Water for Elephant

  • Aired:  02/13/13
  •  | Views: 105,800

Lost in Marco Rubio's State of the Union rebuttal hydration disaster was the fact that the Florida senator actually gave a speech. (6:02)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

NOW, LAST NIGHT WAS THE STATE OF

THE UNION.

THE STATE OF UNION REBUTTAL IS

MOVE OFTEN HANDED TO A RISING

PARTY STAR.

WHO'S STAR THEN ACCORDING TO

TRADITION QUICKLY FALLS

FOLLOWING THE STATE OF THE UNION

REBUTTAL.

>> GOOD EVENING AND HAPPY MARDI

GRAS.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

[WHISTLING]

[LAUGHTER]

THIS JEER'S SHORT STRAW WENT TO

MARCO RUBIO BECAUSE HE'S A YOUNG

DYNAMIC LEGISLATOR WITH BOLD

IDEAS AND A RHETORICAL FLARE AND

ALSO BECAUSE HE IS HISPANIC.

SORRY IS THAT CYNICAL.

YOU DON'T THINK THE REPUBLICAN

PARTY WOULD PANDER TO HISPANICS

THAT WAY.

>> THE TIME HAS COME TO PASS

COMPREHENSIVE IMMIGRATION

REFORM.

NOW IS THE TIME TO DO IT.

>> Jon: WOW, THERE IS SENATOR

JOHN McCAIN UP OFF HIS FEET

CHEERING COMPREHENSIVE

IMMIGRATION REFORM.

I'M SURE HE IS NOT DOING THAT TO

PANDER TO HISPANIC VOTES.

HOW DID HE FIGURE OUT -- HOW DID

HE FEEL ABOUT THAT BEFORE HE

FIGURED OUT THEY WOULDN'T WIN A

NATIONAL ELECTION WITHOUT THAT.

WE SHOULD BE WORKING ON

COMPREHENSIVE IMMIGRATION RIGHT

NOW.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: SO WEIRD!

AS SOON AS THEY COMPREHENSIVE

IMMIGRATION REFORM THE FLOOR

FELL AND McCAIN EVEN THOUGH HE

IS STANDING AND CHEERING CANNOT

BE SEEN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT WAS ON RUBIO TO BRING WORD OF

THIS ACCEPTING REPUBLICAN PARTY.

HIS PERFORMANCE WAS PERHAPS

[SPEAK SPANISH] AND SUDDEN IT

WILL STORY WAS THE SELF

DEPORTATION OF MARCO RUBIO'S

SALIVA FROM THE INSIDE OF HIS

MOUTH TO THE OUTSIDE OF HIS

FACE.

DON'T WIPE.

YOU ARE ONLY DRAWING

ATTENTION -- NOT THE SPITTLE.

THIS CAN'T END WELL.

WELL AS LONG AS YOU DON'T --

NO-O-O-O!

DON'T!

NO OOOO!

WHY?

[LAUGHTER]

I GOTTA SAY OBAMA TALKED FOR AN

HOUR WITHOUT SUCH AS A SIP.

MAY NEED A PROMPTER BUT AT LEAST

HE DOESN'T NEED AN IV BAG.

FEW PEOPLE KNOW THIS BUT LOST IN

LAST NIGHT'S --

[LAUGHTER]

YEAH?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WE WORKED REALLY HARD ON THIS

WHOLE THING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AT THE END OF THE DAY WE'RE LIKE

OH, (bleep) WHAT IS THE TITLE.

THROW THAT OUT.

ARGGHH.

[LAUGHTER]

FEW PEOPLE KNOW THIS BUT LOST IN

LAST NIGHT'S HYDRATION DISASTER

WAS THE FACT THAT SENATOR RUBIO

ACTUALLY GAVE A SPEECH.

THE FIRST NATIONALLY TELEVISED

REPUBLICAN SPEECH SINCE MITT

ROMNEY LOST.

THE PICTURE OF BARACK OBAMA DID

NOT MATCH THE BARACK OBAMA MOST

EXPERIENCED.

WHAT LESSONS DID THE G.O.P.

LEARN?

>> EA ACCUSED US OF WANTING

DIRTY WATER AND DIRTY AIR AND

HIS FAVORITE ATTACK OF ALL IS

THAT THOSE OF US WHO DON'T AGREE

WITH HEM ONLY CARE ABOUT RICH

PEOPLE.

BUT ANY TIME THE PEOPLE OPPOSES

THE PRESIDENT'S AGENDA HE AND

HIS ALLIES RESPOND BY FALSELY

ATTACKING HIS MOTIVES.

>> Jon:S IT'S SO HURTFUL.

IT'S ENOUGH TO MICK A PERSPIRE.

I'M SORRY, I MEAN GLOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YES, HOW ALL OF IT IS TO

MISREPRESENT YOUR POLITICAL

OPPONENTS VIEWS AND PROPOSALS.

ANYTHING YOU WOULD CARE TO ADD

TO THAT.

>> OUR FREE ENTERPRISE ECONOMY

IS THE SOURCE OF MIDDLE CLASS

PRORS EXPERT BUT PRESIDENT

OBAMA -- PROSPERITY, BUT

PRESIDENT OBAMA BELIEVES IT'S

THE CAUSE OF PROBLEM.

I HOPE THE PRESIDENT LOSES THE

ON SEFTION RAISING TAXES AND

INSTEAD TONIGHT WOULD HAVE BEEN

A GOOD TIME TO SAVE MEDICARE.

>> Jon: INSTEAD OF WHY DIDN'T

HE GO OUT THERE AND SAY

SOMETHING ABOUT MEDICARE.

SOMETHING -- WHAT WAS THAT?

>> I'M MEDICARE I'M PREPARED TO

ENACT REFORMS THAT WILL ACHIEVE

THE SAME AMOUNT OF HEALTH CARE

SAVINGS BY THE BEGINNING OF THE

NEXT DECADE AS THOSE PROPOSED BY

THE BIPARTISAN SIMPSON BOWLES

COMMISSION.

>> Jon: I SEE THE PROBLEM,

ONCE AGAIN RATHER THAN

RESPONDING

RESPONDING TO ACTUAL OBAMA,

REPUBLICANS ARE STUCK RESPONDING

TO THE FICTIONAL IMAGE OF OBAMA

THEY CREATED.

THE SMAIM BOILERPLATE REPUBLICAN

TALKING POINTS BUT JUST WITH A

BETTER BACKSTORY.

>> MORE GOVERNMENT ISN'T GOING

TO HELP YOU GET AHEAD.

IT'S GOING TO HOLD YOU BACK.

MORE GOVERNMENT ISN'T GOING TO

CREATE MORE OPPORTUNITIES.

IT'S GOING TO LIMIT THEM.

>> Jon: CUE THE SAME

REPUBLICAN IN THE SAME SPEECH

TRYING TO LIMIT YOUR ACCESS TO

FEDERAL HELP THAT MANAGED TO

HELP HIM AND NOT HOLD HIM BACK.

>> I BELIEVE IN FINANCIAL AID.

I COULDN'T HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE

WITHOUT IT.

MEDICARE IS IMPORTANT TO ME.

IT'S THE SAME MEDICARE MY MOTHER

RECEIVES RIGHT NOW.

>> Jon: BUT I POINT IS

(bleep) IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BECAUSE -- I DON'T KNOW -- IT

MAKES YOU DEPENDENT.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

REPUBLICANS LITTLE TIP, AS YOU

ARE FEELING AROUND FOR A NEW

PARTY STRATEGY IF PAUL RYAN

DOESN

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