C-SNAP

  • Aired:  02/15/11
  •  | Views: 157,104

Prominent Republicans gather to roast Barack Obama at the Conservative Political Action Conference. (4:49)

(BEEP) DICTATOR.

OOPS.

BUT OF COURSE THE MIDDLE EAST

ISN'T THE ONLY PLACE WHERE

CITIZENS ARE CALLING FOR AN

OVERTHROW OF THE GOVERNMENT.

THERE WAS A GROUP OF

REVOLUTIONARIES CLOSER TO HOME

SPECIFICALLY AT WASHINGTON

D.C. WHERE REPUBLICANS

GATHERED FOR C-PAC, THE

CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL ACTION

CONFERENCE THAT WAS LAST YEAR

REFERRED TO AS THE REPUBLICAN

WOOD STOCK.

WHAT THIS YEAR'S THEME.

>> THE PRESIDENT WENT FROM

CHANGE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN TO

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS CHANGE?

>> THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING,

OBAMA MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO

BECOMING THE PRESIDENT OF

EGYPT.

NOBODY WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT

HIM BEING A MUSLIM THEN.

>> Jon: BOOM!

IT'S LIKE A ROAST.

THIS YEAR IT'S A ROAST.

IT'S LIKE ONE OF THEM COMEDY

CENTRAL THINGS ONLY WITH

BARACK OBAMA AS THEIR PAMELA

ANDERSON AND SOCIALISM AS

THOUGH SHE WAS MARRIED TO

SOMEONE WITH A COMICALLY LARGE

PENIS.

LIKE ALL ROASTS, COMICS WITH

DIFFERENT STYLES GATHERED.

LET'S GO WITH THE OLD PRO

FREDDY ROMAN.

>> WASHINGTON HAS UNDERGONE A

RATHER BIZARRE TRANSFORMATION.

OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS.

OL BER MAN IS OUT AND REAGAN

IS IN.

>> Jon: THAT WAS A GREAT JOKE

FROM SOMEONE BEST KNOWN FOR

BEING WHAT YOU HAVE TO DRAW TO

GET INTO ART SCHOOL.

BOOM!

GOOD STUFF.

LET'S SEE HOW THE C-PAC GAME

COOK WOULD FAIR, THE GUY WHO

IS HUNKY BUT NOBODY EVER

ADMITS TO LIKING.

>> THIS IS THE LEADER OF THE

FREE WORLD'S ANSWER TO THE

GREATEST JOB CRISIS SINCE THE

GREAT DEPRESSION?

WHAT'S NEXT?

LET THEM EAT CAKE?

EXCUSE ME.

LET THEM EAT ORGANIC CAKE?

>> Jon: BANG!

HE STOLE THAT JOKE.

I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU I'M

IMPRESSED SO FAR WITH THE

MATERIAL AND THE PERFORMANCES.

WHERE IS THE COMIC YOU

SECRETLY FIND REALLY HOT BUT

HOPE NEVER EVER BECOMES

PRESIDENT.

>> YOU MAY KNOW THAT THE

PRESIDENT OF CHINA IS NAMED

HU.

HIS NAME IS PRESIDENT HU.

AND WITH ALL THE MONEY THAT WE

OWE CHINA, I THINK WE MIGHT

RIGHTLY SAY HU'S YOUR DADDY.

>> Jon: OKAY.

SO NOW WE KNOW HOW YOU WOULD

TELL A JOKE TO

KINDERGARTENERS.

OR AN ENGLISH AS A SECOND

LANGUAGE CLASS.

NEITHER OF THEM ARE THERE.

OF COURSE LIKE ALL ROASTS

CERTAIN THEMES GET BEATEN TO

THE GROUND.

JOAN RIVERS HAD SOME WORK

DONE.

THE GUY IS SO OLD HE TAKES HIS

TEETH OUT WHEN YOU'RE BLOWING

HIM.

(LAUGHING)

SO WHAT'S THE LINE ON OBAMA?

>> I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE

AN AMERICAN CITIZEN BY BIRTH.

AND I DO HAVE THE BIRTH

CERTIFICATE TO PROVE IT.

>> I'M NOT ONE WHO QUESTIONS

THE PRESIDENT'S BIRTH

CERTIFICATE AND THE EXISTENCE

OF HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

BUT WHEN YOU LISTEN TO HIS

POLICY, DON'T YOU AT LEAST

WONDER WHAT PLANET HE'S FROM?

>> Jon: YOU'RE JUST SAYING HE

WASN'T BORN HERE.

COME ON.

HEY, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN PRESIDENT OBAMA AND

THE "NEW YORK TIMES"?

ONE IS BLACK AND WHITE AND

FULL OF LIES.

THE OTHER IS A PUBLICATION

I'VE NEVER READ.

BOOM!

I'M NOT SAYING MALCOLM X IS

HIS BIOLOGICAL FATHER BUT THAT

IS WHAT I'M SAYING.

AND OF COURSE THERE'S ALWAYS

GOING TO BE A HECKLERS BUT A

REAL PRO HANDLES IT.

>> ALL RIGHT.

SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

(BEEP).

LIKE...

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

THERE WAS AT LEAST ONE TOTALLY

RANDOM CELEBRITY.

MUHAMMAD ALI OR GEORGE

HAMILTON FOR SOME REASON ON

THE ROAST OF DAVID HASSLEHOFF.

C-PACK BOASTED A SPECIAL

APPEARANCE FROM A REAL ESTATE

DEVELOPER WHO IS BEGINNING TO

REPRESENT A VERSION OF

HIMSELF.

>> I WISH... BY THE WAY RON

PAUL CANNOT GET ELECTED.

I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU.

I CAN TELL YOU THIS, IF I RUN

AND IF I WIN, THIS COUNTRY

WILL BE RESPECTED AGAIN.

>> Jon: OH, YEAH.

YOU'D REALLY CLASS UP

WASHINGTON.

YEAH.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'D DO TO.

I WOULD GET THIS COUNTRY OUT

OF BANKRUPTCY.

THEN I'LL PUT IT BACK INTO

BANKRUPTCY.

THEN OUT AGAIN.

THEN IN AGAIN AND SO-AND-SO

FORTH UNTIL, BOOM, IT'S THE

FUTURE.

GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE.

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