Toker & Hooch

  • Aired:  01/07/14
  •  | Views: 242,285

The argument against marijuana would carry more weight if those making it had a similar perspective on America's alcohol usage. (4:48)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

SO, YOU GOT YOUR RECREATIONALMARIJUANA, IT'S NOW LEGAL IN

COLORADO.

WE'VE HEARD HOW POT USE HASRECENTLY COMBINED WITH

TEXTING TODEVASTATING

CONSEQUENCES.

THERE'S ANOTHER REASON WHYAMERICA SHOULD RECONSIDER THIS

LIBERALIZATION OF POT LAW.

>> POT JUST MAKES YOU DUMB.

>> Jon: IT JUST MAKES YOUDUMB!

IT JUST DOES.

IN THE SAME WAY THAT SANTA CLAUSJUST IS WHITE.

UNASSAILABLE TRUTHS AND THAT'SNOT ALL THAT POT DOES.

>> MOST PEOPLE THAT DO SMOKEPOT, I WATCH THEIR AMBITION

CURTAILED STEADILY AND THEYNEVER REACH THEIR POTENTIAL.

>> I'M NO ON POT BECAUSE IT'SADDICTIVE AND LEADS TO SERIOUS

DRUGS.

WHAT IS TO KEEP SOMEBODY FROMGETTING POTTED UP ON WEED AND

GETTING BEHIND THE WHEEL?

>> NOTHING.

>> Jon: NO, NO THAT IS JUSTTOO TASTY.

HIT ME AGAIN.

>> WHAT IS TO KEEP SOMEBODY FROMGETTING ALL POTTED UP ON WEEDROM

ANDGETTING BEHIND THE WHEEL.

>> NOTHING.

>> Jon: SAMPLE THAT AUDIOBEYONCE THAT IS -- THERE'S NO

QUESTION THAT POT LIKEEVERYTHING ELSE CAN HAVE ITS

DOWNSIDE.

A RECENT UC SAN DIEGO STUDYFOUND THAT ALCOHOL APPEARS TO

HARM THE TEENAGE BRAIN EVEN MORETHAN, AND I'M USING CLINICAL

TERMINOLOGY HERE, GETTINGPOTTED ON WEED.

[ LAUGHTER ]SO YOUR ARGUMENT AGAINST

MARIJUANA IT WOULDCARRY A LOT MORE WEIGHT

IF THE SAME INDIVIDUALS HAD ASIMILAR PERSPECTIVE ON AMERICA'S

ALCOHOL USAGE AND GO.

>> IT'S WINES-DAY, WEDNESDAY,BEST DAY OF THE WEEK.

>> GREAT JOB GETTING US DRUNK.

>> IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DRINKIT, PASS IT AROUND.

>> HAVEN'T HAD A BEER IN EVER.

>> WOULD YOU LIKE A BEER?

> WHERE ARE YOU SPENDING NEW NEWYEAR'S EVE?

>> I'M GOING GET REAL DRUNK!

>> Jon: YEAH, I'M GOING TO GETREAL DRUNK!

I JUST HOPE I DON'T SEE ANY OFTHEM LOSER POTHEADS WHILE I'M

GETTING ALL (bleep)ED UPBECAUSE THAT WOULD KILL MY

TOTALLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLEALCOHOL BUZZ.

WE CLEARLY KNOW THAT MARIJUANAIS A DEADLY GATEWAY DRUG FROMNA

WHICH NO SANE PERSON CAN HOPE TOESCAPE. BUT OUR VIEW OF ALCOHOL

IS NOT EVEN BENIGN INDIFFERENCE.

WHERE MARIJUANALEADS YOU ALWAYS TO A DARK PATH.

HOW DO WE VIEW THE EFFECT OFBEER?

♪ ♪

>> COORS LIGHT.

>> Jon: (bleep).

BEER IS MAGIC!

IT TURNS AN OVERCROWDEDSWELTERING CITYSCAPE INTO A

BEACH PARTY WHERE SKATEBOARDSBECOME SURFBOARDS AND BUSINESS

SUITS BECOME BIKINIS.

REST ASSURED THE KIDS WILLNEVER ASSURED THE KIDS WILL

BE EXPOSED TO THIS WORLD THATGLORIFIES ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION

UNLESS -- UNLESS THEY WATCH TV.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> IT'S MILLER TIME.

FROST BREWED COORS LIGHT.

>> MICHELOB ULTRA.

>> BUD LIGHT.

>> Jon: THAT IS ONE AFTERNOONOF WATCHING FOOTBALL.

IT GIVES ME CIRRHOSIS OF THE

EYEBALLS.

I CAN'T SIT DOWN WATCHINGFOOTBALL WITHOUT BEING BOMBARDED

BY THE HARRY POTTER-ESQUETRANSFORMATIVE POWER OF

FERMENTED HOPS.

NOT THAT THEY AREN'T LOOKING OUTFOR THE KIDS.

>> PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY.

>> Jon: SORRY, I COULDN'T HEARYOU OVER THE SNOWING BIKINI

PARTY. MAYBE IF POT HAD AS MANYCOMMERCIALS AS BEER WE WOULDN'T

LET IT WORRY US SO MUCH.

IT WOULDN'T BE THAT HARD.

YOU COULD YOU USE THE SAMECOMMERCIALS.

MOST OF THEM BARELY NEED TO BECHANGED.

YOU KNOW THE DOS EQUIS GUY?

>> HE IS THE MOST INTERESTINGMAN IN THE WORLD.

>> Jon: HE IS JUST AN ACTORBUT IF YOU GET HIGH, HE WILL

BECOME THE MOST INTERESTING MANIN THE WORLD.

THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF MARIJUANA.

AND, IF I MAY SAY SO, AT THESAME TIME, YOUR COUCH WILL

BECOME THE MOST INTERESTINGCOUCH.

MOST BEER COMMERCIALS COULDEASILY BE RETROFITTED.

>> BUD.

>> SMOKE.

>> BUD.

>> Jon: THAT ACTUALLY EVENMAKES MORE SENSE BECAUSE YOU

MIGHT BUY BEER IF A FROG TELLSYOU TO BUT ONLY WEED REALLY

MAKES YOU BELIEVE THE FROG.

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