SAY ROMNEY.

TRADEMARK.

>> I FULLY SUPPORT THE EFFORT TO EXTEND THE LOW-INTEREST RATE ON STUDENT LOANS.

>> Jon: OOOHHH.

LOOK WHO IS NOT RUNNING IN A CONSERVATIVE PRIMARY ANYMORE.

OF COURSE, HE'S STILL ROMNEY,

THE CANDIDATE WITH A UNCOMMON MAN'S TOUCH.

>> WE'VE ALWAYS ENCOURAGED YOUNG PEOPLE, TAKE A SHOT.

GO FOR IT.

TAKE A RISK.

GET THE EDUCATION.

BORROW MONEY IF YOU HAVE.

FROM YOUR PARENTS.

>> Jon: NOW, NOW, NOW, OF COURSE I REALIZE NOT EVERYONE'S PARENTS HAVE MONEY.

READILY ACCESSIBLE.

SOME OF YOUR PARENTS PROBABLY HAVE MONEY IN OFF SHORE TRUSTS OR RESTRICTED STOCK.

IN THAT CASE, YOU MIGHT WANT TO AUCTION OFF SOME OF YOUR PARENTS' ART WORK.

ALL RIGHT.

SO OBAMA AND ROMNEY AGREE, BUT THE POWER FOR THIS RESIDES IN THE LEGISLATIVE BRANCH.

I'M SURE THE REAL OBSTACLE HERE IS HOUSE SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER.

>> NOBODY WANTS TO SEE STUDENT LOAN INTEREST RATES GO UP.

>> Jon: OH, MY GOD.

EVERYBODY AGREES.

THE PLANETS ARE ALIGNING.

THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS.

WE'RE GOING TO GET A BILL TO KEEP INTEREST RATES ON STUDENT LOANS, TO KEEP THOSE RATES

FROM DOUBLING.

>> THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION IS THREATENING TO VETO A BILL DESIGNED TO KEEP INTEREST

RATES ON STUDENT LOANS FROM DOUBLING.

>> Jon: (BEEP) HAPPENED?

WE WERE ALL FRIENDS.

WE AGREED.

WE WERE SONGING SONGS FROM "HAIR." WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

>> THE ISSUE IS REALLY HOW THEY DO IT.

>> Jon: I KEEP FORGETTING WE HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS CRAP.

>> REPUBLICAN ARE PROPOSING WHAT THEY CALL ELIMINATING A SLUSH FUND THAT WAS CREATED BY

OBAMA CARE.

>> Jon: WHO WOULD BE AGAINST ELIMINATING A SLUSH FUND?

SLUSH IS A TERRIBLE THING.

I'M FROM NEW YORK.

I KNOW SLUSH.

IT'S LIKE A RAIN WATER AND DOG URIEN SLUMPY.

WHAT'S IN THIS SLUSH FUND?

>> DEMOCRATS ARE HITTING AT THEM SAYING YOU'RE GOING TO BE

TARGETING, IN PART, THINGS FOR WOMEN'S HEALTH, TESTING LIKE MAMMOGRAMS AND THAT KIND OF THING.

>> Jon: OH, SO THIS IS MORE OF A MAMMOGRAM/PAP SMEAR SLURPY.

YOU KNOW, THAT IS 7/11'S SECOND LEAST POPULAR SLURPY FLAVOR BEHIND BLUE.

ALL RIGHT, DEMOCRATS, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PAY FOR IT?

>> DEMOCRATS ARE PROPOSING A DIFFERENT WAY TO PAY FOR IT.

THEY WANT TO DO WHAT THEY CALL ELIMINATING A CORPORATE TAX LOOPHOLE.

>> THERE ARE LOTS OF LOOPHOLES WE COULD CLOSE.

MY COLLEAGUES HAVE MENTIONED BIG OIL AND BIG GAS.

WE COULD CLOSE THOSE LOOPHOLES.

>> WE HAVE GOT PROPOSALS FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE AISLE,

FROM OUR FRIENDS IN THE SENATE,

THAT WANT TO TAX SMALL BUSINESSES.

THE JOB CREATORS, AT A VERY TIME IN OUR ECONOMY IS IS IN SUCH TROUBLE.

>> Jon: WE CERTAINLY DON'T WANT TO PUNISH THE MOST SUCCESSFUL AMONGST US.

MMMM: HOW ABOUT THE MOST ARMED AMONGST US.

>> IF THIS IS NOT SOMETHING TO PLAY GAMES WITH, THIS IS NOT SOMETHING TO STAND UP AND SAY,

HEY, I'M A COST-CUTTER.

>> Jon: WE CAN'T TOUCH OUR ALREADY STREAMLINED DEFENSE BUDGET.

IT MIGHT AFFECT OUR FLYING HOLLOW GRAM LASER TANK PROGRAM.

BY THE WAY, HERE'S HOW OLD PEOPLE ARE IN FLORIDA.

THAT GUY IS NAMED MR. YOUNG.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

( APPLAUSE )

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