Fifty Shades of No Way

  • Aired:  09/24/13
  •  | Views: 64,866

The Affordable Care Act wreaks havoc on Lindsey Graham's eccentric Southern gentility. (3:00)

SO LET'S GET TO BUSINESS.

AS YOU KNOW, NEXT TUESDAY,OCTOBER 1, YES, ROCKTOBER OR I

GUESS IN THIS COUNTRY GLOCKTOBREWHICH WILL PROBABLY TURN INTO

GLOCK VEMBER.

THAT IS THE DAY THAT OBAMA'SHEALTH CARE IS OPEN FOR SIGNUP.

I'VE GOT SOME MIXED FEELINGSABOUT OBAMACARE.

I LIKE MY HEALTH CARE LIKE ILIKE MY WOMEN, UNIVERSAL AND

WITH A WAITING LIST FORNONESSENTIAL PROCEDURES.

[ LAUGHTER ]AND SINGLE PAYER.

[ LAUGHTER ]SO FOR ME THE PRESIDENT'S

PROGRAM FALLS SHORT OF THAT,SEEMS LIKE A BIT OF A GIVEWAY TO

INSURANCE AND PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND 25 MILLIONMORE PEOPLE

WITH HEALTH INSURANCE IS BETTERTHAN NOT THAT BUT OTHERS HAVE A

DIFFERENT CRITIQUE.

>> IT SUCKS.

>> SORRY?

>> IT REALLY DOES.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: LINDSEY GRAHAM WHERE

IS YOUR ECCENTRICSOUTHERN GENTILITY THAT LENDS

ITSELF TO TENNESSEE WILLIAMS ORFAULKNERESQUE PARODY.

I HAVE ALWAYS DEPENDED ON THEKINDNESS OF STRANGERS THAT DON'T

SUCK.

NO THAT'S NO BUENO.

THE POINT IS: THIS UNITEDSTATES SENATOR ALONG WITH HIS

REPUBLICAN BRETHREN BELIEVES THEHEALTH CARE PLAN WE'RE ABOUT TO

INSTITUTE, IF I MAY PARAPHRASEHERE, SUCKS.

[LAUGHTER]IS THERE SLIGHTLY MORE NUANCE TO

THAT CRITIQUE?

>> WE BELIEVE THAT OBAMACARE ISA PROGRAM THAT WILL NOT WORK.

>> Jon: IT SUCKS.

AND IT WON'T WORK!

YOU MAY WONDER HOW REPUBLICANSKNOW THIS PROGRAM THAT IS YET TO

BE SHALL ENJOY THAT?

YEAH.

WE'RE COMING FOR YOU COLBERT.

NOW YOU MAY WONDER -- NOW, YOUMAY WONDER HOW REPUBLICANS KNOW

THAT THIS PROGRAM THAT IS YET TOBE INSTITUTED WILL SUCK AND NOT

WORK.

WELL, BECAUSE THEY'LL WORKTIRELESSLY TO MAKE SURE THAT

THAT IS THE CASE.

>> OKAY, EVERYTHING SEEMSNORMAL.

WHEN I SEE YOU ARE NEW TO OBAMACARE AS WELL.

>> HOP UP HERE, LAY DOWN ANDBRING YOUR KNEES TO YOUR CHEST.

>> IS THAT NECESSARY?

>> WE'LL TRY TO MAKE THIS QUICK.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: LET ME GET THIS

STRAIGHT: THEY ARE THE USINGTHE SAME TACTIC TO SCARE US THAT

BURGER KING USES TO TRY TO MAKEITS LIFE BETTER.

NOW I'M CONFUSED.

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